A Guide To Geek Media

The Gears of War Timeline

2012-01-22T22:57:00.006-05:00

Due to my copious free time between job hunting, and some laziness, I've been spending some time with the Gears of War game trilogy. The story is barely noticeable in the first game (I somehow didn't realize it isn't even on Earth) but the last two have so decent narrative, and it turns out I like the tale. However, lots of cut scenes barely get into why the world, Sera, is the way it is; and I'd like to know. Collecting all the goodies from games 2 and 3 help fill in some back-story (but you have to want to read it), and I still want to know more about the Pendulum Wars, Marcus Fenix's prison sentence, the Locust Queen being "human", Adam Fenix's connection to things, and lots of smaller ones.

Karen Traviss is an author who wrote the Star Wars: Republic Commando series as well as Halo: Grasslands. She is well able to flesh out the Gears of War universe using what I assume are extensive background notes from the game's creators at Epic. Each book has a number of flashbacks which all overlap each other. Four out of five books have been released and I decided to read them all in chronological order, not in intended page number; but not even Gearspedia had a helpful timeline for me to work with. So, for anyone who wants to know in what order to read the books and play the games, below is what I have mapped out.

The four books are Aspho Fields, Jacinto's Remnant, Anvil Gate and Coalition's End. A fifth book, The Slab, is due out in May 2012, as of this posting. There are two different date systems used in the sagas based on the Pendulum Wars and Emergence Day. As far as I can tell no approximate Earth date has been given, so it's up to you to decide whether this is a future Earth colony or an alien planet with humanoids. I favor the former. [note: in Aspho Fields there is an error in date for a number of chapters as being set 16 years before E-Day. It should really be 2 years before E-Day. I account for that below.]

80 years before Emergence Day a new fuel source, Imulsion, was discovered deep underground. This led to the Pendulum Wars almost immediately and eventually involved all the nations of Sera, split between two sides; the COG and UIR nations. Eventually the UIR surrendered six weeks before Emergence Day. Prior to E-Day dates were counted as years after the Pendulum War started, so the siege of Anvil Gate took place during the 62nd year of the War. After E-Day and the near extinction of the "human" race on Sera, they referred to dates as Before Emergence (BE) or After Emergence (AE), which places the siege of Anvil Gate at 17 BE. The Seran day has 26 hours and the calendar includes months named Bloom, Frost and Rise. It can also be assumed that a Seran week is a least 7 days long.

62nd year of the War (17 BE)
Anvil Gate: chapters 5, 8, 11, 13, 17, and 19

67th year of the War (12 BE)
Aspho Fields: chapter 3, part 1

70th year of the War (9 BE)
Aspho Fields: chapter 3, part 2

75th year of the War (4 BE)
Aspho Fields: chapter 5

76th year of the War (3 BE)
Aspho Fields: chapters 6-7

77th year of the War (2 BE)
Aspho Fields: chapter 9-10, 12-13, 15-17, and 19

EMERGENCE DAY
Coalition's End: chapters 4, 7 and 11

1 AE
Jacinto's Remnant: chapters 3 and 6
Coalition's End: chapter 14 part 1
Jacinto's Remant: chapter 9
Coalition's End: chapter 14 part 2
Jacinto's Remant: chapter 13 parts 1-2
Coalition's End: chapter 14 part 3 - page 250 line 32
Jacinto's Remant: chapter 13 part 3 - page 290 line 19
Coalition's End: page 250 line 33 - page 251 line 12
Jacinto's Remant: page 290 line 20 - page 292 line 13
Coalition's End: page 251 line 13 - line 22
Jacinto's Remant: page 292 line 14 - bottom of page 292
Coalition's End: page 251 line 23 - page 252 line 8
Jacinto's Remant: page 293 (end of chapter 13)
Coalition's End: page 252 line 9 - end of chapter 14
Jacinto's Remnant: chapter 15 part 1
Coalition's End: chapter 17 part 1
Jacinto's Remnant: chapter 15 parts 2-3
Coalition's End: chapter 17 parts 2-3

9 AE
Coalition's End: chapter 20

10 AE
RAAM'S SHADOW

14 AE
GEARS OF WAR
Aspho Field: prologue, chapters 1-2, 4, 8, 11, 14, 18, 20 and epilogue
GEARS OF WAR 2
Jacinto's Remnant: prologue, chapters 1-2, 4-5, 7-8, 10-12, 14, and 16-18
Anvil Gates: prologue

15 AE
Anvil Gates: chapters 1-4, 6-7, 9-10, 12, 14-16, 18, and 20
Coalition's End: prologue, chapters 1-3, 5-6, 8-10, 12-13, 15-16, 18-19, and 21-23

16 AE
GEARS OF WAR 3

The Slab will cover more back-story of Marcus in prison (a few years prior to the first game) and a couple other background characters. As soon as it comes out I will update the timeline. Now I want to find a map of Sera.

[UPDATE Jan 25, 2012] Now that I'm reading more of the events surrounding the use of the Hammer of Dawn during 1 AE I have to improve the chronology. Some of the events overlap so I tried to separate them in the best places but you can take it with a grain of salt.

[UPDATE Jan 26, 2012] Raam's Shadow doesn't have much timeline info in it, other than to say sometime after Emergence Day. After doing some online research it appears (from Gearspedia) that the events of the downloadable scenario are about a decade after, or 10 AE. It tells the tale of the Kryll-Storm attack on Ilima, which is a precursor to the Battle of Ephyra (which is 10 AE according to Epic's timeline). I am not including the "lost chapter" from Gears of War 2 simply because it is an alternative explanation of the events following the death of Maria, and I prefer the actual game.

The Race Against Time Experiment

2011-09-11T23:06:00.002-04:00

Sci-Fi on TV for the week of February 20 - 26, 1955, (that I can get my hands on) is a single episode of Flash Gordon. They changed the opening character intros a little. I must have missed something because they are now using a new rocket that looks like the original, called the Sky Flash II. Something I haven't mentioned before, even though it's really bizarre, is the parrot Flash Gordon keeps on his ship. He isn't on this new one now. I've gotta find that missing episode from yesterday.

Flash Gordon and the Race Against Time- I'm getting used to the opening narration on each episode, as it tends to fill in the blanks the writers won't bother to cover in the main story. This episode starts to get into the geopolitical (galacti-politcial?) of the Milky Way in 3063 AD. The Galaxy Bureau of Investigation keeps the peace with member worlds by hiding secret weapons. I think the implication is if a planet steps out of bounds the GBI can wipe them out. However, if a majority of the member worlds want to pull out of the treaty, the GBI has to share its state secrets with all planets. There apparently has been a large scale war between much of the galaxy in the past, and the creation of the GBI helped broker a peace. This would explain more of the backstory to The Lure of Light as well (just not the science). Mars wants to go back to war and has been convincing others to join. Most member planets do what Earth does, so the leadership of Mars uses some underworld contacts to intercept Earth's representative on his way to the conference. When the Sky Flash II, with Flash, Dale, and the Earth Rep, are near Epsilon 30, they are hit with a planetary ray that shuts down its fusion engines. With horrible special effects, Flash manages to land near the people responsible, capture them and steal their ship. They make it to the conference in time as Earth wants to stay with the GBI, thus saving the galaxy from another war.

Not a bad episode only marred by the Sky Flash II's crash on Epsilon 30. During the landing Flash tells the Earth Rep to strap in. As the bridge is shaking he staggers to an equipment locker, finds some belt buckles and ties himself to the floor of the bridge. Really undignified. The director did a really good job of filming a shaky bridge that I actually think might have been on gimbals.

The Rains of Death Experiment

2011-09-10T22:28:00.001-04:00

Sci-Fi on TV for the week of February 13 - 19, 1955, is only a single episode of Flash Gordon. My Time DVR once again failed to grab this piece of Sci-Fi TV, but odds are it would have infuriated my Science Bone. Here what Wikipedia can tell you about it:

The Rains of Death- "The galaxy is threatened by torrential rains and flooding. Zarkov suspects the rains are a plot and the crew sets out to foil it."

That about says. The galaxy can't rain on planets, unless it's a metaphor for something. I want to watch it now, just to see how aggravated I'll become.

The Lure of Light Experiment

2011-09-09T22:08:00.002-04:00

Sci-Fi on TV for the week of February 6 - 12, 1955, is only a single episode of Flash Gordon. I actually have this episode from a set of DVDs called "Classic Sci-Fi TV". It has 14 episodes of Flash Gordon, and 136 episodes of other things you've probably never heard of. On with the review:

The Lure of Light- An interesting story that shows a complete lack of understanding about the principles of space travel. I'm accepting for the moment that everyone travels in rockets with flame shooting out the back. This allows them to travel to the stars in what I have to pretend is a chemical reaction-based FTL Drive. At least Rocky Jones was constantly refueling and he only left the solar system after acquiring new engine technology. The Sky Flash is even said to go to other galaxies without going faster than the speed of light. A scientist has invented a technique for faster-than-light travel. He wants to test it on the Sky Flash with Flash aboard. There is even a hint of Flash being from the 20th century as he talks about the breaking of the sound barrier. No one knows what will happen to a human that surpasses the speed limit. There's a neat animation the scientist shows as a rocket is stretched to infinity then snaps back, mirroring a little of what we'll see of Warp Drive in Star Trek: The Next Generation.

The Galactic Bureau of Investigation won't allow Flash to risk his life, but some evil despot queen of planet Diana kidnaps Dale Arden, because she also knows how to use a special ore (I think that's what it is) to modify rockets. Apparently there is a theory that is not well supported that says if you go faster than 186,000 miles per second time will go backwards. The Queen of Diana lost a great war some time ago and wishes the technology to send her back in time and be victorious. Flash also thinks this might happen and knows the queen will kill Dale for the formula. The Sky Flash arrives too late on Diana, with Dale tortured to death. Flash uses his ship, now outfitted with the drive, and breaks the Light Barrier, going back in time far enough to save Dale. Mission accomplished.

I'm still hung up on how the writers never considered how far stars are from each other and that they weren't using the staple of space opera technology, an FTL Drive. But, we are still a couple years from Sputnik so maybe I should give them a break. Nah.

The Mission to Masca Experiment

2011-09-08T21:28:00.001-04:00

Much of the free time I have used to watch lots of Sci-Fi TV shows has come to an end. I will however change my viewing habits from a months worth of TV every day to one week per day. Today, which is the birthday of Star Trek way back in 1966, I will be covering the week of January 30 thru February 5, 1955. The only show for the week is Flash Gordon and my Temporal DVR didn't record it, but here is what I can dig up:

Mission to Masca- "Flash and company travel to Masca, a silent planet."

The Sound That Walked Experiment

2011-09-07T23:42:00.000-04:00

January, 1955, at the beginning of the new year had two new Flash Gordon episodes. I have neither, so here is what my Temporal DVR missed:

The Sound Gun- "The Sky Flash falls under attack by a powerful sonic weapon."

The Weapon That Walked- "The GBI crew faces a woman who can turn humans to stone with a single look."

The Return of 1984 Experiment

2011-09-06T23:33:00.006-04:00

Five new episodes of Flash Gordon debut during December, 1954. Unfortunately (or not) I only have one of them. In England, a live broadcast on BBC of the novel Nineteen Eighty-Four. This is one of Peter Cushing's first major roles. It first aired on December 12th, but not recorded. The version I have is from the December 16th live broadcast that was recorded on 35mm. I love the fact that Britain is essential doing plays for TV. If you see it great, if not, we didn't really record it, so sorry. This is how early TV was. America was slowly moving away from it to shows they could syndicate, but England at the time was still doing stuff live. See my previous rant about losing The Quatermass Experiment. Finally, the Disney version of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was released in theaters. Captain Nemo is fantastic, the Giant Squid battle was epic, and the song & dance number between Kirk Douglas and a seal was really uncomfortable. This movie is one of the great ideas of Science Fiction, a man at war with the world for being at war. Does it need mentioning he has a nuclear submarine to hunt the enemies of civilization? The success of the Disney version has never been replicated and I think is due for an update. The Black Hole is very close in mood and that was also made by Disney.

The Great Secret- I blame my Temporal DVR for missing this one: "Zarkov's experiments to return life to dead worlds are endangered."

Return of the Androids- I take some liberties with names in this episode, it's hard to hear what the characters are saying. 400 years before "present day", King Lazarene of Scipio locks away the power to use androids, because he feels it makes humans lazy. There are three secrets to the resurrection of androids, and each is held by a different member of the current Galaxy Bureau of Investigation, Commander Richards knows where the android vaults are (Earth, Saturn, Uranus, Livy, Scipio, Minos, Plius, Helio), Dr. Zarkov knows what the operation frequency to tune them to (Sign Omega Sign Omega Cosign Epsilon), and Flash knows where the power source is (under a mountain range on Scipio). Quenn Thubia of Scipio has made a pact with Trydorn, of the renegade planet Petura. The two will learn how to activate all the androids and take over the galaxy. Flash holds the key, and after torturing Dale Arden by spinning her around really fast on a table, he gives that key up. Androids are activated on all the vault planets, but Flash manages to get to the Cobalt Core power source and destroy, permanently destroying all the androids in the galaxy. An okay episode marred by the fact the "androids" were just actors in radiation gear. They even have a stiff walk which is horrendous.

Nineteen Eighty-Four- This is the most subversive and terrifying dystopian future story ever told. Acted out live from the BBC somehow makes it even scarier. You can see that V for Vendetta was drinking from this well. The long scenes lend a lot of authenticity to the TV movie as well.

A Man is slowly turning against a dominant and controlled society of Big Brother. Every moment of every day tries his resolve to hide his disdain for the world; a disdain brought on by being an censor of information. Knowing there are lies all about and the people who feed on them because there is nothing else, drives him to move against the system and fall in love. No one fights the system for long and he is taken to the Ministry of Love, to be tortured. He eventually converts to the party line and turns in his lover, who also turns him in when she is tortured. Both go back to fulfilling their roles in controlled, mind-slave society.

Nineteen Eighty-Four is the blueprint any clear-thinking individual should hold their government up to and hope nothing lines up. The ability to constantly monitor everyone without a clear idea who that might be, the constant push to watch your neighbors and countrymen in case their ideals start to change, a new form of language that limits the mind, the ability for truth to be edited in such a way that everyone accepts it with blind faith, a constant war with no end in sight but a clear desire to continue, propaganda aimed to insite hatred against people that may not exist, children brought up to hate the old and destroy what they fear, torture to realign ideology, etc. As a geek I joke about Sky Net and Hal 9000 destroying the human future, but this story is already happening in so many ways. Information can change on the internet with a blink of an eye. Mobile phones can do so much to track our movements and communications; it just takes flipping a switch for it to become threat. Texting has become a fascinating shorthand for thought that keeps our brains thinking in short phrases and useless acronyms. Read the book, watch the movies, educate yourself on this story because it is more powerful than you think, a certainly more relevant. It makes me wish for a alien invasion just to slow things down.

The Frightened King- My Temporal DVR missed this one, too: "Flash and his GBI colleagues protect the king of the planet Xerxes, who is being plagued by terrible phantoms."

The Deadly Deception- Temporal DVR failed again: "A robot loaded with atomic bombs is launched into space. Flash must retrieve it before it's too late." (I seem to recall this plot from Star Trek: Voyager)

Duel Against Darkness- My Temporal DVR is useless this month: "A planet whose culture resembles the Middle Ages is ruled by a despotic magician. Can Flash, Dale and Zarkov end his evil reign?"

The Trial of Akim the Claim of Death Experiment

2011-09-05T22:55:00.003-04:00

November, 1954, is the end of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger, but Flash Gordon continues on, with four new episodes. As before if I don't have an episode I will just include the WikiPedia description. I have read much debate on the internet about the proper viewing order of the Rocky Jones story arcs. I watched them all in "air date" order, not "production" order, and I found nothing contradictory, so I endorse my viewing order. A Sci-Fi motion picture came out this month that I unfortunately don't have, Target Earth. I think the title says it all. Robots attack Chicago and a small group of humans, left after an evacuation, try to survive. Sounds like Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

The Trial of Rocky Jones, part I- Rocky, Biff, Vena and Bobby are on their way to Ankapore (last seen in Rocky's Odyssey), a subterranean world for those wanting to live off the grid. Some of Rocky's enemies have been carving out a life for themselves, because there is no extradition treaty there. After the Silver Moon lands, they visit the leader, La Volga, who tells them to eat at the Ankapore Cafe. While eating they see Griff, Dr. Reno, and Rudy DiMarco, all on their wanted list. Pinto Vortando has become a beggar on the streets, who Rocky gives a medal for helping out at the end of The Cold Sun. It is learned that the territorial limits of Ankapore end at the 1000 mile limit, anyone outside of it can be arrested by the Space Rangers. Later, DiMarco gets Vortando drunk, and beats him up outside of City Cave. Rocky happens by to save him. While Rocky and DiMarco fight, Griff takes Vortando away at gun point. Guards are called and DiMarco has Rocky arrested for assault and attempted murder. Since Vortando is out of the picture, La Volga has Rocky thrown in prison awaiting a trial. The Silver Moon crew are confined to their ship without any explanation. Someone pretending to be with Vortando helps break Rocky out, but it was just a trap for Griff to have his men beat the piss out of Rocky. Unconscious, they put him in Griff's rocket, YC47, and set him up for Grand Theft Rocket Ship. La Volga and Griff chase after him, and as Rocky wakes up, he is re-arrested. Back on Ankapore a trial starts with all the cards stacked against Rocky, and his crew (Biff, Vena, Bobby) are present as witnesses. TO BE CONTINUED. The legal system of Ankapore is terrible, but it is the equivalent of Tortuga, just a lot less drinking and violence. It's no wonder they hate Space Rangers.

Akim the Terrible- A narrator explains Charom (and especially its capital city Trantum) is a lawless planet run by Akim (who looks like a glitter Gumby). It is so lawless there are cops that arrest you for doing good. In other words, not a well thought out plot. The Galactic Bureau of Investigation sends an agent, Flash's best friend from his training days. The agent is captured and mind controlled into killing Flash. Flash is at GBI headquarters in his office when the assassination attempt occurs. Flash's office has a giant map of star systems across two walls, a schematic for the Sky Flash and a screen mounted high in a corner. Dale happens by to warn Flash and they capture the agent. Dr. Zarkov determines the agent to be suffering from mind control and possible lobotomy. He is able to do this with a portable scanner sending images to Flash's screen. Flash and Dale are ordered to have their hair cut off, a Selenite Band implanted in their heads and for them to wear wigs. They head to Charom after their hair styling and storm Akim's throne room. They are immediately captured and placed in the mind control machine. It is eventually explained that it only works two weeks. This is why police look for people, so they can be re-mind controlled. Flash and Dale pretend to be under the influence, learn all they can, then stun everyone in sight. They successfully arrest Akim. I like the stun guns. They actually freeze the target in place. I don't think it has a kill setting. Of note are actually pistols used by some of the people in the story. Not everyone has Stunners or Ray-Guns. The effects of rocket travel are improved from the pilot.

The Trial of Rocky Jones, part II- The biggest crime I can think of in a TV series is to have a "clip show". It frees up the writers to not actually have to write. You can tell this is the beginning of the end. Biff is appointed Defense Attorney and Dr. Reno is Prosecution. Defense calls Pinto Vortando to make a point he's missing. Then some technical legal stuff about off-worlders being able to call any witness that can add substance to a trial. As you can guess the witnesses called all retell a story from the past, including flashbacks. Nothing is resolved and the trial ends for the day. There is a strange, uncomfortable sub-plot about La Volga's daughter, Jonica (actress Melinda Plowman is 13), being attracted to DiMarco and possible marriage. He's been going along with it for now. After everyone leaves the court Bobby talks to Jonica about how cool he really is and tells more stories of Rocky (with clips and flashbacks). DiMarco interrupts and sees that Bobby is trying to influence La Volga through his daughter. Rocket YC47, commanded by Zandorf (Griff's right-hand man) , is on its way to Negato to hide Pinto Vortando, locked up in the cargo bay. They have to fuel at a space station run by Ranger Clark. Vortando escapes with the help of Clark, explaining to him that Rocky needs help. Biff visits Rocky in prison to say tomorrow is a new day. TO BE CONTINUED.

The Claim Jumpers- The narrator explains that in the future, gold miners spread to Mars, Venus and even the rings of Jupiter. I think they meant Saturn, but Voyager 2 eventually discovers rings around Jupiter in 1979 (25 years later). Gamma Oil is discovered on Venus, and some kind of gas is found in Jupiter's rings. After the space history lesson an APB is put out by GBI for a space pirate ship, run by Fred and Hans. The Sky Flash, with Flash and Dale, land on a radioactive planet and find the pirates by accident. While Flash is out putting an Automatic Bloodhound (a tracking device) on the ship, Fred and Hans board the Sky Flash, tie up Dale and ambush Flash. After the pirates leave, GBI sends out rockets Space Ghost, Starduster and Meteor, to begin searching for them. Dale gets loose, and helps Flash regain consciousness. They blast off for space and follow the trail. Planetary Pete, and his daughter Marie, radio in a claim about something found on the planetoid Maios [sic]. The pirates hear this and land on Maios to steal the claim. The Sky Flash follows them, but Zarkov at headquarters tells Flash not to move in because they need to follow the pirates to their hidden base. Flash realizes their going to kill Pete and Marie, jumps the gun and arrests them on the spot. It turns out one of the other three ships found his hidden base and the pirate operation is shut down.

The Trial of Rocky Jones, part III- Series finale. The "clip show" continues. Vortando is called up as a witness for the defense, while Clark is called as a witness for the prosecution, to ruin Vortando's character. This back and forth goes on for a while. Finally La Volga is ready to make a verdict, but an earthquake (ankaporequake?) hits, devastating the subterranean culture. Dr. Reno, DiMarco and Griff use the distraction as an excuse to escape while Rocky helps La Volga who is trapped under a column. Once the leader is safe Rocky tries to stop the other three and some things happen (i.e. people getting locked up and lots of fist fighting), but nobody gets off the planet. Once the quake stops all the space port ceilings have collapsed, no one can leave. Rocky sits in the Silver Moon trying to call for help and finally raises Drake and Mayberry, who happen to be on their way to Ankapore. They have one Trotanic Missile on board. They fire it and Rocky uses a magnetic tractor beam to direct it. An opening is made and Drake offers assistance to the people of Ankapore. La Volga declares his planet will no longer be a haven for pirates, joins the United Worlds of the Solar System, and signs an extradition treaty for the capture of Griff, DiMarco and Reno. THE END. I really like the characters and the attention to internal details even it it flies in the face of science as it is known today. I would totally buy this series if it was completely restored.

The Dancing Death- My Temproal DVR did not record this one: "The GBI team is held captive in a vibrational device that leads people to commit suicide."

The Breath of Death- Flash Gordon feels like a universe I just stepped into without knowing the politics or geography or anything. I like the stories, because the characters are generally likeable, but they throw a lot at you sometimes without giving you time to digest information, then you miss something. Once again this is an issue with the writers and their desire to narrate everything. One other problem I have is that often times I can't understand the dialog. That goes to the quality of the recording, but this was mostly produced in Germany. Other than the main characters, all the supporting actors are German that are just acting in English. When the start to emote or yell, I know it's in English, but it sounds German and I can't make sense of the technobabble. I love technobabble. Gemini is a prison planet for hardened criminals on the edge of civilized space. Flash has to make a delivery with Dale because she can fix a water purifier for them. One of the most dangerous murderers in the galaxy, wearing the number 34, hates Flash for catching him. 34 sees a moment to escape and takes it, sneaking aboard the Sky Flash. Flash's ship is the most advanced rocket in the "Universe" (read "Galaxy" due to writer misunderstanding of astronomy). After they blast off for 34 makes his move, capturing Flash and Dale. By this point Gemeni knows they have an escaped prisoner and inform GBI who sends Zarko and their boss out to hunt them down and destroy the Sky Flash. This is to keep it out of enemy hands. 34 wants to go to his hideout of Leo, but they need fuel from Ariel first. Ariel was the deadliest atmosphere in the Galaxy (I think Venus' atmosphere is way more deadly and toxic). I don't know how they quantify that since you can go outside without a space helmet, you just have to hold our breath. The Sky Flash lands and 34 has Flash help him run outside to grab fuel. Apparently the Sky Flash doesn't have space helmets. On a space ship? Really? No space suits or anything? These writers suck. A couple criminals get word 34 is on the loose and head to Ariel knowing about the fuel situation. They are afraid of 34 and want him dead. Zarkov is headed to Ariel, as well. Suddenly Flash beats up 34 right when the two criminals shoot him from their rocket. Zarkov sees this and shoots that rocket down. Lots of shooting happens, all the appropriate people die. Flash gets the fuel and they blast off back to GBI headquarters. In the future all prison guards are stupid, there is no space flight protocols about safety equipment, and no one thinks to inspect ships for prisoners on a prison planet.

The Flash Gordon Rocky Jones Experiment

2011-09-05T00:40:00.003-04:00

There's a new show in town, that began in October of 1954. Flash Gordon, a joint American, German and French series (no subtitles, all in English). 39 episodes were broadcast between 1954 and 1955, but I could only get a hold of 14 of them. For the rest I will just say that my Temporal DVR failed to record. I will fill in the blanks on Flash Gordon by providing the Wikipedia description of the episode. I want companies to know that I am willing to trade actual money for their TV shows. I'm not going to bit-torrent their stuff, even though it is probably Public Domain by this point. There is also more Rocky Jones, Space Ranger as the series is gearing up to end.

Flash Gordon and the Planet of Death- If I were a kid of the '50s I'm sure I would have been versed in all things Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, Captain Video, Commando Cody and Rocky Jones. However I am not. This is not an origin story. Maybe I was supposed to have at least seen the theatrical serials. I was a little lost, but here's what I got out of it. The three principle characters are Flash, Dale and Dr. Zarkov, and their ship is the Sky Flash. They answer to Commander Richards of the Galactic Bureau of Investigation. Zarkov wants to test a new anti-gravity device on the uninhabited planet of Tarset, but a scientific group who investigated it was all killed off except for one person. Flash, Dale and Zarkov interrogate the survivor who tells a tale of a cursed statue that shines a light, killing anyone it sees. They all head to Tarset on the Sky Flash, and find the dead bodies and the statue in some ruins. The light comes on and Flash ends up hiding with the scientist, who he immediately accuses of lying. They escape a wall crushing trap while Dale and Zarkov are captured by the leader of planet Ebon. Flash learns that Ebon wants to use Tarset as a forward base for attacking Earth. Ebon's leader explains the eye is really a paralysis ray, and tries to torture Dale with it. Flash intervenes and the lone-survivor scientist sacrifices his life so they could escape and stop the people of Ebon. Something like that. My DVD copy is really hard to understand some of the dialog. I couldn't figure out anyone's names. The Sky Flash seems to drift sideways in special effects shots because the FX guys don't know how to shoot space scenes yet. Rocky Jones does a much better job. Not much science to butcher, but the leader of Ebon does describe how his Paralysis Ray excruciatingly effects the human body.

Vena and the Darnamo- Wow, this is not a good episode. Rocky, Biff, Vena and Bobby head for the planet Mandora, an insignificant speck of a place that brings fear to those that land on it. Why does Rocky want to go there? Because he met a smuggler on Apollo Minor who found it by accident, and as proof, gave Rocky an umbrella with a dog headed handle, but made in Cincinnati. They go to this lush tropical planet and are immediately set upon by a German Shepherd. It's injured and Vena helps it. Rocky realizes this whole thing was dumb idea, puts the umbrella back in the ship, but changes his mind and decides to explore just to make a full report to Secretary Drake. They find a dog headed totem and get attacked by sling-shot wielding natives, that howl to communicate. They run back to the ship, but the umbrella is missing and there is noise on the bridge. Rocky rushes in and encounters an old lady, Ms. Pilkington, who wants her umbrella back. They go to her house for tea and learn she comes from a long line of explorers who left Earth in a Sky Wagon and landed on Mandora. Something to do with being inspired by Jules Verne. She gave the natives sling shots and they revere her as a god, but fear her dog, which they refer to as Darnamo. Everything suddenly becomes a Pioneer vs. Indian story as the natives attack, kidnap Vena in her sleep and prepare to sacrifice her. Darnamo saves her by attacking the locals and they all escape Mandora, leaving the old lady behind who just wishes to be a god. THE END. The final stand alone episode. They never explain much of how her family built this house on the planet, and she seems to live as if she can go down to the country store and get more laundry detergent or something. Maybe there is more to this planet than meets the eye, but I think the writers were superficially trying to make a western out of a space western.

Escape into Time- I don't have this one so here is what is known: "Flash and Zarkov must rescue Dale from a mad criminal who seeks to kidnap her with his time machine."

Out of This World, part I- The uninhabited planet Hermes has been pulled out if its orbit and flung into deep space by an unknown force (there's even a sparkle trail). It turns out Hermes is from Earth's solar system (don't ask me where). Professor Mayberry uses some star charts and traces the magnetic effect to Rigalio, in the Alpha Centauri system. It has two moons that, when lined up just right, creates an amplified magnetic beam. In 30 days that event will line up with the Earth. To make matters worse, a parachute of unknown material is found on the East Coast. There are enemy troops on Earth. Rocky gets back to Earth and is brought up to speed. The plan: to set up a base of operations on Herculon (just like Inferno in Space), then launch to Rigalio to visit their ruler, Nizam. To make matters even more worserer, Juliandra is tricked by her twin evil sister Noviandra, who she locked in a secret room of the palace. Her father, Barbaro, used to be Herculon's leader and ran the war with the United Worlds. He had two daughters, Juliandra and Noviandra. When Barbaro lost power, Juliandra locked up her sister and took over Herculon with an agenda for good. But now Juliandra is locked up with her sister pretending to be her. On Earth, Rocky catches a Rigalian infiltrator (who wears a turban), and captures him, while two of his compatriots steal YN2, Secretary Drake's personal rocket. They head for station AW3, take it over and wait for further instructions. Rocky, Biff, Vena and Mayberry head to Herculon. They get jumped by a flying saucer, leaving no doubt that a more advanced culture is causing trouble (the same one from Blast Off). Rocky barely gets a chance to respond, before it zips away at high speed. On arrival at Herculon they are arrested by the fake Juliandra and Biff ordered back into Herculon service. After changing uniforms he comes across the hidden room and saves Juliandra. They recapture Noviandra and the real Juliandra releases the crew of the Silver Moon. Rocky is furious that he was invited to help save Earth, then thrown in prison. Juliandra wants to keep everything secret and just tells him she's a woman and that means she does random things. With Mayberry in tow, they head back to Silver Moon, all the treaties with Herculon signed, and blast back into space, leaving behind Biff, Vena and Bobby. In orbit they get a call from Ranger Clark on AW3 that Drake wants to see them there. Rocky sets course. TO BE CONTINUED. All communications between ship and shore have all been by Astrophone, which is essentially a corded handset. Every race does this, just a different style of microphone. Regalians actually use wireless, handheld radios which almost look like late '80s cell phones. These can directly talk to space and even the home world in real time, orbiting a different star. I really like that the writers got back to the race of people that made the saucer. On the bad side, the Regalian infiltrators stand out stupidly with their turbans. When they steal Drake's ship he never alerts the Space Rangers, so Clark on AW3 blindly lets them land (you'd think there was a special IFF for the Secretary of Space Affairs). He then loses the station. Space Ranger security is terrible.

The Electro Man- I don't have this one either: "Flash and company square off against the Electro Man, a mysterious deity who reigns over a planet where all life is made of metal."

Out of This World, part II- More interstellar running around. The message to see Drake at AW3 is a ruse to call the Silver Moon into the perfect ambush spot for the saucer. Rocky comes up with a good strategy and Mayberry makes the kill. Saucer destroyed! They realize AW3 is a trap, but Rocky docks anyway. He lets himself get captured so he'll be taken to Regalio, his plan all along. The Regalians destroy station AW3 after leaving, but Clark gets away in the Silver Moon. On Regalio, Rocky and Mayberry start to negotiate with Nizam. Regalio never cracked the secret of the atom but they have learned a lot about magnetism. Mayberry offers a truce where there share the secrets of each worlds, mastery over magnetism for the mystery of nuclear fission. Nizam likes what they have to offer but warns them about crossing him. Then then get a tour of the Magnetorium, where two rods have been put through the planet to the core, each one positive and negative. This releases an energy which can be fine tuned to send to any location and power a ship or a factory. But, there is an energy leak at the source so a Robot manages the Magnetorium. When they channel energy into their two moons it sends a heavy attractive magnetic beam that can pull a planet out of its orbit. This is what they threaten Earth with, but no explanation why. Juliandra doesn't realize Rocky had a plan to get captured so makes her own rescue mission. Nizam wants to marry her so she uses this to her advantage. She takes, Biff, Vena and Bobby in her ship to Regalio and courts Nizam. While he's distracted Biff sneaks off to locate Rocky and Mayberry. Juliandra is able to drug Nizam so he doesn't realize Rocky and Biff are beating up every guard he has. They finally get to Juliandra's rocket and take off, but Rocky is still thinking about the Magnetorium, the source of all power. TO BE CONTINUED. Magnetic science isn't great here, but I like what the writers have come up with. I wonder if they know Rocky has one of their saucers. I like the politics, again, but I wanted to see if Rocky could actually negotiate a cease fire. Plus, the saucers have a tactical weakness the Space Rangers can exploit. Think of it as a Top Gun maneuver in space.

The Vengeance of Rabeed- Don't got this one neither: "The mad Rabeed returns after 100 years in exile with plans to destroy the galaxy. It is up to Flash, Dale and Zarkov to stop his evil scheme."

Out of This World, part III- Rocky and friends get back to Herculon. For some plot driven reason Juliandra gives Bobby her special "magic" ring and tells him to pace around the palace with it. Noviandra succeeds in another escape attempt, locking Juliandra and Theba (her caretaker) in another chamber. Once again she posses as Suzerain Juliandra and calls Nizem (I never figured out if that is his name or a title). Nizem wants nothing to do with her after the spiking of his drink. She offers a new truce between them and a gift of Rocky and Mayberry. He accepts. She orders the two locked up in her ship and tells Biff to pilot for her. He's a little suspicious. After they leave Drake arrives but no one has seen Rocky or Mayberry. Nobody can find either one, but Bobby happens down the forbidden corridor where the ring opens a secret entrance. In there he saves Juliandra and Theba, allowing the Suzerain to tell the truth about her rule. On arrival at Regalio, Noviandra sweet talks Nizem, but he soon realizes she isn't the real Juliandra. He had tried to make a deal with Barbaro once, so Noviandra is hoping to take him up on it. He orders them locked up, but she and Biff escape. Noviandra even knifes a guard, Tor, in the heart to escape. Wow. She runs to the Magnetorium and lets the Robot out. All power is lost and the Robot goes on a killing spree. He breaks some necks and spines of Nizem, two of his guards and finally Noviandra, herself. When power was lost Rocky and Mayberry escaped (their door needed power) and they found some explosives. At the Magnetorium Rocky puts explosives all around when the Robot returns. He manage to destroy the Robot and blow up the place. Escaping into space, mourning over the loss of such powerful technology, they head for Herculon again. THE END. The actress who played both Juliandra and Noviandra, Ann Robinson, did a good job of separating their personalities. One had a bunch more make-up on and had crazy eyes. They FX guys even did a split screen so the two could meet each other. She is better known as Sylvia Van Buren from both War of the Worlds movies, and the '80s TV show. The knife stabbing was surprisingly violent for this show. The Robot, itself magnetic, could pull people towards it, making the kill easier. It wasn't knocking people out, it either broke their neck or hugged them until their spine cracked. Take your pick. When it came at Rocky he stripped all the metal off his body. I'm not sure why Regalian scientists would have built a killer Robot then make it an engineer. I guess if it wasn't maintaining a power plant it wanted to kill.

The Cold Inferno Experiment

2011-09-03T23:00:00.005-04:00

Four new weekly adventures of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger air during September, 1954. Due to cast changes, the show doesn't get renewed past this year. I am so happy to see them get rid of Winky, but the actor went out hardcore on a shooting spree with Mexican police, so he went to jail. I won't be making fun of him anymore. Also in theaters at the time was another kid-oriented Sci-Fi movie, Tobor the Great. Sadly I didn't get my hands on it in time for review here, but maybe one day. All classic Sci-Fi should just be available for streaming on NetFlix. Many are in the public domain to make it easier.

The Cold Sun, part III- This is one of the lowest points of science in the series yet. Dr. Reno helps Pinto Vertando escape Space Ranger jail and the steal the XV9, with Bobby aboard, headed for Herculon. To prevent an immediate pursuit he puts a bomb in on the Silver Moon, which starts a fire in the Trotanic Missile room (i.e. Engineering). Rocky puts the fire out but the ship is delayed a while for more repairs. During the trip, Bobby calls Vertando a coward which for some reason hurts him deeply. Pinto Vertando, who was once a minor warlord in the series, is reduced to this Mongolian arch-typical over-acting bad guy that is meant for kids. He is wasted and really annoying. On Herculon, the wedding is about to proceed but Vertando decides to tell Suzerain Juliandra that her future husband and Olympian Rudy DiMarco is in league with Reno to take over Herculon and continue the fight against the United Worlds. Reno was DiMarco's trainer and wanted him to win the Olympics just to offer him up to Herculon if the need ever arose. And it did. Way to contrive for the story but it gets worse. It turns out before launch the Trotanic Missles weren't armed and only he knows how to set it. There was only time to put one on each rocket, he has one and Rocky has one. Everyone assumes that the Silver Moon is destroyed, and Reno holds the only key to saving the sun. He trades this knowledge for freedom now that his plot is exposed, and they take Bobby back in XV9 for Torita, Mercury's totally made-up moon. On the way, Rocky comes across Reno in space, also heading for Torita (there must be only one flight path). Rocky disables the ship, rescues Bobby, captures Reno and DiMarco, and accidentally sets off a fully armed Trotanic Missile. I want to point out this is meant to have an explosive affect on the sun, but it explodes in space and does little harm to the Silver Moon. They finally land on Torita and see a "crust" covering the sun. Reno has a wrist gun, but Rocky throws a space helmet over his arm (which I think was blown-off), and proceeds to beat up DiMarco. Rocky is in a space suit and still manages to clobber the Olympian, proving he was cheating in their last fight. The Trotanic Missile is fired and it completely breaks up the sun crust. The planets of the United Worlds are saved. THE END. Why is there a crust on the sun? You can see sunlight on Earth. Unless they upped the yield of a Trotanic Missile, which is not in evidence when one blows up while the Silver Moon is in docking range of it, there is frellingly bad science on display. I do like the part where Reno grabs Bobby by the head, knocks him out and throws him in a corner.

Inferno in Space, part I- The Silver Moon comes across a region of space with some kind of atmosphere. It turns all forms of wood on the ship to ash, even going so far as wrecking most of the control console on the bridge. Rocky orders the ship out of the area and heads for Earth. Professor Mayberry explains that there is a moon, Cyrko, out there surrounded by a Planetary Nebula (wrong use of the phrase) of radiation and energy. Some of those cosmic rays had penetrated the ship and effected all the wood-based products on board. The Silver Moon is immediately ordered to have radiation shielding installed (really? this wasn't already in the ship's design?) and all wood-based products removed. A new sensor suite is also installed. Rocky, Biff, Vena and Mayberry head back out to the phenomenon while some nefarious goings on begin to happen involving Agar, last seen in The Forbidden Moon story arc, and played by a new actor. He plans an escape from captivity with an undercover agent, Dorton, posing as a Space Ranger at Space Affairs. Bobby, by the way, is thankfully left behind to watch Mayberry's observatory and lab, which look suspiciously like Griffith Observatory. In space the Silver Moon encounters the energy cloud and dives right in. They find Cyrko which is naturally erupting with nuclear mushroom clouds, spreading all sorts of radioactive material into space. Mayberry claims that not only will this cloud spread farther and farther out but it's on a collision course with Earth. TO BE CONTINUED. This is a similar set up to Crash of Moons, but this moon is super-radioactive, like in The Forbidden Moon. I am displeased with the science again, but that's nothing new. There is a case in the real world for naturally occurring nuclear reactions, involving deposits of Uranium under high pressure for millions of years, but not for over 1.5 billion years. Something to do with the radioactive decay of Uranium 235.

Inferno in Space, part II- Agar is on the loose with Dorton and they steal rocket ship NX7. During this time Mayberry is briefing everyone about a plan to protect Earth. It's not that Cyrko will hit Earth now, it's just that the radioactive halo around the moon will destroy all wood and paper on the Earth. He and Rocky recommend alerting everyone in the world and start using the world's industry to produce giant mirrors as part of Stage 1. These will be mounted around the world to reflect the energy or radiation or whatever it is. Stage 2 will be to send the Silver Moon to Cyrko again and drop off a magnetic liquid which will spread across the planet and attract all the energy in the cloud back to the surface, to prevent it from exploding near Earth. Supposedly Earth should already be feeling these effects but the moon is blocking it for now. Hurculon has become the forward base for Stage 2 because their moon, Alpha 3, permanently shields them. But Herculon is in another Solar System so Cyrko must be moving fast and/or have a big energy cloud. But first, Rocky grabs Biff to chase Agar and Dorton. Agar finds out that his stolen ship has Cold Light installed (from Pirates of Prah). He beats the bejeezus out of Dorton, puts him in a space suit, dumps him out the airlock, and cloaks the ship. Rocky spends valuable time saving Dorton and gets called back to Earth for a new emergency before he can grab Agar. On Earth Dorton spills everything he knows about Agar and his plans. Meanwhile, Agar has been listening to radio chatter and learns about the importance of Herculon during ths crisis. He arrives there and claims to be a Venusian scientist. On Earth, some regions are already experiencing devastation before Rocky's plan can be set in motion. TO BE CONTINUED. The logic of it all doesn't make any sense, but at this point I'm just going with the story. They claim to have a liquid that needs to be mixed to form a metallic skin over Cyrko. It sounds like one liquid is positive and one is negative, which I'm pretty sure can't be done. When you pour them together they form a giant magnet. I give the story a lot of credit for referring to the back catalog of characters and planets, including New Ophiuchus.

Inferno in Space, part III- Hurray, Rocky finally used a brilliant plan to save everyone aboard the Silver Moon. But first, Agar secretly meets with Juliandra's right-hand woman, Shima, to set her up as Suzerain, if she only helps him. Rocky and Biff blast off Earth to Herculon. On arrival Herculonians load up missiles and magnetic liquid and stuff. Shima introduces Agar to Naboro (played by the massive Tor Johnson, who makes many appearances in bad Sci-Fi movies, and by default Mystery Science Theater 3000), his new muscle. The three organize a coup and kidnap Juliandra to the stolen NX7. They learn that Rocky's journey is likely to be a one way trip. Rocky and Biff blast off Herculon of Cyrko. They get a distress call from Juliandra. Thinking they have time to save her and Earth, the Silver Moon diverts to NX7's location. When they dock Agar, Shima, Tor and Juliandra emerge and a big fist fight ensues. Rocky, Biff and Juliandra are knocked out and Agar once again gets away, with Shima and Naboro. When everyone recovers on the Silver Moon they realize Agar set their course for Cyrko and shattered all the controls. Now it is a one-way trip. They proceed as normal, dropping all the liquid while Earth moves all its mirrors into location. Rocky runs to the engine room and straps a rocket to the airlock, thus providing thrust to turn the ship around. Biff fixed the engine on/off button and turns on the engine when the new heading is correct, back to Earth. On NX7 Agar sets course for Medina, but Shima sicks Naboro on him for insolence. Naboro turns into the (incredible) Hulk and smashes all their controls. The ship drifts into the reflected energy from Earth and explodes. THE END. I know Rocky's thrust solution isn't perfect, he would need to correct the flat spin movement he initiated. But it was so cool to see him actually come up with a nearly plausible idea, I gotta give him credit.

The Blast Off Cold Sun Experiment

2011-09-02T23:19:00.002-04:00

August, 1954, (only 57 years ago) brought us five new episodes of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger. This month is the transition from Season 1 to Season 2. Many characters change with little in-story explanation.

Blast Off, part I- This is going to be a rough one. Rocky and Bobby are flying the Orbit Jet on their own when they get caught in an asteroid storm. I'm sure with a little thought it could have been avoided, like looking at the RADAR, but the ship takes damage. They start losing Oxygen and Rocky finds a nearby unexplored planet to land on. Unbeknownst to them it is inhabited by two primitive cultures, and their arrival does not go unnoticed. Apparently Rocky's appearance coincides with a mythological second-coming of the All High. Valley People worship these beliefs and the Hill People don't (or is it the other way around, I can't tell). There has been much strife between the two, but an impending marriage after centuries of conflict is supposed to easy tensions. Then Rocky shows up by accident on their world and screws everything; Hill People resent them, and the Valley People blindly worship them. Rocky opts for First Contact with the primitive cultures (as there is apparently no Prime Directive with the United Worlds). He tries to convince them he is from Earth but they don't listen and show him a plaque saying the All High were destined to return in the future. And, that time is now. The carved face on the plaque is human. Rocky idiotically chooses to become more involved because if he manages to get off the planet it would destroy the religious nature of the people. For the time being he decides to stay and they are taken to a sacred place where they are to live their lives. It is a saucer landing site of an alien race from another star that must have been the inspiration for the current religious movement. Rocky and Bobby head back to the Orbit Jet to send a distress call, because they have no spare parts to repair the oxygen system. TO BE CONTINUED. They're mere presence is provocative enough to start a war on this planet. How are there planets in the solar system that haven't been explored yet? They show a sun rise from the planet and the sun was big enough to be from the distance of Earth's orbit. Instead of using an SOS signal, Rocky sets the distress beacon to repeat "Orbit Jet" in Celestial Code to any passing ship.

Blast Off, part II- On Earth, Space Affairs figures out Rocky and Bobby are missing. Winky is off on his own looking for Rocky so he's out of the picture. Vena, Professor Newton and Ranger Sandy blast off to the last known location reported. Meanwhile, Rocky is contending with fear and suspicion all around him as he tries to make a kiln to heat metal for the Oxygen Compressor repair. While he's distracted the Hill People drop rocks on the Orbit Jet, knocking it over. But not before the rescue ship picks up Rocky's distress signal and lands (stupidly) next to the damaged Orbit Jet. All three are captured climbing out of the rocket. The daughter of the Valley People tries to warn Rocky all this stuff is going down and she is scratched by the Flower of Death. Rocky attends to her instead and misses out on the whole rescue-party-being-captured thing. A shaman is used to prey for anti-poison as Rocky is now being blamed for the "great evil". Then he gets really pissed to find out his friends are held captive. He runs off and negotiates a plan to save the girl, by getting medicine off-planet, and leaving Bobby behind to be sacrificed in case Rocky never returns. These people really don't respect the All High myths at all. After Rocky leaves, Bobby learns that the other three will be sacrificed, anyway, and engineers a jail break. They all run off to the walled garden, cave area the locals had set aside for the All Highs to live in; a place that is taboo to enter. TO BE CONTINUED. Newton explains that the planet has never been discovered before because it's in the outer reaches of the solar system and should be bitter cold. It obviously isn't but no explanation is giving to why this planet is thriving. Netwon also explains there are, like, a hundred unexplored planets out there, kind of like Kuiper Belt Objects, I guess.

Blast Off, part III- Rocky gets all the medicine on Earth he needs, but not any spare parts. He gets back to the primitive planet (he lands next to the wrecked Orbit Jet again) and learns his friends have all escaped. He needs Newton to administer an anti-poison. This time he brought a personal communication device and tells Sandy to get everyone back to the village (Hill or Valley, I can't tell anymore). Newton saves the sick girl but learns the other people wrecked the second rocket. Everyone heads to the flying saucer as the only viable alternative to escape. It needs a bunch of repair, and Rocky makes up something about using gravity as energy. Over the next day or so they are able to sneak to the rockets using a complex cave system to get all the parts they need. They finally get off the ground but have to land again later to recharge something. During this time the locals tried to cause an avalanche on the saucer (Rocky and the crew, didn't even notice), but one of their own was gravely injured. Newton injects him with something that cures him of infection and all the broken bones and crushed organs (with one frakking injection!), and finally all the indigenous people like the Space Rangers. Rocky promises this new planet will be an outpost to explore the outer planets and beyond, then they finally leave in the saucer. THE END. I really want to know what happens when they land on Earth with a saucer that can travel between stars. This could completely shift the balance of power to the United Worlds. This story would have been over in about one episode if Rocky started using his ray-gun against all the hostiles. If Rocky and friends would have stopped parking their rockets in valleys none of their ships would have been destroyed. When Rocky is on Earth he couldn't have brought some Space Marines or some other back-up? I do like the saucer, it has running lights that spin around the edge and a cool sound. That's the best that can come out of this thoughtless story. This isn't a new Sci-Fi story but I do see some ideas here handled much better the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode Who Watches the Watchers. This is the end of the original batch of 26 episodes...

The Cold Sun, part I- ... and this is the start of the final 13 episodes; in other words, Season 2. The sun is providing light, but no heat, and might have something to do with sunspot activity. This is also causing interference on all Astrophone calls to and from Earth. Rocky is on his way back on the Silver Moon XV3 with Vena, Bobby, Professor Mayberry and some co-pilot without a name. I think Winky is lost in space from last story as there is no mention of him. Neither is there mention of Professor Newton, who was probably put in a rest home. The new top Olympian on Earth, Rudy DiMarco, is visiting Secretary Drake at the Office of Space Affairs in the hopes of meeting Rocky. Dr. Reno, a civilian adviser, seems to be hatching a scheme with DiMarco. But the real thing going on is an end to the hostilities between the United Worlds and Herculon. It appears an old leader has lost his position and Juliandra, known as the Suzerain of Herculon (sound familiar?) wants to be more friendly. She proposes an exchange of personnel to better learn each others' cultures. Her most trusted officer, Biffen Cardoza, for Rocky Jones. Rocky of course declines, but they offer up DiMarco instead. DiMarco has something to prove and beats Rocky in a boxing match before the exchange. Once they get to Herculon, introductions go all around, but DiMarco sneaks off and meets with a contact to cause a rift in the proceedings. That night Vena is forced under hypnosis to write a fake kidnapping letter for Rocky. He goes out looking for her and gets in over his head, until Biffen shows up and saves him. They complain to Juliandra who has no idea what's going on, then Bobby finds Vena has been asleep in her room the whole time. (Nobody thought to look?) At this point Vena nicknames Biffen as "Biff", better than the name Winky. With everything back to "normal" Rocky calls Ranger Clark on OW9 to relay a message to Space Affairs, but all communications with Earth have been lost. TO BE CONTINUED. It's a nice touch that they no longer have the Orbit Jet since it was wrecked and stripped of parts last episode. The new rocket ship has a better looking dashboard, too. The first look at the Herculon capital is the same as the Ophiuchian capital. There must be a contractor out there building all the same buildings on the Outlaw Worlds. For that matter they also use the same mind control device that Cleolanthe was known for. In the real world of science, sunspots are a sign of a healthy star and become more plentiful during the Solar Maximum. However, during Solar Minimum we no longer see sunspot activity (or very little) and have begun to consider it indicates a cooling trend on Earth. At least heavy sunspot activity can have a huge effect on unshielded communication satellites, so that's not too far off in the story.

The Cold Sun, part II- Space Affairs is in lock-down on Earth because they are the only ones who know anything about the sun being the cause of the cold spell. This includes Drake, Mayberry and Reno. Mayberry has a theory, which isn't too far from something Newton would come up with. The sun's heat is being absorbed by a blanket effect over the surface of it. What ever that effect is the sun is still shining, but all the heat is trapped on the surface. Huh?!? The new plan, is to first get two ships, XV9 and the Silver Moon, loaded with Trotanic Missiles. Since there is no solar heat, Mercury is approachable, something the Space Rangers can't normally do. Mercury has a moon named Torita [sic]. Again, Huh?!? Both rockets are to land on the little moon and shoot four rockets into the sun to overheat it and blow away the blanket effect. Did anyone notice that the eight Trotanic Missiles fired at the moon, Posita, in Crash of Moons had no effect? Rocky leaves Herculon, with a special message for Drake's eyes only from Juliandra, and heads for station OW9. Little does anyone expect but at that moment OW9 is being ransacked by Pinto Vertando, who has turned interstellar pirate. To make his escape, Vertando, shoots a gyro control and the station becomes unstable and shakes a bunch. They leave Ranger Clark stuck on the station when Rocky tries to land. To make matters worse, all visiograph activity and Astrophone use is dead and Rocky has to dock on a moving target blind. He succeeds on manual, rescues Clark, then chases down Vertando. Even blind he disables his ship and captures all three pirates before heading to Earth. When Rocky arrives he hands over his three prisoners to authorities and gives Drake the message. For whatever reason, Juliandra is smitten with DiMarco and plans to marry him, making the Olympian the new ruler of Herculon. All part of some plan I think. Repairs (that aren't explained) are being made to the Silver Moon and all are nearly ready to go to Torita and fix the Sun. TO BE CONTINUED. The Space Rangers must have reversed engineer that saucer Rocky took, because the Silver Moon is able to go to Herculon, which orbits a different star, they call Oona. Even though it looks the same as all the other rockets, Bobby points out a new super-fast XV27, no doubt with more saucer parts, while on Herculon. According to the story, Earth is still getting light, but without heat, from the sun. So in this universe the photon packet of energy that is released from the sun, as light, cannot impact any molecules and vibrate them, thus causing heat. That's just not how light works, there is no light without heat. It's good they understood that the sun effects the Earth's weather but they get the rest wrong. I'm trying to suspend my disbelief for the shows sake, but these scientists have got to go. For payment to help the displaced people of Ophiuchus, Cleolanthe must have shared Trotanic Missile technology with the Space Rangers.

The Crash of War Experiment

2011-09-01T22:00:00.003-04:00

The year was 1954, in the summer month of July. Four new episodes of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger was on the air waves. If you were a Sci-Fi fan with a black and white TV and an antenna, this is what you saw.

Crash of Moons, part I- The Gypsy Moons, from Rocky's Odyssey, are the center of attention, again. Posita and Negato are moving into the inner solar system where most of the habitable planets are. Newton, Vena and Robby take Transport TR14 from Earth to space station OW9 to get close enough for radio contact. Rocky, Winky and Secretary Drake are on Ophiuchus trying to convince Cleolanthe to join the United Worlds. She wants nothing to do with them and kicks them off the planet. In space Rocky talks to Newton on the Astrophone and learns of the Gypsy Moons' movement. Rocky, being way smarter than Professor Newton (a scientist!), calculates that not only will the moons pass near OW9, but the station will be caught in between with the atmosphere chain. (There is a great visual of the two moons floating in space with lightning striking between the two.) Space Stations aren't designed for atmosphere and everyone needs to get off of it. The closest ship is TR14, but it isn't responding. Rocky races the Orbit Jet as fast as it will go, but OW9 is thrown all about. Quickly abusing science again he has Ranger Andrews use the Magnetic Tractor Beam to stabilize them, relative to the station, for a landing. He then pushes the station out of the atmosphere using full rockets and saves everyone. On Posita Bovaro is obsessed with his new child and their culture really has no idea about astronomy or where their moon is relative to anything. He just wants Rocky Jones to see his baby boy and makes everyone learn English. On the Orbit Jet Newton finally steps up his game and learns he better figure out if the Gypsy Moons are going to hit anything else. Even though every character on the ship, including Drake, questions him, Newton declares without a doubt Posita will impact Ophiuchus in one month. The Orbit Jet lands on Posita to deliver the bad news which insanely infuriates Bovaro who just wants people to love his baby. TO BE CONTINUED. Not a bad idea going on. The writers actually almost figured out gravity. Of course Newton was describing things, so it makes little sense. He claims the Gypsy Moons orbit each other (which is surprisingly spot-on science) and randomly move through the solar system. If that were the case then there would be no way to predict that Posita would hit Ophiuchus. He does mention all the planets orbit the sun, so that's something. However, since it used to be a planet in the solar system why isn't it still in the ecliptic plane of the sun, unless its orbit was more like a Kuiper Belt Object. I want the show to work, but I'm asking too much of these writers. Now to Rocky's science abuse: He saves the station by docking with it, then turning on his rockets to move it. That's fine except the docking port is asymmetrically positioned on the station. It would just spin in circles, unless for some reason the center of gravity is the docking port, then I'm not sure it would spin correctly as seen on screen. For that matter, why does the station spin? I thought it was for gravity but when you see the interior, the floor is flat and the walls are curved, not at all what you see in 2001: A Space Odyssey. It also appears that there are no thrusters on the station at all, but it ought to at least have a Reaction Control System to stabilize its position from all the gravitational effects of so many planets in the solar system. So close, yet so far for 1954. NASA won't be able to start advising Sci-Fi writers for another 4 years at the earliest.

Crash of Moons, part II- Bovaro comes to his senses and heads to Negato for to negotiate a total evacuation of Posita to the other moon. They do get in an argument whether or not they should warn Ophiuchus, since they were banished from the planet, but Rocky and Winky take the Orbit Jet to give it a try. On Ophiuchus, Atlasande is preparing for an important audience with Cleolanthe while his wife, Trinka, talks of leaving the planet. Even before landing on Ophiuchus Rocky sits in orbit broadcasting to anyone with an unscrambled Astrophone (something that is illegal on the planet punishable by death) about the impending disaster. Cleolanthe's standing order is to scramble any United Worlds' transmissions that arrive on her planet as she doesn't want her people to learn anything about the outside systems. Trinka has such an Astrophone, and gets his message. Atlasande comes home and catchers her with it, dragging her and the device back to Cleolanthe, to curry more favor. Cleolanthe won't listen to a traitor like Trinka and orders the Orbit Jet destroyed while it's trying to land. Trinka interferes (because she is stupidly left in the "war room") and Rocky safely lands. He runs into the city and captures Atlasande to make Cleolanthe listen to him. She finally believes him, but uses knockout gas on him and Winky while she, Atlasande and her new Lieutnant, Lassbaun, (I guess Darganto is still in prison) plan to destoy Posita with Trotanic [sic] missiles before it becomes a threat. Atlasande had laid out a similar plan that involved destroying the moon after it was evacuated, but Cleolanthe finally shows she is in fact insane and just wants to kill people. They leave at once to destroy Posita. Trinka escapes her super-minimum security holding cell, grabs Rocky and Winky, then run back to the Orbit Jet to chase down Cleolanthe. TO BE CONTINUED. We finally learn that Ophiuchus has been forcibly cut off from the outside and the citizens have no idea what happens off planet. That might explain why the is a communication blackout around the Ophiuchus Formation in Beyond the Curtain of Space. There is reference to a growing resistance movement.

Crash of Moons, part III- I'm impressed with the goings on in this one. Cleolanthe begins firing on Posita, but Rocky is able to disable her ship. Atlasande, who has become disillusioned with her, takes her into custody when she declares him a traitor. Cleolanthe becomes even more insane throught the episode. On Posita there is only 14 days left and evacuation to Negato proceeds using their aircraft. Several days later, the evacuation is complete. Rocky and Atlasande have a new plan, using the Ophiuchian rocket, fire all the Trotanic missiles in the hope of changing its orbital trajectory. Newton declares the bombardment a failure (furthur solidifying Cleolanthe has no idea what she's doing), Rocky leaves Winky and Drake in charge of the Orbit Jet and he heads off to Ophiuchus to warn everyone that the United Worlds will help evacuate the entire planet. When they land they are overrun with military personal trying to take their ship, since they no longer listen to Cleolanthe. Trinka somehow manages to calm everyone and a planetwide broadcast is made. Cleolanthe further complains no one cares about her planet and it's all conspiracy to remove her from power. In good faith the Orbit Jet will be the last one to leave the doomed planet with Rocky, Winky, Vena, Bobby, Professor Newton, Atlasande, and Trinka. Cleolanthe wishes to die on Ophiuchus, but at the last second Atlasande forcibly drags her to the Orbit Jet. Far from planetary orbit they watch Posita slam in to Ophiuchus. On the Astrophone Torvak, leader of the Negato people, explains it's the people that make a culture not to land. THE END. I'm surprised they destroyed an important planet in the story, and the visuals weren't bad either (for the time, that is). There is a good evacuation scene with at least a dozen rockets scattered in a landing field launching one after another. Medina rockets were mixed in with Space Ranger rockets, so they must have offered assistance, too. This three-parter was turned into a movie that appears on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Kip's Private War- Someone has been sabotaging some important pieces of equipment around the Office of Space Affairs. Rocky and Winky come back to Earth on the Orbit Jet to help figure it out. There is an issue with the planet Apollo Minor to contend with as well. A new boy, Kip, has been employed and runs around the place unsupervised. I hate when writers give the audience more of a clue than the characters. It makes them look like idiots. The episode title has Kip's name in it and we see him sneering in the background, so we know way too early that Kip is involved. Has Space Affairs learned nothing from all the Human agents Cleolanthe has working for her? Kip manages to break communication equipment, the gantry system and cars. No excuse. Bobby finds him letting out the air of Drake's car. How does Bobby stop him? He attacks him, totally beating Kip. Rocky and Vena come outside and see the boys fighting, which they break up. Keep in mind Bobby totally idolizes Rocky Jones and goes on lots of missions with him. Rocky usually deals with a problem by beating it up, so it's no wonder Bobby reacted violently. Why does Space Affairs keep employing children? It turns out Kip's dad, Mickey, was a thief who was caught by Rocky and held in jail at headquarters. Kip gets visiting rights and his dad is proud of his chaotic behavior. Instead of restraining Kip for terrorist actions against Earth, he makes Kip live with him and Winky. Kip plays a joke on them using a sound board device he made that keeps the two awake. To further the positive influence Rocky is sure Kip needs, there's the Apollo Minor mission. Apollo Minor has a weak, but legitimate government, that is trying to keep a warlord, Pinto Vortando, from winning a local election. The United Planets want the same thing so they send Rocky there to support the legitimate government. (This sounds like a political Afghanistan story.) So Kip comes along on this important mission and wants attention by using his sound board device to scare Winky. Rocky reads him the riot act, but Kip doesn't care. After landing on Apollo Minor Vortando's henchmen capture Rocky, Winky, Vena, Bobby and Kip. Kip backstabs Rocky and Winky by telling them a lie about the United Worlds. Vena, Bobby and Kip are free to hang out on the planet, but they all go back to the Orbit Jet. Kip is in their face about what he did, but Bobby actually refuses to beat the crap out of him because it ain't worth it. You see, Kip just wants attention. Rocky and Winky escape their cell, and get captured again, this time with the threat of death. Kip uses his sound board to simulate an all out Space Ranger attack on Vortando's compound and they rescue Rocky and Winky. Pinto Vortando is humiliated in front of his own people by two children and he loses power. The government is once again in charge, and the Orbit Jet leaves for Earth. THE END. One of only three stand-alone episodes. This is almost an exact repeat of the episode The Boy Who Hated Superman in The Adventures of Superman. No new tech showed off except Kip's stupid sound board which must have been more than it appeared, because it simulated deep bass and surround sound like a Boze speaker system.

The Silver Moon Experiment

2011-08-31T23:43:00.004-04:00

Rocky Jones, Space Ranger continues to air new episodes during the summer of 1954. Five in total during June. The middle of the month saw the release of a fantastic classic Sci-Fi movie called Them!. I don't think you can get a more generic name (maybe The Thing). A wonderful movie about about giant mutant ants.

Silver Needle in Space, part II- There must be only a dozen Space Rangers (and half of them seem to work for Cleolanthe) because once again an Ophiuchian rocket, the Nautilus led by Atlasande, with less than a dozen armed troops take over a space station with one Space Ranger, and some Space Ambassadors. This must be where Moon got the idea to put one man on the moon for three years at a time. On Peritane, Rocky calls XO7 to check in, and Dr. Tyson gives a verbally coded message before everyone is hustled on board the Nautilus. They then blast off for Ophiuchus. Rocky finally gets the message, cancels R&R, and heads back to XO7. It's empty. They call Drake on Earth. Cleolanthe calls everyone. Her ultimatum is to trade all the ambassadors for Griff and Darganto, both held prisoner for crimes against the United Worlds at the end of Bobby's Comet, part III. Nobody trusts her. Atlasande figures that with the return of Darganto, he'll be sidelined. Rocky demands, on behalf of Earth, the trade will be done on XO7 and no weapons present, or this is an act of war. Cleolanthe agrees, mainly because she appears too afraid of an all out war. I'm guessing that since Ophiuchus is one of the Outlaw Worlds, none of the others would back her up. Everyone arrives at the XO7 the trade the goes well, except Atlasande pulls a weapon on everyone and takes Dr. Tyson back as a trophy to remain in Cleolanthe's favor. TO BE CONTINUED. Rocky is kind of a gullible person. It turns out XO7 has weapons, but they are never once used against a threatening rocket ship. Once again I like the fallout of previous episodes and the political maneuvering of Atlasande. I believe this is the first mention of a Tractor Beam in the series, used to dock at space stations. There is a crazy magnetic periscope thingy in the control that helps ships dock.

Silver Needle in Space, part III- This is the best episode of this series so far. It's all survival in space and political maneuvering. While Atlasande explains why he's changing the prisoner exchange plan, Dr. Tyson in the background takes some sort of capsule, then gets dragged out of the Conference Room. They put a 3-hour timer on the door so Rocky and friends and ambassadors don't go anywhere. Darganto conspires with Griff to discredit Atlasande by shutting off station air, but when he returns to main group Dr. Tyson collapses dead. Darganto uses the moment to seize control of the operation and all the men follow him. He plans to tell Cleolanthe that Atlasande screwed up and killed Dr. Tyson and everyone else. After they leave Rocky and friends begin to feel the effects brought about by lack of oxygen. One them is an Army Engineer and recommends sending Bobby through a vent to the air and water recirculation room. Bobby makes it but has to smash his head into the grill on the other end to open it. With air restored he unlocks the Conference Room and everyone heads to the control area to save Ranger Anderson. On the way they find the discarded body of Tyson, who comes back to life. It turns out he used a Suspended Animation Capsule to fool the Ophiuchians. The group radios Earth on a scrambled line (sort of like dictating a fax on ticker-tape) to inform them of current events, then head home. Darganto and Atlasande arrive back on Ophiuchus and are called before Cleoplanthe. She's angry at both of them for not working together and getting all their hostages killed, Darganto insisting it was all Atlasande. She refuses to believe anything she hears when one of her other operatives lets her know they finally cracked the encrypted Space Affairs Astrophones. She's even more mad because they even failed to really kill anyone and locks both of them in the same jail cell for two months. THE END. The personal one-ups-manship between Atlasante and Darganto is quite entertaining and doesn't give much time for the writers to ruin science any more. Bobby is even helpful.

The Forbidden Moon, part I- The Office of Space Affairs loses contact with RV5, so the Orbit Jet is sent to investigate with all the main characters (including Bobby who stows away). When they arrive, there is one ship already docked and no one is answering. After docking Rocky and Winky check the other ship and experience pounding radiation coming from it. There is some dren about Anti-Radiation Serum everyone will have to take, but Rocky just goes aboard anyway. After a little while they all meet in the control room (except for Bobby who is grounded on the Orbit Jet) and find Ranger Clark in a coma. It's a radiation coma and Professor Newton needs to determine the original of radiation to recommend a treatment. The more I see the character of Newton the more terrible he becomes. All the science he spews is garbage. According to the logs and some audio recordings the radioactive ship is from Medina. The voices of the ruler, Yarra, and her brother, Agar, are heard on the recording. Rocky goes back to the Medina ship and gets his butt kicked by Agar, who was hiding all this time. Agar then steals the Orbit Jet, with Bobby on it, and heads to Medina. Back in the control room Rocky fills them in on what happened and learns that the Medina ship had crashed on the Forbidden Moon. While Agar had been trying to fix the ship he suffered severe radiation sickness, but found a local plant that not only cures you of radiation but makes you immune. It appears, though, that you become radioactive (only because the entire darn moon is radioactive). Rocky and friends take the Medina ship and follow the stolen Orbit Jet. TO BE CONTINUED. Science is bad again, this time with magnetism and radiation. After the Orbit Jet takes off from Earth all the gauges show a reverse magnetic polarization effect as soon as they go beyond Earth's magnetic field. Right after that Rocky finds Bobby hiding in the engine room with his favorite quartz rock. When he drags Bobby back to the Nav room where Vena and Newton are, he suddenly remembers that bismuth is in quartz and it is highly magnetic. Newton then spews how bismuth becomes even more powerful when it leaves the magnetic field of the Earth. I expect senile comments of dubious scientific nature from Newton, but Rocky is just making stuff up. In the real world Tetradymite has bismuth in it and can be found near hydrothermal quartz veins, but that's about their only relationship. Bismuth does have magnetic properties but it wouldn't reverse polarize a whole spaceship. I would like to point out the bismuth is sometimes used in cosmetics, and with Rocky always harassing Vena about her makeup, there's a better chance she's at fault than Bobby. The Anti-Radiation Serum must also fix DNA damage, too. Poor Ranger Clark.

The Forbidden Moon, part II- Things are almost explained better. Yarra and Agar want to take over the universe. Who doesn't in this show, but i don't think they realize how big it is, since none of the humanoid species in the series (including Humans) have left the solar system yet. They sounds stupidly grandiose. Bobby is brought to Yarra at the Rotasium Headquarters, then escorted around the grounds of the walled capital. Rocky in Agar's ship attempts to land, but an anti-spaceship weapon is trained on them. Thinking quick Bobby, who happens to be nearby, asks why he's about to shoot one of his own ships down. This is a point of contention I have in the series. The prop people built different rockets to represent different cultures. As a viewer you can pick out an Ophiuchian ship from the Orbit Jet from a Medina ship from a Fornaxian missile. But characters never recognize any design. Anyway the guy doesn't shoot his own ship down, which is good because Rocky and friends are on board. They are here to warn Yarra to quarantine Agar as a massive Cosmic Radiation source (they finally figured that part out). She doesn't believe them, throws them in jail and starts to feel radiation sickness. Bobby convinces her Rocky's telling the truth, she visits them and Newton gives her the Anti-Radiation Serum. It is temporary, though, and they still need to lock up Agar as he's beginning to affect the whole planet. Some of the palace guards lose faith with their leadership and try to mount a coup. Yarra slows them down by declaring they're going to the Forbidden Moon to find a cure and some other things. All the main characters plus Agar (who has everyone at gunpoint) and Yarra board the Orbit Jet and leave Medina. TO BE CONTINUED. They edited around a scene where Vena flirts with Milo the jailer, takes him somewhere private, knocks him out and takes his uniform. What gets me about Newton, other than his horrible science, is he never looks like he's paying that much attention, but suddenly wakes up to deliver a line of dialog. I'm happy the ray-guns in the series have stopped being props and are actually being used to shoot people, not just threaten them. They make a loud bang with lots of smoke.

The Forbidden Moon, part III- This one starts falling apart about here. On the way to the Forbidden Moon, Rocky hatches a plan and takes control of the ship back from Agar. On the visiograph they see the Forbidden Moon for the first time, glowing from Cosmic Radiation. Newton remembers he brought special ray-shielded goggles because the radiation will seep into your eyeballs and paralyze your brain. Riiiiight. Agar uses the opportunity to take over the Orbit Jet. again. After they land someone pulls out a metal detector to look for plants and a Geiger Counter (which should be useless because the entire moon is "hot"). The landscape is snow and rock, so plants stand out on the surface, but the main characters still need a sci-fi device to find one. A nearby cave provides just the shelter Newton needs to refine the plant cure and save Medina. At this point characters take off their helmets because their couldn't possible be any radiation in the cave. Agar has other plans and steals most of the collected plants, runs off in the Orbit Jet again, inoculates his crew, then plans to take over the universe. He fails to realize you need to refine the serum and everyone passes out, the ship adrift in space. With all the humans, plus Yarra, trapped on the Forbidden Moon, Newton detects a super-strong radiation source coming from a mountain next to their cave. He removes the atomic piles from their spacesuits (you mean their spacesuits are nuclear powered?) and makes a sort of detonator that creates such an explosion it will be picked up on Earth. They pretty much hide face down right next to a nuclear blast that destroys a mountain, but it works, Secretary Drake sees it. He loads up on the XV7 and heads out to save Rocky. Once they're safe XV7 hunts down the Orbit Jet, where they revive the comatose Medinans and return Yarra to her planet, no longer an evil despot. THE END. My problems with the sciences could fill a whole other blog post. I do like the exterior matte paintings of both the Forbidden Moon and Medina

It is difficult not to be hard on this show, but there is something to it I like. Even though all the rules of space fact and even modern space fiction seem to be ignored, they are at least internally consistent to themselves. There are plenty of carry-over characters from previous episodes and their ship naming follows a pattern. The uniforms seems to follow a rank structure, and decisions have consequences in the future. I find myself looking forward to seeing how Cleolanthe does without her top two men. And Griff is still alive of Ophiuchus.

The Pirates in the Sky Experiment

2011-08-30T21:44:00.004-04:00

Rocky Jones, Space Ranger is the show for May, 1954, with four new episodes. I like the fact the studio accepts having almost no budget to make the show as just an inconvenience. They are still trying to tell big stories on other planets with space battles and such. To save money all the different rockets in the show have the same interior bridge (something Star Trek is known to do). But to differentiate between them the prop people change the seat covers.

Pirates of Prah, part I- Vena (in a totally new outfit) is with Reggie, on cargo rocket CM7, on her way to see her brother, Paul. They are disabled by pirates, lose their cargo and are left to float in orbit of Cassa VII [sic] for eternity. It turns out a pirate group has been preying on cargo ships for the past week, including one from Mars known as Double M. Rocky and Winky are on vacation when they get the call Vena has dissappered. They launch with Bobby (for some reason) and a new piece of tech from Professor Newton, Cold Light. It should only be used in emergencies and emits Gamma Radiation. The Orbit Jet gets to the last known area of space CM7 broadcasted from when they come across the Double M. It shoots at them, but Winky easily destroys it. The pirates had burned off all the call letters from the tail fins of CM7, so when Rocky finds their ship he doesn't recognize it (even though it looks exactly like the Orbit Jet). All power (except gravity and life support) is out on CM7 so Vena pushes a missile through a missile tube to dump it into space. Rocky recognizes it as a sign of communication and they dock with the rocket. Now suddenly rockets have airlocks. CM7's airlock is on the bridge and we never see where the Orbit Jet's is, but at least Rocky stopped cutting through his own hull. Maybe the airlock was part of the upgrade last episode. They bring Vena back to Orbit Jet (leaving Reggie on his ship), hear her sad tale and tow it back to Cassa VII. TO BE CONTINUED. Rocky makes reference to going to the far edge of the solar system, which sounds like no one was done before. I am suddenly struck with the realization this whole show takes place in our solar system yet there are extra planets and people everywhere. Lazy Sci-Fi writers.

Pirates of Prah, part II- Cold Light is finally explained as essential a cloaking device. It emits a field of light around the Orbit Jet that makes it so cold that it becomes invisible (I'm guessing at Zero Kelvin, molecules stop moving so you can't see them). It's bad science, but it goes something like that. It doesn't make the inside cold, though. Nor does it require radiation shielding like we were warned about last episode. Everyone lands on Cassa VII, which has a way better space port than Earth, and everyone meets Paul Ray, Vena's brother. They go over some astronomy notes for the next day or so and Rocky thinks they're operating out of the planetoid Prah. No one has ever been able to land because the defenses are too great. On Prah, the pirates, Rinkman, Dr. Vanko, Markoff and some other guy, drop off all the stolen goods and call their boss, Cleolanthe. She learns that they failed to kill Rocky and she orders her second-in-command Atlasande to have them assassinated. Rocky, meanwhile, tricks Bobby and Vena into staying on Cassa VII while he and Winky blast off for Prah. They engage the Cold Light device and land on one of the pirate's landing pads. The pirates hear a ship but they don't see one. Rocky pops out and confronts the pirates but gets captured. Cleolanthe gets word they are holding Rocky prisoner, stays their execution and heads to Prah (with Atlasande). Rocky learns what he needs and escapes Prah just before Cleolanthe arrives and they both head to Cassa VII. TO BE CONTINUED. I just can't get over how repeatedly dumb all the bad guys seem to be.

Pirates of Prah, part III- This story is beginning to fall apart. Cleolanthe orders all the pirates (like about 5 people) to land on Cassa VII and take over. They have a contact, Ken, who works in space traffic control. Everyone wants Rocky's Cold Light device (something that shouldn't have been shared with everyone in the story, but Rocky has a big mouth). Ken knocks out Rocky and stashes him in his own engine room, then turns Orbit Jet invisible so everyone thinks Rocky left. Rocky gets loose and begins working against Ken and the pirates on his own. Once the pirates are on Cassa VII then kidnap Winky, Robby and Vena, planning to take them back to Ophiuchus. This way Rocky has to come to them and they'll get the Cold Light thing. Some muddled things happen which ends with Rocky and Winky beating up all the pirates, who they refer to as traitors so they must be humans, and they head back to Earth with everyone on board; Winky still trying to get a date. THE END. An okay story with some promise until the writers get in the way by the end. No new abuses of science in this episode, unless you count the continued use of Cold Light. For the first time in the series we are introduced to Martians, which I think are supposed to indigenous (not just a human colony). They seem a little barbaric but are technologically capable as we see with Haggar Nu, Ken's assistant set up as a scape goat. I forgot to mention the painful moment Winky chooses to sing, playing an instrument that looks way cooler than the space station models already in use.

Silver Needle in the Sky, part I- There is to be an Interplanet Peace Conference held in space and the crew of the Orbit Jet are tasked with taking the Space Ambassadors there. One of the few outstanding things I like about this show is the use of alien languages. Vena wants to go along as navigator and interpreter but Drake explains the conference is being held in neutral territory so the Universal Language will be spoken. I'm pretty sure that means English. They are headed to Space Station XO7 in the orbit of Peritane [sic], a planet in the Jupiter equalateral. I can only assume they mean it shares Jupiter's orbit but at a distance, and no where near Fornax, or they could have saved Rocky a lot of trouble in Bobby's Comet. There are asteroids way ahead and way behind Jupiter's orbit that are in a gravitationally stable position, so maybe that's what they intended? Winky worries about the Outlaw Planets respecting the neutrality of the conference which leads me to believe that any planet not part of the United Worlds is considered an outlaw. Not everyone is invited, either. Cleolanthe of Ophiuchus is mad (I don't blame her this time), so orders her human agent on Earth, Duveen, to blow up the Orbit Jet on the ground. A new alarm system warns the crew, they stop Duveen and then successfully blast off for XO7. Cleolanthe has a new idea and sends Atlasande to crash the conference and kidnap the ambassadors. Rocky gets everyone where they have to go and plans for a layover on Peritane for a re-fuel and some R&R. As soon as he leaves the station, Atlasande forces his way aboard and takes everyone captive. TO BE CONTINUED. Every space station in the show has only one Space Ranger crew member, but all rockets have at least two. It's good to see Rocky let Vena be the navigator (a job Winky used to do) and give the job of updating the log to Bobby. Another point I have in favor of the show is the use of uniforms, with rank stripes on the arms, but Winky and Bobby are the same rank and that's bull$#!7. They even have a unit affiliation symbol on the upper left of their uniforms, not unlike Star Trek. Each different culture on every planet also has a different planetary symbol. These are details I like. Now my big complaint I've seen throughout the series: rockets can only carry about a dozen people, yet we haven't seen a planet (except Ankapore) with more than a few people. It is so easy for the bad guys (pirates or Ophiuchians) to take over a space station or a planet with one rocket and some ray guns. This is so unrealistic, yet the writers kept moving forward as if nothing is wrong with the plot. Don't get me wrong, I still like the show.

The Comet into Space Experiment

2011-08-29T22:24:00.002-04:00

April, 1954, gave us four more Rocky Jones, Space Ranger episodes. The writers of this show are about as far from scientific accuracy as you can get. I suppose I can't blame them, because everything they're writing about is almost unknown or just speculative. This is an era where we still thought there could have been intelligent life on Mars, because those canals had to be built by someone. Right? Today we, non-scientist and non-astronomers, have access to the accumulated knowledge of half-a-century since the show aired. Then again, if this is the kind of stuff networks were showing kids then it's no wonder Sci-Fi has been looked down upon for so long. It took 2001: A Space Odyssey, Star Wars and Alien to show the true potential for the genre. As much as I complain I still like watching Rocky Jones, because every once in a while they have a good idea.

Bobby's Comet, part I- There is so much wrong with the premise of this episode I'll try to be brief. Missiles from an unknown source in space land on Earth, one near Newton's Observatory (which looks suspiciously like Griffith Observatory). Rocky and Winky are out on their own looking for Griff, even though we all saw his car explode in Behind the Curtain of Space, part III, he may have lived. Rocky is recalled to face this new menace. It is explained by Vena that by back tracking the ellipses (their word for "orbit") of the missiles they originate on Fornax, a moon of Jupiter. This is surprising because their current science says there's no life on that moon. They begin to describe a world that actually sounds like Io, but with a people adept at using crystal technology (sadly not in the way of Kryptonian tech). The Space Ranger fleet is alerted to the new threat, but on one of the stations Griff is in fact alive and holding the one crew member at gun point. He learns Rocky is planning a trip to Fornax and leaves to intercept him. The Orbit Jet crew assembles and boards, taking all the main characters. After clearing Earth orbit Griff attacks them (because nobody but Vena ever looks at a RADAR); Rocky manages to cripple his engines. But they wasted a lot of fuel in the fight, so they have three options; go back to Earth and refuel, go to station RV5 for fuel, or just go there and hope they find a civilization advanced enough to give them fuel. They unanimously choose the latter. It makes for a better cliffhanger I guess. They arrive and find a place to land on the planet near some artificial structures, burning their remaining fuel on a moon with twice Earth gravity. TO BE CONTINUED. Just a thought; wouldn't it have been faster to send someone already in space, then going through the time and expense of launching from Earth? Things wrong with science: Newton gets meteors and comets confused, as well as not really caring that one is about to hit the Earth; Rocky does a 180 degree turn with the Orbit Jet and flies through its own sound wave to wake up a napping Winky (What?). To be fair, he was flying in what looked like atmosphere, but he was supposed to be in space; There is no such moon as Fornax anywhere, it's a constellation; There is never an attempt by the crew to wear a space suit while on board, Professor Newton even wears a top hat; The launch of the Orbit Jet has to be pull more g's to get to Jupiter in one go, but the crew blacks-out at just over 4g's. The average human blacks-out at over 5g's, but if only the crew would at least put a G-Suit on they could go up to 9g's. If you are lying on your back during a rocket launch you can handle up to 17g's without losing consciousness. Winky almost kills everyone because the Orbit Jet has an auto-pilot lift-off routine, which he accidentally turns off when he blacks-out, wakes up, then blacks-out again; The Office of Space Affairs has a map of the solar system that is just a non-moving picture on the wall, yet they plan all their navigation routes from it, like the solar system isn't in motion; Since they run their rockets during the entire mission wasting fuel anyway, there is no reason for a such a dramatic blast-off.

Bobby's Comet, part II- On the surface of Fornax we see a new piece of tech, the Mechanical Canary. I assume the name is meant to reference the use of a canary in a coal mine as an early warning of bad air. The Mechanical Canary is an atmospheric sensor suite that deploys from the side of the ship. The data is relayed to a panel on the Bridge near the door. From the visiograph they see strange pyramidal shaped buildings. The atmosphere is breathable so they all take a walk to the first pyramid with a door in it. The door opens and out comes Zoravac, leader of the Fornaxians, and an old rival of Newton, Professor Cardos. Zoravac has been hosting Cardos on the moon for eight years since he crashed landed, and gets all of his knowledge of the United Worlds from him. Zoravac even claims the only way to get the attention of Earth was to shoot a missile at it, I'm guessing because the Space Ranger radio system doesn't extend to Jupiter orbit. Everyone seems friendly but Rocky takes Winky back to the ship. Using the visiograph he spies on everyone, with an X-Ray vision setting that also includes audio, they watch Vena try out some local fashions and catches Cardos hatching a plan with Zoravac. Rocky and Winky head back the pyramid and get in a fight while overhearing Cardos' plans. Zoravac has been lead to believe humans from Earth are evil and want war, but Rocky's offer of friendship intrigues him, so he shares the fuel system they use on their missiles to help get the Orbit Jet back into space. The test flight works and Rocky takes Winky and Zoravac to Earth, leaving Vena, Newton and Bobby on Fornax. TO BE CONTINUED. More bad science, but at least a visually interesting moon. Fornax has twice Earth gravity (in other words 2g's) but the only effect on the main characters is getting out of breath while running around. Rocky makes an insulting joke to Vena that she's putting on weight and to go check on the cargo scales. She's shocked to find out she weighs 236 pounds. Then they laugh at her. All of them should feel heavy, but they don't. The three rooms are laid out along the length of the rocket, but even when it's vertical the room's gravity always points toward the deck plating. So artificial gravity must be on at all times or everyone would fall to the back of the rocket. But then, while vertical on Fornax, Vena weighs herself, which doesn't work either. The only way I can justify this is to say the interior is actually gyroscopically balanced for gravitational environments and rotates around the middle room where the "airlock" is. Artificial gravity must only be used for space.

Bobby's Comet, part III- The Orbit Jet makes it to Earth and Zoravac meets with Secretary Drake. On Ophiuchus, Cleolanthe meets with Darganto, her right-hand man, and Griff about Fornax and the power their crystals hold. They want to get their own ship there and plant a flag before the United Worlds can. With the Fornaxian leader on Earth, Darganto's crew, including Griff, land on Fornax and take it over. Cardos sees an opportunity and joins the invading force (totally about half a dozen). Bobby has been hanging out with Zoravac's daughter, Volaca, and since the Ophiuchians didn't lock up the Space Rangers, he realizes they'll ignore a couple kids running around. A deal has been made on Earth, so Rocky and Winky launch in the Orbit Jet to deal with a new missile threat before taking Zoravac home. Meanwhile, Bobby manages to grab their portable astrophone (which is a real-time, wireless space communication system) and hide out with Volaca. He calls Rocky to warn him what's transpiring on Fornax. The Ophiuchians finish loading power crystals on their ship, the WOV, when the Orbit Jet enters the atmosphere and shoots at it. The crystals are unstable and blowup the ship, killing all bad guys, except Darganto, Griff and Cardos. Once Rocky lands he takes them all captive and leaves Fornax with all the main characters on board (and I assume the prisoners). THE END. I wish the show had more budget so we could see more of the alien civilizations and maybe aliens that aren't human.

Escape into Space- This one has a promising start but descends into stupidity really quick. Truck Harmon, an Earth criminal, and his accomplice, Lawson, escape into space by stealing rocket R74 in front of the Office of Space Affairs. When Secretary Drake calls Rocky and Winky at home, the latter is going through his black book looking for a date. Eventually Drake gets through and tells Rocky what's up. This is his chance to catch Harmon, because running away into space puts him in Space Ranger jurisdiction. But the Orbit Jet is being repaired and upgraded, so it won't be ready until noon the next day. The next day they chase Truck to Fornax, but first, both ships get caught in a meteor storm. Harmon calls for help and locks Lawson in a damaged part of the ship where he suffocates to death. Rocky breaks more laws of science and gets Truck aboard the Orbit Jet. For some reason the closest place to land turns out to be Fornax. When they get there Rocky has a meeting with Zoravac and makes up a whole bunch of shazbot about losing custody of Harmon due to local laws. Bobby forced himself into the crew rotation just in case he could meet his new girlfriend from the last couple episodes, Volaca. Some time has passed since the last episode because the Fornax people actually had a Christmas to correspond to the Earth calendar, and now Bobby tells Volaca it's October. Fornax is really drinking the Earth Kool-Aid. Since it's near Halloween, Bobby teachers her about ghosts and scaring people, when Rocky remembers Harmon is superstitious. In the dumbest thing I've scene yet in the show Rocky takes a remote control ghost toy from Volaca and proceeds to fly it around Harmon, all the while hiding in the background, pretending to be the voice of Lawson. And it works, Harmon confesses. Rocky arrests them and they leave for Earth. THE END. One of a very few stand-alone episodes. I like the Fornax continuity and that's about it. There is no big deal now about launching from Earth to Fornax, which I assume is part of the crystal tech upgrade all Space Ranger rockets would get in the new treaty from last episode. Here is my big science complaint for the episode. Even though all rockets in the show have an external hatch there is no way for one ship to dock with another. For Rocky to get to Harmon in the R74, he magnetically clamps to the ship so his engine room hull touches the navigation room hull of the other. He then dons an actual spacesuit and proceeds to blowtorch a hole, first in the Orbit Jet's hull, then into R74's hull. Once he crosses through he has Winky vent all the atmosphere from Orbit Jet's nav room into its engine room to force air into R74's nav room. Once he grabs Harmon and all the money he's stolen in his career (leaving the dead body of Lawson), they cross back over to the Orbit Jet and Rocky has to re-weld the hull. That's how dumb this episode is.

I have mentioned before that some characters on different planets seem to drive the same car. I think there is only one car model left in the future that everyone (even aliens) drive, and it is a 1953 Grantham Stardust. There must be weather modification technology on all these planets because that car is a convertible.

The Beyond the Lagoon Whistling Around Rocky's Experiment

2011-08-28T23:08:00.006-04:00

Today's blog post is all about March, 1954. The Adventures of Superman ends season two (with two episodes), and Rocky Jones, Space Ranger becomes the new series to watch (with five episodes). Superman won't be back for season three until over a year later in 1955. By then it will be in color. One of the rules of this blog I have mentioned in the past isn't just about watching a TV series but doing it in chronological order, by air date. This doesn't necessarily synchronize with episode production, but most TV at the time was stand-alone, anyway, with a status quo being met by the end. In other words, it doesn't matter what order you see it in. Rocky Jones did have a sense of production continuity as characters came and went and plots ebbed and flowed. However, by the air dates established on Wikipedia they were first broadcast out of order. This may not matter in the long run but I wanted to come clean in case any reader sees a chronology and wonders why I'm not watching it in that order. Did I forget to mention Creature from the Black Lagoon was released in theaters during the first week of March? It's a monster movie, so it counts as Sci-Fi.

Beyond the Curtain of Space, part II- Rocky Jones and friends leave fuel station RV5 fully repaired and enter the Ophiuchus system to fake an SOS, so they can land and find Professor Newton (and Bobby). After Winky trashes the starboard engine they land and are greeted by Cleolanthe, the Suzerain of Ophiuchus (oh-FEE-shus). She has secretly brain washed Newton to get something out of him, as well as threatened bodily harm to Bobby and a good brainwashing. Cleolanthe allows Rocky and Winky to see their friends so they'll be convinced they want to stay. None of the Space Rangers buys it, so Rocky takes Bobby back the Orbit Jet to shake him out of it. Bobby wants nothing to do with them and leaves with Vena. On the way back to Newton, Bobby snaps out of it and needs to talk to Rocky. Cleolanthe has another meeting with Rocky because the brain washing memory messer-upper machine is in her office. He tries to use it but Vena interrupts and Rocky runs out. He beats up all the guards, and learns from one of them the name of the person in the Space Rangers who ratted them out. Rocky then gets Newton, Bobby and Vena to the Orbit Jet and blasts off back to Earth, but doesn't think they're in the clear. TO BE CONTINUED. We see ray guns that aren't fired and the brain washing machine is a globe on the wall that glows. There is a nice touch that some characters speak Ophiuchian and they need Vena to translate, but for the most part, they also speak English. The Office of Space Affairs classifies the region as the Ophiuchus Formation, where ship communications are lost. This effect is referred to as going "through the curtain". The operation to rescue Professor Newton is called Haystack, and encrypted communications between space stations and Earth Headquarters are done by ticker-tape. Commander Drake is the head of Space Affairs.. I wish this show would better explain the locations of all these systems, but I like the space opera. Also, you don't need to keep burning rocket fuel once you're in space. The writers didn't think about momentum and inertia. I like the design for station RV5, it is a spinning ring (for artificial gravity) with an axial docking port for two rockets.

Creature from the Black Lagoon- An expedition in the Amazon, led by Dr. Maia, uncovers a fossil of a clawed hand from the Devonian period. Something that points to a link between sea and land creatures. Maia heads back to civilization, leaving behind someone to watch the dig site. At a marine biology institute he is able to drum up interest for a second expedition to look for the rest of the skeleton. With lots of talk about what humanity could learn from studying evolution like this the new expedition is green lit. They new group boards the Rita, headed for the Amazon. When they arrive on site, the man left behind has been killed by something with big with claws. They spend time digging in the rock face but find nothing more. The group is about to head back when the ship's captain, Lucas, says there's a body of water in the area, known as the Black Lagoon, where they might find more evidence of fossils on the bottom. Over the next couple days of diving, collecting and analyzing, the group encounters a new humanoid aquatic creature that can breath underwater and on land. It is highly aggressive, but curious about the one woman they brought, Kay. To defend themselves against what they call the gill-man, Lucas offers up some poison, Rotenone, he uses to fish. It has little effect on the gill-man but paralyzes all the fish. After loosing a few people, they capture the gill-man, but it escapes, so the group tries to leave the lagoon. They find a large tree has been dropped across the only exit. They have a winch system to move the log, but the gill-man sabotages every attempt. Armed with spear guns the group chases it into an underwater lair (with a cave leading to the surface). Finally the gill-man captures Kay and the remaining members of the group chase it back to the lair and shoot it. Wounded, the gill-man crawls back to the lagoon and sinks to the inky bottom.

A much better movie than I remember (and streaming in HD on Netflix). Not much Sci-Fi other than a half-billion year-old humanoid species still living in an uncharted part of the world. The implication being that evolution stopped with the fully amphibious gill-man species (a Devonian?) and the one in this movie is the last of its kind. Maybe it was looking for a mate? It has a huge healing factor, as it is able to heal from two spear gun wounds, at least three exposures to Rotenone, and being lit on fire. It takes a number of bullet wounds, including one in the head, to make it run off, where it sinks into the lagoon, presumable dead. It only clawed the crap out of one person, everyone else it basically choked out. Filmed very well above water, sometimes the underwater scenes get murky and boring. The gill-man suit underwater, though, is amazing. I was absorbed just watching it move. The best moment of this movie is when Kay takes a swim in the lagoon and the gill-man follows her. It swims underneath her just watching, then careful tries to touch her. Following that she gets back aboard the Rita, and the gill-man (in pursuit) gets caught in a fishing net. The whole boat rocks and creaks as they try to reel it in, but it escapes leaving a piece of it behind. An impressive moments that were made ten times more terrifying in Jaws.

The Whistling Bird- Professor Quinn, from The Machine That Could Plot Crimes, is back with a new invention. He is still stupidly absent minded, but aware that some people might want his formula for a new kind of flavored stamp glue. This is something that Willie Wonka might want, but not international governments. Even though the formula is supposed to be a secret, Nancy, his niece, tells Clark and Jimmy to come over and witness the first test. At the lab Quinn tells Clark someone stole a copy of the formula but he left out a key ingredient that he taught to Skylar the parakeet. When he rings a bell Skylar quotes a needed part. Quinn has Clark test a stamp by licking it, which Clark claims tastes good, but when he slams (super-slams) it on an envelope it explodes violently destroying the lab, tossing everyone around but leaving them unhurt. I'm guess Clark absorbed most the blast. Quinn declares the formula a failure, but Clark says he's contacting the government to classify the new explosive. This is what the bad guys really want, but how did they know the formula would turn out to be explosive (bad writing I say)? By the way, I hate the Quinn character, mainly because he's written for kids but everyone in the story takes him seriously. Jimmy takes a group photo, and later back at The Daily Planet, develops it to find people looking in a window. Clark knows these are the bad guys, but where to ind them. Quinn takes Skylar for a walk and meets a lady who takes an interest in the bird. Clark comes along and distracts Quinn, while the lady swaps Skylar for another parakeet. The bad guys don't know how to make Skylar talk so they head back to Quinn's lab. There they learn about the bell, get the formula and lock Quinn, Nancy and Jimmy in a secret lead-lined room (a Gamma Radiation test chamber) to suffocate in an hour. Jimmy uses a match to set off the fire alarm, but the room being air-tight begins to flood. Superman flies in and saves them by going through the ceiling (it seems the lead in the room had no effect on the plot). Quinn realizes his formula is unstable and will explode on its own, so Superman drinks it. Skylar then says "El Dorado" which means the bad guys ran to a ghost town upstate. Superman flies up there, finds the bad guys, rescues them as their hideout explodes, and then has them arrested. In the end Skylar is brought into Clark's office and the bird calls him Superman. kind of a dumb episode, with a dumb character, but the bad guys were all right.

Beyond the Curtain of Space, part III- Rocky Jones is escaping the Ophiuchus Formation, but Cleolanthe hits them with a long range magnetic weapon to scramble their controls, aiming them at an unseen moon. They decide to save energy (I think) by turning off their viewer. Lena is ordered to take care of Professor Newton and Bobby as well as take a log entry about the traitor, Griff, in the Office of Space Affairs. I don't now how Rocky is the best Space Ranger because he treats Vena like a piece of meat and almost fails to notice they're going to hit a moon. Anyway, they don't crash, and Vena gets some praise for saving them. Cleolanthe fails to get them before the XV2, aka Orbit Jet, gets to station RV5. They send a fake message to Earth to lull the traitor into a false sense of security. But an Ophiuchian ship (WOA or WAO or something) warns Griff who takes Secretary Drake hostage and plans to blow up the landing platform. The Orbit Jet lands, some people get in a fist fight, and Rocky saves the day. In fact, he saves the day by hitting the self destruct of Drake's official government car and killing Griff. THE END. The SOP for flying in space is really shoddy. I don't know how Rocky Jones has lasted as long as he has. He reminds me of Zapp Brannigan from Futurama (or the other way around). Drake has his own official car which looks exactly like the official Ophiuchian capitol car. It must be an Earth import. The show continues to make a point that Vena is a girl who doesn't belong in space and she fights for her role every time. The exterior of the landing pad on Earth appears to be power plant, which works for the look of the show. You can definitely see the Sci-Fi movie serial roots in this series. I still like the show for some reason.

Around the World with Superman- This has to be my least favorite episode to date. It's a real kid-oriented story about a blind girl who wants her parents back together. The Daily Planet is holding a contest where the best letter written from a child, on why he/she should fly around the world with Superman, will win. This little girl is blind and wants her mom to go around the world. She doesn't believe in Superman, but she thinks it's okay for her mom to fly. Ridiculous. Plus, that's outside of the rules and the mom flips out over all the publicity. Other papers, like The Blade, get wind of the little girl, so Perry White is forced to write an article about the winning entry (including name and address), or lose the news race. Clark is obsessed with helping her out and goes so far as to have Lois distract the mom while he X-Ray scans her optic nerve. You see, she's blind because her dad had an accident and she was hurt. The dad took it bad and left the family, going so far as harassing the mom with a lawyer (which she runs from). This character drama is so forced and doesn't make sense under analysis. Anyway, Superman sees a shard of glass on her optic nerve and takes her to a hospital for an operation, staying in the operating room to guide the doctor. It works, and the only interesting part happens when we actually see Superman fly around the world in two hours. He hits the hot spots of London, Paris, Vienna, a random middle-eastern desert, the Himalayas, Japan, San Francisco, the Grand Canyon and back to Metropolis. Let's do the math. He never landed once, but stayed low enough for her to breath. The Earth is almost 8,000 miles in diameter. He had to be going roughly 4,000mph (or the Hypersonic speed of Mach 6). And he went all over the place making his trip longer. He must have some kind of friction barrier around him that protects the girl. The writers were trying to pull at heart-strings and it just comes of as schmaltzy, which was probably the intention.

Rocky's Odyssey, part I- Lot's of Sci-Fi stuff in this one and not a lot that makes sense. The Orbit Jet, with Rocky, Winky, Vena, Professor Newton and Bobby, encounter an atmosphere in space with a lightning storm. No planet detected just atmosphere. Rocky goes out on a limb using science and supposes that there are two Gypsy Moons (I think he means planets, not moons, without a star to orbit), and were once much closer, sharing an atmosphere. They have since drifted part but an Atmosphere Chain still connects them. Newton agrees when they are attacked by an airplane. Instead of shooting them down Rocky has the Orbit Jet leave the atmosphere for space. The airplane can't follow and heads back to a moon. Bobby, who is forced to read The Odyssey, says they have to explore and be just like Ulysses. Rocky agrees and upon attempting to land are forced down outside a walled city, by a magnetic beam that won't allow them to leave. Several indigenous people board the Orbit Jet, and through the use of a ticker-tape translator (and Vena, too) they are able to learn each others' language. The moon is called Posita and they are at war with another moon, Negato. The two people Rocky and Vena happen to be talking to are King Bovaro and his Queen Cotanda. Bovaro demands they carry a doomsday bomb that will destroy Negato because the Orbit Jet can use it successfully from space; something neither of these peoples can do. They take Vena prisoner and exile the rest to the hills until they agree. Winky fires several rockets at the city walls with no effect. Bobby explains to Rocky the point of the Trojan Horse, so everyone leaves, Bovaro thinks no one is aboard, and Rocky and Winky sneak back in their ship. Sure enough Bovaro has the Orbit Jet moved into the city and the Rocky/Winky duo save Vena. TO BE CONTINUED. Science is so bad here but you kind of get caught up in the action. The fist fights are epic. I also like the name of the main screen, the Visiograph. They appear to have moved the RADAR to the Bridge finally. Did I mention before that the Orbit Jet has wings for atmospheric travel?

Rocky's Odyssey, part II- Something went screwy with the plot between last episode and this one so I'll skip it. Apparently they've been gone so long search parties have given up, having been declared dead. Secretary Drak makes a system-wide speech to this effect; even Cleolanthe hears it. Meanwhile, Rocky has everyone aboard the Orbit Jet, but can't take off because of the magnetic beam on top of damage to the electric parts of the engine. Bovaro offers to fix it if only Rocky will destroy Negato. It seems there used to be a single planet, named Electro, but once the people (Electronians?) harnessed electricity something went wrong and the planet split in two, becomin the moons, Posita and Negato. Strangely an airplane very similar in design to the Posita airplane from last episode broadcasts some bizarre music. Bozaro takes over the Orbit Jet long enough to shoot it down, then explains the music drains a man's soul and will to fight or some crap. Rocky accepts Bozaro's offer to fix the Orbit Jet but only if he has the chance to negotiate peace between the two people and get them to join the United Worlds of the Solar System. Bozaro agrees and the Orbit Jet heads to Negato. It also has a walled city exactly like Posita. (Get it positive and negative?). During the trip Bobby explains the part of The Odyssey where Ulysses meets the Sirens. He stuffs cotton in the ears of his men to protect them. Rocky devises the space solution by using their space helmets with the audio cord pulled out, except Rocky who for some reason wants to hear. As soon as they step outside the Orbit Jet, Rocky loses his mind and runs aimlessly all over the city to a woman standing on a roof top. Winky, Vena, Newton and Bobby chase him down and pull his audio cord. Then they grab a guy standing outside the gates and kidnap him back to the ship. Once free of the Negato Music he agrees to a peace between the people. Bobby also points out in his book that while Ulysses is away from home people take advantage of his absence. To mirror this Cleolanthe makes a soundboard of Rocky Jones catch phrases to use against the United Worlds. TO BE CONTINUED. It bugs me Rocky has the smartest scientist in the United Words on board and he never asks him to help in any situation. Maybe the scientist can figure out how to break a magnetic tractor beam, or how the Negato Music works. Rocky just comes up with ideas and Newton agrees with him. The writers named him NEWTON; he's supposed to be smart!

Rocky's Odyssey, part III- To finish out The Odyssey metaphor, Rocky must contend with coming home and the plots revolving around his absence. Once the Orbit Jet makes it into United World space they pick up a false message of Rocky Jones (being broadcast by Cleolanthe) asking Secretary Drake to attend a fake summit at the free moon Ankapore. Rocky can't break through the transmission so he takes Bobby's suggestion from The Odyssey again, head to the planet disguised as beggars and get close enough to Drake to save him. They all arrive at Ankapore; Rocky and friends as beggars, Cleolanthe and Atlasande as Vena and Rocky respectively, Drake and Higgins as themselves. Cleolanthe has a plan to use her brain-washing machine on Drake. This will make him pliable enough to agree to release several United Worlds planets to the Ophiuchians. Rocky and friends spend some time getting close to Higgens in the market square and bring him up to speed. Very quickly Rocky is able to tip the tide in his favor and save Drake. After Rocky beats up all the Ophiuchians it isn't clear what happens to Cleolanthe. Winky is happy that they survived their adventure just like Ulysses. But Bobby reminds him that everyone except Ulysses died in the book, so Winky shuts up. This is my favorite episode of the day. It was far clearer and didn't rely on bad science. THE END.

The Superman Rocky Jones Experiment

2011-08-27T23:15:00.005-04:00

February, 1954, debuts a new show: Rocky Jones, Space Ranger. This new show is more of a proper Sci-Fi series (but still meant for kids) as it involves rockets traveling between planets, artificial gravity, alien races (that look human), etc. It aired during the final week of February and takes over after The Adventures of Superman ends its second season the following month. But more of that tomorrow (assuming I don't lose power from Hurricane Irene).

The Golden Vulture- A crazy sea captain of the S.S. Golden Vulture, a salvage ship, is running a racket. Stolen gold is brought on board at night, disguised as crates of food. A special smelting room is run by a jeweler with a criminal record. His job is to melt down the gold and make doubloons, necklaces and cutlery that would look like treasure dredged out of the Caribbean. It is then sold to museums as authentic because they pay better than the black market. One of the crewman has a problem with this, and puts a message in a bottle asking for help. Jimmy Olsen finds it while fishing and gets Lois and Clark involved. The note was ruined but Clark could read the ship's name. Lois scoops Clark and takes Jimmy to the ship where the captain becomes paranoid and captures them. Jimmy stupidly lets it out that a crewman tipped them off, so he's captured and put in irons. Clark uncovers the conspiracy and heads over, first as Clark and then Superman, beating everyone up. The most interesting part of the episode happens when Clark takes his glasses of to fight and gets mixed up with Lois and Jimmy. They don't seem to notice in the dark, but he's supposed to be "mild mannered" so he stops fighting. They make him walk the plank, which gives him the perfect opportunity to change underwater. All is saved, but I wonder if Jimmy kept the fake doubloon he was handed. It's still made out of real gold.

Jimmy Olsen, Boy Editor- Perry White is having a bad dream that Jimmy Olsen is the editor of The Daily Planet. When he gets to work, it turns out that Metropolis is having a youth day for 24 hours where young people take the big responsible positions to learn them. It's a really dumb idea (that Superman oversees) but the episode plays out well enough with Jimmy in charge of the paper. It is also mentioned that the Mayor and Chief of Police are replaced as well. Jimmy knows that almost seven years ago a group of thugs robbed a bank, but there wasn't enough evidence to convict. In 24 hours the statute of limitations is up and they can't be prosecuted. Jimmy runs a false story to bait them, which works; all three barge into the his office at gun point. These are some dumb frakking criminals. Clark does some creative stuff and gets a live audio feed to the office where he and Perry listen to the standoff. The criminals think if they just wait until midnight they're free, but Jimmy reminds them they're up to gun charges now, and there is no way they're getting away. Superman secretly uses a gas in the vent system to knock them all out and Jimmy gets all the credit for catching them. Bank Robbery is 20 - 30 years, but Gun Possession is 1 year. It turns out The Daily Planet had a list of all the serial numbers of the $2,000,000 they stole and the thugs were dumb enough to bring the money with them. A dumb idea that's fun to watch. I think Clark left Jimmy and Lois as hostages just to see what Jimmy was made of. I wish this had been a dream episode.

Lady in Black- This is something else that seemed like a dream. Jimmy is back living with his mom. She goes on vacation with a friend of hers and Jimmy offers to watch the friend's apartment. At night he reads a mystery novel, The Lady in Black, and it spooks him. Also, thumping in the basement and a weird eyeball painting is also freaking him out. He gets the superintendent, goes to the basement to investigate and gets knocked out for his troubles. He wakes up on the couch and calls Clark, who shows up immediately. The superintendent explains Jimmy whacked his head on a beam and heard a cat, named Timmy, hunting for mice. Clark doesn't believe Jimmy's version of events and leaves. The next morning Jimmy heads to work and has a strange run in with several people; a man with a scar on his face, a black-veiled woman with an accent, and a man with a package. The lady hands Jimmy the package filled with money and someone throws a dagger at him. Jimmy loses his mind, but when he calls Clark the line goes dead. He then checks with the superintendent who lies dead on the floor. Superman shows up but finds nothing wrong and claims Jimmy is crying wolf. That night, terrified, he calls Clark one last time to listen to the noises over the phone. Since Clark has super-hearing he finally learns what the sounds really are. Superman shows up to stop a counterfeit painting ring that was operating out of the basement with the blessing of the superintendent. Not the best episode by plot, but Jack Larson nails the Jimmy Olsen role. The more ridiculous the characters become the better Jimmy reacts to them. He is the entertainment of the episode.

Beyond the Curtain of Space, part I- For a pilot episode there is no real character introduction, except Vena. The episode is also all over the place with lots of technobabble and alien names. Space stations and rocket ships all have alphanumeric codes, to make it all sound futuristic. Rocky Jones is a Space Ranger, which means he has the XV2 (a rocket) and a sidekick, Winky (the worst character name ever). He is of course the best Space Ranger in the fleet, run by the Office of Space Affairs. The two just finished a big mission and are being given two months leave, but a top Earth scientist, Professor Newton (and his ward, Bobby), defects to the Ophiuchus system. Rocky thinks he's being coerced and wants to mount a rescue mission. Vena Ray is an alien liaison (or something) who agrees with Rocky. She is an accomplished navigator and speaks 27 alien languages. Rocky doesn't want a girl in space with him and proceeds the rest of the episode to be as chauvinistic as humanly possible. Vena bites back every time and eventually gets put on the crew. They launch to the Ophiuchus system but must fuel up on the way. Someone back at headquarters is feeding the bad guys in space intel on Rocky, who intercept the Orbit Jet. But Vena is the only one with a RADAR and warns Rocky who, disables the other rocket ship. They then continue to fueling station RV5. But they took a hit and the engine room is venting air. Vena tries to help but gets sealed in the engine room. Rocky and Winky put on space helmets (not suits, just helmets) and have to blow-torch their way back in to the engine room. (I'm guessing because the ship's computer wouldn't voluntarily open a door into vacuum.) They save her and make it to RV5. This is my favorite episode of the day. TO BE CONTINUED.

Star of Fate- I don't know where to begin. Ahmed, an Egyptian (who doesn't look like it), holds an auction for a mysterious lead wrapped box. Lois and Clark are present to witness and the two bidders are Whitlock, a curio shop owner, and Barnak, who has his own plans. Barnak eventually wins the bid with $10,000. Clark thinks something's up and goes back to The Daily Planet. As Barnak leaves, Whitlock warns him there's a curse on the box and not to open it. Barnak agrees but his secretary opens it later and collapses. Whitlock steals the box, but an employee of his opens it and collapses. Both of them fight back and forth over it until Superman gets involved and takes the box to The Daily Planet. Lois doesn't believe in curses and opens it. She collapses, too. Clark opens it and catches a poison needle that he gives to a hospital to analyze. Inside the box is a huge gem and a clue to an antidote. There is a plant at the base of the Egyptian Pyramids that needs collecting. Superman goes to Egypt and actually lifts part of a Pyramid to get at the plant. Meanwhile Jimmy isn't satisfied with the outcome, so he threatens Barnak with calling the police. He pulls a gun on Jimmy, who gets stuffed in a sarcophagus. Superman saves him, gets Barnak, and everyone is saved at the hospital. There was also something about a dead Professor of archeology, but that was dropped, too. A so-so episode.

Rocky Jones, Space Ranger is an interesting show to watch today. Incredibly primitive and aimed at kids, but it takes itself just seriously enough I can enjoy it. The pre-Sputnik era is in full effect. The most successful rocket designs of the time were the German V-1 and V-2 from World War II. This was the template for the rocket program, which NASA will eventually inherit, and also the template for Sci-Fi. Either you have a flying saucer or a rocket ship, that's it for classic Sci-Fi. It was also assumed that rockets are reusable and would just land on their tails to be refueled. If you can get over this, Rocky Jones is watchable. The XV2 was also the precursor to a lot of tech that will show up in future TV series, like Star Trek. They have a front-facing view screen, automatic doors, artificial gravity, real time space communication, and I think the rocket is supposed to be atomic powered. One of the most interesting ideas in the pilot episode was the hull breach in the engine room. Rocky couldn't see it at first so he hit a button, a balloon popped out and was pulled right to the hole in the hull. (I think Mission to Mars did the same thing with Dr. Pepper.) They didn't have anything to repair it with so Rocky sealed the door, but a great idea. I guess duct tape hadn't been invented yet. For poor ship design I have no idea why the RADAR is not on the bridge. The whole navigation suite (with paper charts) are in a room between the bridge and main engineering. Vena has to keep running back and forth to get any work done; really inefficient, and almost got them killed.

The Clown Hated Semi-Private Perry the Wrecker Experiment

2011-08-26T21:00:00.004-04:00

The brand new year of 1954 will finally have something new to watch other than The Adventures of Superman. But first January brings out five new episodes.

The Clown Who Cried- No clowns cried in the making of this episode. But they were sure hurt. The Daily Planet is holding a telethon for children to raise $500,000. Clark Kent has the idea of getting Rollo the clown from a local circus to perform. Rollo's ex-partner, Crackers, is hard up for money, and sees an opportunity. He knocks out Rollo and impersonates him, fooling Jimmy Olsen long enough to walk into a trap. Jimmy is held by the strong-man, Hercules. Superman saves him and gets to prove who is stronger by wrapping a barbel around the strongman. Even after meeting Crackers dressed like Rollo (he beat the real Rollo in the head, tied him up and stuffed him under a cot), Clark doesn't recognize him. Maybe he stopped relying on voice recognition since he was fooled in The Man with the Lead Mask. Later on the telethon has been hosted by Clark for 22 hours and they haven't raised half the money. They bring out a Chinese magician, Son Lo Tiu (who I'm pretty sure wasn't actually even Asian, but that might have been part of the act), and then sends in the clown, "Rollo". Crackers used to be a clown and the stunt work for the performance was pretty good. Even falling backwards off 20-foot high scaffolding. For some reason all the money being raised was going straight to the studio, which gives him the chance to pull a real gun and steal all the money. By this time Rollo has freed himself (which was supposed to be a painful experience but I laugh at clowns misfortunes) and tangles with Crackers on the streets. The cops who know one of the clowns has a gun back off and Superman enters the scene. I don't think I've ever seen a rooftop fight between clowns, but both fall off and Superman only saves one, letting Crackers die from the impact. I had hoped for a Joker reference, but it was to much to ask. This is an okay episode with a premise that doesn't quite work, and I hate clowns. Rest assured, when Superman shows up at the telethon all the money is raised

The Boy Who Hated Superman- This is an annoying episode. It involves a disillusioned teenager, Frankie (who looks to be in his 20s); the nephew of a gangster, Duke Dillon, recently arrested by Superman while trying to leave the country. The whole thing is based on an article Clark wrote and some evidence he has for the police (who never seem to do their job). On a side note, it must be common knowledge among the criminals that Superman only works in America, unless he helps Scotland Yard. Back to the story. A judge is trying to straighten Frankie's attitude out; he's too used to the gangster life. Clark thinks it would be a good idea for Frankie to live with him for a while. This is odd because Clark is already letting Jimmy room with him (since when?) and hopes Jimmy will be a good influence for Frankie. Frankie wants nothing to do with Clark, but then comes to the conclusion if he gets close enough he can find the evidence from the article and change things. To do this, and bust his uncle out, he needs to raise a bunch of money. He also stupidly tries to get Jimmy in on it. Jimmy agrees and starts overacting to a painful level, until Clark starts yelling at him to cut the crap. By the way, Jimmy has his own office, when did he start sharing with Clark? Anyway, Jimmy says he was pretending so he could figure out Frankie's motives. Eventually a double-cross is exposed and Frankie learns his uncle had no intention of leaving the country with his nephew. This causes an instant change of heart and Superman intervenes to stop the prison break. For the most part there isn't much continuity between episodes, but there is a nice reference in this one to Tony's diner from My Friend Superman.

Semi-Private Eye- It's Jimmy Olsen's turn to act the fool in this episode. Private Eye stories were a much bigger deal back in the '50s, but it just looks antiquated today. But, it did give Jack Larson some range to act by hamming it up way to much as a Private Eye. There is a real PI in the story, Homer Garrity, who is being targeted by the person his client sent him to find. An attempt on Homer's life fails when Superman saves his life from a falling brick chimney. Back to The Daily Planet offices Clark makes a slip during a conversation with Perry, and suddenly Lois and Jimmy have a flash of insight that only Clark must be Superman. The best part of this episode is Lois' plan to catch Clark in his deception. She hollows out a phone book and puts in 50 pounds of lead. Jimmy plants it on Clark's desk, with a lot of effort, than leaves the room. Clark comes in, and not paying any attention to his desk, pulls out his own phone book. He sees the one Jimmy planted and throws it in a corner, leaving the normal one in its place. Lois and Jimmy come in to ask Clark for the phone book. Clark then grabs the real phone book with ease and throws it at Lois, who reacts beautifully. They don't get their proof. Lois is so mad she hires Homer to follow Clark around, but she gets kidnapped by the people that tried to kill the PI earlier. Jimmy decides this is the time to pretend to be a PI and flubs it by getting captured, too. Superman is able to figure out what's going on and saves everyone. He displays a new power by being able to suck poison gas out of the air that was intended to kill Lois, Jimmy and Homer. Actually, if not for Jimmy this would have been a decent episode. I hate when main characters start acting stupidly to further a plot (see Rescue).

Perry White's Scoop- This one makes up for all the other one's I watched today. Perry White is angry that all the news his reporters are investigating always seems to end with Superman saving the day. Back in his day there was no Superman. So when someone wearing a diving gear is shot outside of the Daily Planet Building he takes the assignment himself to show all the younger reporters how to do it. There is a medical facility in the Daily Planet Building where the mystery diver is being treated. He utters the word "Quincy" and promptly dies (he did get shot three times). Perry writes a false front page story to lure the bad guys out. He even goes so far as to get his own diving suit, but Superman takes the suit instead. As soon as he goes outside someone shoots at Superman, who was hired by phone and knows nothing. All four in Perry's office brainstorm what "Quincy" and diving have to do with each other. Lois researches telephone exchanges but Clark hits on the Quincy Gym. Perry and Clark go to the gym. After surviving an encounter with more bad guys (there seems to be two sets of them), both reporters figure there's a water tank on the roof. Perry calls Jimmy to the gym just to have him climb into it. Jimmy finds a goldfish with a message wrapped around its tail. The message leads to a train yard and to car 763792. Little do they know all the bad guys have an apartment across the street watching them. Perry and Jimmy go to the train yard, find the car and discover it is filled with US mint paper. The bad guys are counterfeiters. Perry and Jimmy are caught, some double-crossing happens and all but two crooks are locked in a burning train car. Clark shows up in the nick of time and gets rid of Lois, giving him a chance to turn into Superman. He saves everyone and beats up the bad guys. Even Jimmy gets to knock one out. A really good episode that starts with a strange mystery.

Beware the Wrecker- An even better episode. This is the first time we have a criminal master-mind. He goes by the name Wrecker. A cross-country plane explodes. A steam ship leaving harbor explodes. A train coming into Metropolis explodes. Each time Perry White gets a phone call warning him (and demanding money), while in the background is a strange metal thump followed by a bell. There isn't any mention of casualty figures which could have been in the hundreds. A meeting is called in Perry's office with the owners of the three transportation companies. The fourth attempt is on another steam ship and a dollar amount is demanded. The calls can't be traced because the Wrecker is hacking the phone line with a portable handset. All three owners don't care about catching they guy, they just want their companies running, but Inspector Henderson convinces them to hold off paying anything out. Just before the deadline is up Superman goes into action at the pier (I don't know why he waited this long) and finds a model airplane, with explosives, flying overhead. Everyone puts their heads together and figure the Wrecker must be a guided missile expert. He threatens to launch twelve planes next unless he gets $100,000 dropped of at City Park. All the police stake out the park, but the Wrecker uses an underground passage and gets the money, even out from under Clark. On a whim he takes Lois and Jimmy to a carnival to see the High Striker game. They watch a guy play, use the mallet, whack the lever, ring the bell, and get a Superman sticker. Clark is badgered into playing and immediately breaks it. This is the sound they heard in the phone. Lois and Jimmy run off to find where the phones lines are and track it down to a shack near the carnival. They wait for someone to come home then barge in and capture the guy. Homemade wire going to the phone lines and lots of model aircraft are in evidence. They time him up and run out to find Clark. When they get back they guy is dead. The next day Superman tells Henderson to collect the three owners back in Perry's office. He uses a demonstration of the remote control airplane to scare the real Wrecker (the other guy was Emil Hatch an explosives and aerodynamics expert with a criminal history used to blackmail him), which is revealed to be Crane. He wanted the insurance money. The best episode of the day. Jimmy had his most entertaining moments trying to get Perry to let him in on the case with Lois and Clark. Any scene with Perry and Jimmy is usually a highlight of the show.

I meant to point this out last post: Superman showed off a new power in My Friend Superman. He flew in the supply closet he normal uses at the Daily Plant Building, but there's a typewriter on a desk in there. He Super-speed types out a three page news story. Jimmy meets him in the hall when Clark walks out of the closet, and nobody, including Perry White, thinks it's weird he didn't use his office to write the story.

The Panic Machine Devil Friend Experiment

2011-08-25T21:52:00.003-04:00

The final month of 1953 also sees four new episodes of The Adventures of Superman. Their show must have been given a slightly better budget because the flying effects are "improved". There are also different exterior shots of the Daily Planet Building, which now show better angles that make it a part of Metropolis. Their editors still love the shot of Clark running into a aupply closet, then jumping out the window as Superman. That was shown in the first episode, and it is still in use as of December, 1953.

Panic in the Sky- Despite the science in the being almost nonsensical it manages to be a highly recommended episode. About the only thing I can say they got right is there really are things called asteroids and sometimes they aim at Earth. Somehow scientists have been tracking a 5-mile diameter asteroid (once again really good for early '50s technology) past Venus, then Mars and finally curving its trajectory towards Earth. Superman has been helping the local observatory when it is learned it will slam into Metropolis. Professor Roberts warns him they don't know what it is made out of. It could have disasterous physical effects on Superman if he leaves the Earth. I guess they don't realize he's fine in space as long as he has a yellow star nearby. In a great scene Superman takes off for space and slams headlong into the asteroid. Superman falls to Earth dazed and confused, while the asteroid takes up a permanent orbit which causes it to eclipse the sun once a day. Now that there is a new gravitational body orbitting Earth it begins to wreak havoc on weather patterns and fault lines, causing tidal waves and earthquakes. Even Earth's rotation is slowly being affected. All this while Superman becomes Clark Kent again and loses his memory. We now see that he has three Supersuits (he must have learned how to make more Kryptonian fabric) but Clark no longer remembers who he really is. After many failed attempts by Perry White to yell at Clark, he goes back to his apartment and puts a Supersuit on. He suddenly remembers something about the observator and heads there. Roberts gives him a nuclear device which Superman flies to the asteroid, lands on it, detonates, then comes home with all his memories back. A couple things to point out. Professor Roberts warns Superman there might be Kryptonite on the asteroid, which means that information has now been leaked. This is the first time Superman flies into space, even though his cape still flaps about in vacuum. We never learn what the asteroid was made out of, but Superman was holding the bomb when it went off and the explosion cured him, so he is obviously immune to nuclear blasts. Clark at one point is lying in bed without his glasses on when Perry, Lois and Jimmy come barging into his bedroom. They don't notice he looks like Superman at all. Plus, an amnesiac Clark takes off his suit with the Supersuit underneath, next to Jimmy but he never notices. The special effects people do a pretty good job of showing the asteroid eclipsing the moon, even going so far as to put a yellow filter on the scene instead of it being just black & white. Good future-proofing, since most TV sets at the time were black & white, it would only be noticed in syndication.

The Machine That Could Plot Crimes- The fourth wall should be sparingly violated, and in the case of The Adventures of Superman only when Clark Kent winks at the audience. There have been a couple times this season where characters talk to the themselves straight at the audience for the sake of humor. It happened in this one, and it's painful to watch. But don't let that get you down, this is another great story. We have been seeing more Sci-Fi oriented episodes and this one is about a super-computer, named Mr. Kelso. Invented by Professor Quinn, not a mad scientist but a naive genius type, he shows off his computer to a has-been criminal, McCoy, who learns that Mr. Kelso can calculate complex patterns to establish the perfect crime. That being bank robbery, something that hasn't happened in Metropolis for at least a year, thanks to Superman. McCoy, and his partners Nosey and Pinky, go about robbing all the banks and getting the attention of Superman. But when Superman tries to intervene he finds laundry in bags, not money. All part of Mr. Kelso's plan. With Superman somewhat bamboozled, McCoy feeds all the information on him to Mr. Kelso, who comes up with the perfect crime to escape the country with wads of cash. Once again criminals blackmail Superman into "helping" by threatening to reveal his identity. But because they trusted Mr. Kelso it never occured them it would set them up, and eventually they get nabbed for driving the wrong way on a one way street. I've heard of people doing this with current navigation computers in cars. So the writer, Jackson Gillis, predicted a future man-machine interface error over 50 years ago. This is a great episode, even with the goofy Professor Quinn, because they actually explain many of the variables to a successful bank robbery (of the '50s). Mr. Kelso even prints out a sheet of time tables for all the traffic lights in Metropolis, as well as police patrol patterns. On the final part of he mission a thug puts dynamite on Mr. Kelso do destroy any evidence, but Superman stops it. While holding the dynamite, the thug shoots at pointbank range without thinking what Superman was holding. It appears that Mr. Kelso can make its own decisions about what to share and what to "lie" about, almost classifying it as AI. In the final moments Quinn asks the computer who Superman is and it outputs "Wouldn't you like to know." So even a computer has figured it out, while most criminals know he has an alter-ego. Superman is seriously getting sloppy. My favorite of the day.

Jungle Devil- I can't really give this episode high marks. Like Drums of Death did nothing good for Haiti, this one does nothing good for any South American jungle. I am only assuming it is set there because the map of Zinaya at The Daily Planet doesn't really show where in the world it is, but the natives are interpreted by a Hispanic guide. I guess it saves the writers from having to be realistic. They did say the area is about 10,000 square miles. Well, an expedition (to find a miracle medicine plant) is captured by natives, when the one woman on the team steals a diamond from the right eye of their god-statue and promptly loses it in quicksand. Lois and Clark (and Jimmy, too, who stowed away on their flight) are sent by Perry White to Zinaya to look for them. Really? Reporters doing search and rescue? Anyway, Clark manages to sneak off the flight and finds the missing expedition, just when the aircraft blows an engine. Superman flies back into the aircraft, changes into Clark again, and helps pilot Bill land in a clearing. While Bill repairs the engines, the three set off in the direction of the natives and are immediately captured. It is agreed that only one person needs to die and the rest can go, so Clark rigs a game to make sure he gets executed. The threat of death to all has been the feared Jungle Devil, which will be the method of execution. Clark finds a moment to become Superman and fights a large ape (escaped from a circus) of some sort, the Jungle Devil. Superman choke slams the monkey and it runs off. The natives don't care who Clark/Superman is, he's now considered a great warrior and all are spared. Clark even discovers a chunk of charcoal, and using his super-strength, crushes it into a perfectly cut diamond. It fits the statue and all is forgiven. The Lois, Clark and Jimmy scenes are fine, but the ignorant use of jungle natives ranks this really low. There is an odd moment when Clark first meets the locals. He holds out his hand like a "movie western" Native American, but instead says "amigo" instead of "how". Bad writing. I can't not recommend this episode enough.

My Friend Superman- A fairly harmless episode. Clark Kent and Lois Lane have been working on stories about extortion in Metropolis. Little do they realize a diner next to the Daily Planet Building is paying protection to a group of gangsters. Especially since Clark and Jimmy frequent it, mostly I think because Jimmy is taken by the waitress, Elaine. But the owner, Tony, is adamant he's a personal friend of Superman and even shows off a rifle with a bent barrel he keeps on a wall, as proof. The gangsters begin to worry and when they read Clark's report in the paper, they devise a plan to steal signed affidavits from store owners who are pissed. But first they need to get rid of Superman. With news that Lois is on assignment and out of touch for a few days they plant false news with Tony that she'll be kidnapped at a certain place and time. Tony reports this to Superman and the plan almost works until the gangster show back up at the diner and start talking about their plans. Tony has a recording device set up that catches them in the lie, and passes it on to Clark. In the middle of this deception Lois shows up at the diner, Superman right behind and they nab all three bad guys, but not before everyone in the joint throws pies, glasses and plates at them; eventually knocking them out. Not much happens but you feel for the Tony as he goes on about Superman, which amuses Clark to no end. No one eating at the diner actually believes Tony, until the end when Superman plays along. I like that all his food has to be either Super-hamburger or Super-soup. You also get a little dance number in the middle of the action to pass the time.

The Ghost Dog Face and the Lead Mask Experiment

2011-08-24T21:47:00.003-04:00

Four new episodes of The Adventures of Superman aired in November of 1953. The show is hitting its stride and a lot of good, quirky episodes are coming out. If you are British, though, you'll want to steer clear of A Ghost for Scotland Yard. It isn't flattering.

A Ghost for Scotland Yard- Brockhurst, An insane magician from London, fakes his own death five years before as part of a trick to get revenge on the people that hate him. This appears to be only two: Arthur McCready, owner of the theater Brockhurst used to perform in (and close friend of Perry White), and Inspector Farrington from Scotland Yard. Why McCready continued to employ someone he didn't like (or continue to keep a giant picture of him over the mantle in his living room) is beyond me, but the feeling must have been mutual because Brockhurst claimed he would return in exactly five years as a ghost to exact revenge. Clark and Jimmy get caught up in the hysteria and try to convince everyone that there are no such things as ghosts. Eventauly Superman steps in to reveal everything. Londoners don't come off very well in this episode, as they appear to be a superstitious lot. A phone call from the ghost seems to put everyone on edge, but Jimmy figures out what is really going on and Superman flies around collecting clues. It's a mediocre episode filled with accents that seem a little forced. It's interesting that in England nobody believes in Superman, but you can get his comic book at the local news stand. Is it weird that there is a Superman comic in the Superman universe?

The Dog Who Knew Superman- Corky is dog. This dog is owned by Joyce, the daughter of the gangster who runs all the bookies in Metropolis. Her husband, Hank, hates the dog, and throws him down a well. The only smart thing Hank has ever done is marry Joyce, because her father died and passed the organization to him. Clark witnesses Corky's predicament, becomes Superman and saves him. He even dives straight at the ground to tunnel into the well. With Corky safe Joyce and Hank drag him back to the car, but Corky picks up a glove Clark lost and gets Superman's scent. Back home Hank purposfully loses the dog again before figuring that Corky can lead him to the real identity of Superman. Meanwhile Corky ends up in Clark's office (following the scent trail). Some missed communications and screwy high-jinks puts Corky in a pound, a kidnapped Jimmy at Hank's place and Clark wandering the streets. Hank uses a lie-detector on Jimmy (why does he have one in his apartment?) who accidentally reveals the kennel Corky is in. Hank sends his underling, Louie, to pick him up, but Louie doesn't think it's right to know Superman's identity and leaves Corky with a dogcatcher, sure to put him to death. Jimmy gets free, Superman saves Corky, Lois calls the police and Hank does a bunch of time for kidnapping. Corky goes back to Joyce and no one thinks to use him to track Superman again. A fun story that would have been dumb except for the overacting husband and wife team of Joyce and Hank. She berates him something aweful and he's an idoit. Surprisingly entertaining. Jimmy has a great time lieing to the lie-detector and we learn he lives in the North Side. The best episode of the bunch.

The Face and the Voice- There's an ugly gangster in Metropolis that gets some plastic surgery. Turns out he looks just like Superman. He doesn't sound like him though, so Scratchy goes to Perry White's office and steals a record of a Superman speech, dated July 4th. Jimmy sees the guy but can't give a description. Neither can the story explain why Scratches knew where to find the record. Some time passes for Boulder and his voice coach, when he finally learns to sound like Superman. Then all the rival papers to The Daily Planet declare Superman is robbing people. The fake Superman even confronts Perry in his office and threatens the whole city to stay away from him. The cops believe Superman has lost his mind. They're afraid of him. Clark, for some reason, thinks he might by sleep-walking as Superman, but finally comes to his senses. When Jimmy is captured (again) chasing a lead, the real Superman goes to the police to get them to see the light. When that actually works Superman stops a gold heist and saves Jimmy. George Reeves had to play both real and fake Supeman and does a fantastic job, in an overacting dim-witted thug way. A fun episode. This is the first time he uses his Super-breath to blow out a fire.

The Man in the Lead Mask- Some of the criminals in this show are dumb. They do stupid things and get caught. I chalk it up to bad writing. Most of this episode I thought the criminals were just being stupid putting a lead mask on so Superman can't see who they are (or anyone else for that matter). But all Superman needs to do is beat one of them up and arrest him any way. The mask doesn't really help. Speaking of arresting, it appears all members of The Daily Planet are authorized to arrest people. I suppose to make it easier on the police. The actual point of the episode is about America's most wanted, Marty Mitchell, wanted dead or alive for $20,000. Clark spots him in a diner, but the face is wrong. After "stealing" his finger prints they turn out not to match police records either. Jimmy arrests him anyway, but the police can't hold him due to the finger prints not matching. Clark swears his voice and mannerisms are the same, though. The last episode was about plastic surgery and voice training, so these themes carry over well. Marty has a group of gangsters on the most wanted list who want their faces and finger prints changed too. They are given each a lead mask and told to rob $50,000 for the procedure. Superman intervenes but dresses up as one (including the lead mask) and spoils all their plans. It is finally revealed that there was never any surgery, it as all a scam for Marty to get a bunch of money from dumb criminals. A smart ending to an odd episode. Part way through Lois points out the use of a lead mask would indicate common knowledge of Superman's X-ray vision weakness. When did this get out? Sometime prior to The Big Squeeze?

The Man Jet Dark Defeat Superman Experiment

2011-08-23T15:10:00.003-04:00

There were five new episodes of The Adventures of Superman on TV the month of October, 1953. As I've said before there really aren't any good records or recordings of other contemporary shows, so for the time being this show will have to represent them all.

The Man Who Could Read Minds- Superman has to stop another criminal gang. Their plan is to pose as a mind-reading act at the Tip Top Cafe. During the act one of them "borrows" the house key of a rich "mark" attending and makes a wax impression. Then the one dubbed by the media, The Phantom Burglar, drives to the victim's house while cutting a new key from the mold. In, out and done by the time victim is home. This has gone on long enough that The Daily Planet started writing headlines that make the police look incompetent. Inspector Henderson invites all the main characters out into the residential area to show them the police are doing everything possible. Jimmy convinces Lois they can catch the burglars on their own and the two run off. They actually catch the burglars in the act but Jimmy gets beat up and shot at. Laterm Lois dresses up Jimmy to look South American so he can use his Spanish 101 classes and bait a trap. This, of course, backfires and Superman saves the day. At least Jimmy can put up a good fight. The cool Superman moment involves a car chase. Jimmy is driving Lois' car when the bad guys shoot out the tire. He almost goes off a cliff but Superman grabs the car from behind and pulls them off the ledge. There's a weird moment when the picture freezes on Perry White drive Clark Kent after Jimmy and Lois. You can still hear distant action but the image is obviously frozen because someone decided to stretch the scene out and didn't know what to do.

Jet Ace- Another one of Perry White's relatives is in the spotlight. Nephew Chris White is a civilian test pilot for the Air Force, out on a secret test flight in an F-86D Sabre Dog. Something goes wrong during an ill advised dive and he loses oxygen when his controls lock up. Because Perry invited all the main characters to the Air Force Base, Clark is in the perfect position to sneak out, become Superman and save Chris. This is just the excuse Perry needs to force Chris to take a vacation in his hunting lodge. A rival news paper reporter, Steve Martin of The Blade, tries to out-scoop everyone, but gets kicked out by the military. Chris demands to have a rifle if he is to vacation. Later at the hunting lodge Chris is attacked by two thugs who demand to have the report he wrote about his flight. He is taken to a masked man who beats him up for info. Perry gets word that Chris has vanished, fears the worst and sends Clark and Jimmy to check out things. Eventually Chris is taken back to the lodge when the masked man is revealed to be the Martin, the reporter. He torches the lodge to kill Chris, but Superman once again saves him in time. Chris had actually put the report in the barrel of his hunting rifle which was recovered from the scene. Everyone sets a trap for Martin, and Clark watches while Chris beats him unconscious. A descent episode with a convoluted plot to capture and nearly murder Chris, just so Martin can get a story. The Blade must be a terrible paper. Great moments for Superman include saving the jet and interrogating the two thugs who kidnapped Chris.

Shot in the Dark- A little kid using an infrared flash bulb happens to catch a couple photos of Clark Kent changing in to Superman (or the other way around), down the alley next to the Daily Planet. Once again Clark hasn't been as cleaver as he thought and someone just found him out... again... in that alley. That kid also took another picture of Burt Burnside, a con-man, who starts threatening the family. The addle-brained mom finds Clark, accuses him of being Superman in front of Jimmy Olsen and asks for help. The entire episode is enjoyable to watch because Clark has to tap-dance his way around every piece of evidence linking him to Superman, all while either Jimmy or Lois is with him. By the end he captures the bad guys and worms his way out of further scrutiny. This episode introduces Superman's heat vision, which he combines with X-Ray vision to find things behind walls and destroy them (all while doing no damage to his glasses or any walls). But the best bit is when Burt, who realizes Clark is Superman, pulls a pistol out of an ankle holster and shoots Clark point blank. When Jimmy demands to know how he's still alive, Clark pulls a silver dollar out of his pocket, mashes it a little and says the bullet bounced off. All the main characters are ignorant of Clark once again. Background details we learn about Metropolis: they have a subway system with a station at 34th Street and at least two commuter cars named "Valley Express" and "Valley Local". Superman once again proves his immunity to electricity when he breaks the third rail to stop a runaway Local train from hitting the Express.

The Defeat of Superman- Over a year ago crime lord Happy King ran off to Europe just when Superman was about to catch him. Unlike the first season, Superman is known world-wide now and Happy King is back in Metropolis with a European scientist, Professor Meldini. This Professor has an interesting theory. He thinks Superman is not from Earth, and suspects he's from Krypton. How did anybody on Earth know about Krypton in 1953? This is still 4 years before Sputnik. Oh wait, this is Science Fiction. Meldini somehow got a hold of meteor from Krypton and made a bullet out of it, calling it Kryptonite. Superman gets caught in a trap and is shot with it, stinging him. With conclusive proof, Meldini explains that Kryptonite doesn't hurt Superman's people on their home planet, only on Earth, and that it is harmless to humans. He devises a way to create artificial Kryptonite and makes a block of it the size of a stick of butter, enough to kill Superman before he can touch it. Another trap is set, using Lois and Jimmy who stuck their noses in when they shouldn't have, and all three are stuck in a basement with the Kryptonite. It's fast acting as Superman loses his powers then falls unconscious. Eventually Superman comes around just long enough to suggest encasing it in a lead pipe, which Jimmy finds as part of the plumbing. Superman regains all his strength and takes the pipe (with the Kryptonite) and throws it as hard as he can out to sea. King and his henchmen, driving away, see an object shoot past them in the sky, and they drive off a cliff not paying any attention to the road. Great episode again, having to do with bad guys figuring out Superman. This time they had knowledge Superman didn't even have. King also makes the leap of logic that Lois is practically Superman's girl. Now Lois and Jimmy have to keep Kryptonite a secret. This is the best episode of October.

Superman in Exile- Project X is a nuclear reactor that outputs Gamma Radiation. It runs out of control and Superman removes the control rods before Metropolis has to be evacuated. He is however dosed with too much radiation, even glowing in the dark. He chooses to exile himself on Mt. Blue Peak, which overlooks all of Metropolis, until a possible cure can be devised. Criminals realize they're free to do what they want again, and one in particular kidnaps Lois Lane, knowing Superman won't come close if she is threatened with radiation poisoning. They plan to steal an airplane with rare jewels on it. A sudden thunderstorm inspires Superman to fly into it. After a lightning strike cleans him of radiation (how, I don't know), he locates the aircraft with Lois on it, forces it to land and the police arrive to arrest everyone. Jimmy and Lois noticed throughout the episode that Clark wasn't around and began to suspect he's Superman. They are now looking for any excuse to jump to that conclusion, but in the end Clark changes her mind, again. A decent episode. Superman's glowing body is used to good effect whenever he moves into the darkness. A glowing Superman sitting on a mountain, staring at Metropolis is a powerful image.

Since Season 2 started they have been working more and more flying effects into the scenes. They are now more elaborate, and one even shows him flying past buildings, across hills and up into the sky for longer than any other episode. At least once I saw a wire holding him up, but the series is so much fun it can be ignored, and others show him flying sideways and other illogical directions. Not bad, though. He is also getting to show off more of his powers, now, and he also has a better sense of his environment as he constantly scans things using X-Ray Vision or Superhearing. A good group of episodes from October, 1953.

The Project Doom Squeeze Experiment

2011-08-23T01:24:00.002-04:00

September 1953 saw the return of The Adventures of Superman. But, before Season 2 began airing an odd Sci-Fi movie hit theaters at the beginning of the month that was based on a story by Robert Heinlein, Project Moonbase. He previously worked on a 1950 George Pal movie, Destination Moon, as a technical adviser and wrote some of the script. It was the first Hollywood movie to try to be scientifically accurate about going to space and the moon; a fun movie to watch. This is in complete contrast to Project Moonbase, where the technology is handled a little better than the characters, which aren't written for anybody.

Project Moonbase- It is the future of 1970 (September to be more precise) and the United States wants a moon base. A space station already exists in orbit as a launch bed for future lunar activities. But the "enemies of freedom" sneak a mole on board the mission. The three to make the historic first orbit of the moon is Major Moore, Dr. Wernher (the aforementioned mole) and Colonel "Bright Eyes" Briteis, a woman. Everything goes smoothly to the space station, but once the three board Magellan, their lunar orbiter, Wernher sabotages the mission. This forces Briteis to land on the moon to save everyone. Wernher admits he was under duress and wants to help now, so he and Moore moon walk to put an antenna on a ridge (because she landed them in a crater). Wernher dies on the mission, Moore makes it back and communications with Spacom (Space Command I assume) is restored. It is decided that the impromptu landing zone will make a perfect first moon base. General Greene, in charge of the mission, orders the two to marry so they can live on the moon without upsetting Americans, and most especially the US President who is also a woman.

Since it is 17 years in the future all communication devices will have a single antenna with a round double-ring on top. There appears to be no hippies or disco, but rockets are squat short designs that blast off to a disc-shaped space station about 350 feet in diameter. They do handle zero-G by telling us the characters are wearing magnetic shoes, and use a couple scenes with people walking on the walls and ceiling to sell it to the audience. I am assuming the film-makers couldn't figure out what to do with zero-G hair so they put shower caps of the future on all the actors.

The Magellan pod, which actually looks like the lunar lander we will use in 1969 (so this movie was only about a year off), has some interesting features. Inertia once again is handled poorly, but a wall of lights and a dial shows how many G's the astronauts are pulling during any acceleration. The bank of lights are numbered 1 thru 21 and I have no idea what they represent but they tell the pilot something. Everyone lays down in a hammock with controls and a lap belt to hold you in place. Not bad, but not realistic. For actual navigation a series of reel-to-reel tapes run through a computer, which is the auto-pilot. There is also a main view screen, a giant dial that measures the day and date, some lights indicating what the view screen is looking at and some kind of compass dial also related to the view screen. There is a lower level that houses supplies and a gondola that one sits in while it lowers you to the ground. To get to the space station we see two rockets, named Canada and Mexico. The three main characters fly in the Mexico, which has the same interior as Magellan, but to board it there is a lift built into the fin to take you to the flight deck. The space station (with the letters USSF on the side) has four docking ports equidistant around the edge that rockets shove their noses into. Those are the interesting parts of the movie.

This is the '50s and the characters are written as sexist as possible. Colonel Briteis got her rank for being the first human in space or something. Major Moore, her co-pilot for this historic mission, refuses to fly with her. We learn by the end that he's her ex-boyfriend and he hates that she out-ranks him. Almost everyone in the movie talks to Briteis like a child. At the tail end of the movie when Briteis and Moore are about to live on the moon for weeks, they are ordered to be married, because Spacom can't have them living together for weeks unmarried. There is no attempt to make sense of this, as Briteis, who is a fairly demanding pilot, suddenly wants to be married as if this is the only hope for her future. Then Moore is promoted straight to General so he can out-ran her. I know that in the '50s women's rights were almost non-existent, but no one looked at Lois Lane who is practically a poster child for "women's lib". It took World War II to put women in the working world in a vast enough scale to make a difference. Project Moonbase sets women back about a century. But that is a modern interpretation and I'm over-simplifying matters. This is supposed to be Science-Fiction where writers get to express progressive ideas, just not in this movie. At least we all have Star Trek.

Five Minutes to Doom- Lois (played by a new actress Noel Neill, who in fact played Lois in the serials) and Clark believe a man on death row to be innocent, and spend his final hours trying to prove it. Fairly straight forward but some shortcuts were made in the story telling. The man on death row is a construction site concrete inspector who is framed for murdering the foreman because he was about to expose a conspiracy to use poor steel construction on an overpass. There is no explanation how the owner of the construction company, Mr. Wayne, would benefit from murdering people, but neither does his secretary who eventually flips states evidence on him. Oddly we are never told what state Metropolis is in, but the governor's mansion is located up north in State City. These writers aren't even trying to make sense. The highlight of the episode is a hitman who tries to blow up the car Lois and Clark are in. He realizes this, grabs the bomb, and dives out of a moving car into a ditch as it explodes. Half is suit is ripped and you can see the Supersuit underneath. Luckily he covered up with a spare trench coat. Lois never asked how Clark survived jumping out of a speeding car hugging two sticks of dynamite in a lunch box.

The Big Squeeze- Someone on the writing staff must be a Batman fan. The last episode had a character named Wayne, and this one has a character named Grayson. Dan Grayson is an ex-con working at the Metropolis Furrier. Clark Kent has been tasked with coming up for the Citizen of the Year award and wants to give it to Grayson, without knowing his past. Not even his wife and kid know. But some shady dude, Luke Maynard, from the past blackmails him with a threat to expose him as an ex-con, and hurt his family. Clark knows something fishy is going on and figures out Grayson is being coerced. It all ends with Grayson being held at gunpoint in a cave and Superman must rescue him. Then Clark gets to share a life lesson on TV that being an ex-con means you've paid your debt to society and shouldn't be prejudiced against. Superman does a couple cool things in this episode. He rips a vault door off a wall and punches his way through a mountain to save Grayson in a cave. What's interesting is the blackmailer knows that Superman can't use X-Ray vision to see through lead, so he had a special lead-lined cave constructed. But as we learn, Superman can hear through lead just fine. How did Luke figure out this one limitation of Superman?

With season 2 a few things have changed. Perry White is on a tear about being called Chief, especially to Jimmy Olsen. Maybe it gives him bad memories of World War II. Jimmy got a haircut and does more slapstick idiotic things for the kids. The biggest thing of all is Lois Lane. Phyllis Coats couldn't continue to play Lois Lane so they cast Noel Neill. There is also some retooling of the opening credits.

The War of the Worlds Experiment

2011-08-21T21:42:00.002-04:00

In August of 1953 the first and best film version of one of the most famous Sci-Fi books ever written showed in theaters. War of the Worlds is by far "the" definitive alien invasion story. It doesn't much matter that we know Martians aren't going to attack us. If anyone in Hollywood is going to tell any kind of invasion story it will be held up to this movie. Without it Independence Day would never have been made, and that movie is the closest to the impact and emotion of what people must have felt in 1953. The best of Science Fiction should challenge how we think, scare us just a little (or a lot), and probably teach the audience something we never thought possible. This story is so well known I'm not going to dwell too much on the plot.

Martians attack the Earth, using meteors for cover. Slowly the world governments begin to respond and no one, not even the US Marine Corps can put up a fight. In the middle of this are two scientists, Dr. Clayton Forrester and Sylvia Van Buren, that spend much of the movie either advising the military, or trapped "behind enemy lines". After the final strategy of dropping an atom bomb, ten times as powerful as the two used in World War II, fails, all cities that have not already been destroyed are ordered evacuated. This includes Los Angeles, where a group of scientists from Pacific Tech have been busy trying to find a weakness in the Martians or their technology. Once the evacuation order is called, they are to head for the Rocky Mountains. When this plan fails due to rioters, everyone heads to church to prey for the end or a miracle. At the last moment all the Martian ships crash to the ground and are defeated by the microbes in the air that all life on Earth has become immune to over thousands of millennia.

Most Sci-Fi movies of the '50s all seem to think we need a narrator to tell us what's going on. I don't always agree with this because it can be used as a crutch for bad writing. Not for the opening of War of the Worlds. The narration actually explains the thought processes of the Martians as they decide to leave their dying world and head to Earth. Along with this is gorgeous space art showing (not always) accurate pictures of all the planets but Venus. The movie feels more modern for it and the fact this was all done by Bonestell, the most influential space artist of all time, goes a long way in showing how careful George Pal was in making this movie. There's even a bar named after him in Star Trek: The Next Generation.

War of the Worlds has fantastic alien tech. The Martian Tripod is about the only piece of tech we get to see, but boy does it have a lot. The eye-stalk is a nightmarish periscope that doubles as a heat ray, and the fins on the side each fire some green stuff that is just as deadly. They don't fly so much as hover, and you can see what appears to be three static-distorted beams underneath. For protection they have an electric shield of some sort that can withstand an atom bomb. Dr. Forrester even mentioned he thought their power source was an unshielded nuclear engine, accounting for all the radiation detected early on. Lastly they have another eye-stalk which comes out from the underside to scope out smaller things like the interiors of buildings. Unlike the main eye, this one sports the optic lens of the Martians themselves (a circle trisected into a Red-Green-Blue lens). I don't care if you can see strings in some of the scenes, just pretend it's part of their hover system.

There is a sound associated with most of these early Sci-Fi movies created by a Theremin. You know it when you hear it. It is so synonymous with Sci-Fi it becomes a brilliant decision not to use one for the primary sound/music of the Martians. Instead they use a sound that is still kind of terrifying today. And the use of this new sound and music elevate it way above everything that has come before (except maybe The Day the Earth Stood Still). Each element of the Tripods and even the aliens themselves have unique sound effects. You learn them quickly and it almost feels like a drum beat to the movie, rushing humanity to oblivion.

The Science part of the Science Fiction is handled very well. There is technobabble, but most if it makes sense. When the first meteor crashes in California, people start talking about why it didn't leave a bigger crater, and why is it so hot, and what about radiation. These are things that people should worry about if this really happened. The more exotic explanations have to do with the alien weapons, which Dr. Forrester says destroys the nuclear bonds within atoms that causes the target to vaporize. Visually this is done showing an inky black spot on the ground our a human outline in ash when the heat ray is fired. Once again this brings to mind Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The scientists even look at some Martian blood and start to figure out that biologically they are very primitive, but they didn't know how to use that against them, yet.

The use of the military is handled incredibly well, and any stock footage inserted looks like it was shot for the movie. Most '50s stock footage looks very grainy and doesn't visually sync well with the filmed components. Even though War of the Worlds is in color, the few times they show black & white footage of World War II it blends seamlessly. There is the famous scene of YB-49 Flying Wing headed to nuke of the Martian Tripods, that must have been stock, but it fits beautifully. All this makes the movie more believable. I want to contrast this with Invaders from Mars, where the stock footage never matched any of the filmed scenes and appeared to be used for filler.

I would say 90% of the time Sci-Fi, especially old Sci-Fi, tends to serve up humanoid alien design. I know it's cheaper to put a stuntman in a suit, but every once in a while it's nice to have something different. Because different can be scary. As weird as the monocular design of the aliens in It Came from Outer Space, it wasn't scary. In one of my favorite moments of all Science Fiction (which should also be one of the most famous), Dr. Forester and Sylvia are trapped in a farm house while Tripods are pacifying the country side and new ones are landing. Trying to get to the attic, a Martian walks up behind Sylvia and puts more terror into her than any human being deserves. It just looked at her (and put a hand on her shoulder). This alien design is so unsettling and terrifying it works beautifully. It has a strange gait, spindly arms, three fingers with suckers, no head, and a three-colored lens which glows in the chest. Presumably the chest is really the head. Dr. Forrester then picks up a 2-by-4 and whacks it in the body, which lets out a horrible scream. Growing up I wouldn't again be that scared of an alien design until I was 10 and watched John Carpenter's The Thing.

All the failed alien invasion movies should look to what War of the Worlds is and what it means. Humans are fighting for their lives, but don't win because of preserverence. An odd message at the time. I'm not sure how Spielberg's War of the Worlds failed (Okay, I know all the characters were completely unlikable), but I think it had a lot to do with not letting the audience know what happened. By the end, the tone of the movie changed to make it look like humans won, but they didn't. Skyline would have been better served if told from an entirely different perspective, or else you risk turning aliens in magical creatures that can do what they want. V and V: The Final Battle showed a convincing occupation which eventually led to a resistance that kicked the Visitors off Earth. Falling Skies fails for me because no one is trying to figure out the invaders, or even realize the human race is losing the Earth.

Of course the source material was written in 1898, but some of the best themes, ideas and stories carry on. Independence Day is the best balance of all, and the humans even manage to take back the Earth on their own terms. And, for those paying attention to Mystery Science Theater 3000, the chief mad scientist is also named Dr. Clayton Forrester.

On a side note the final four episodes of The Quatermass Experiment aired during this time on BBC, but they were never recorded and lost to the ether. Maybe, one day we can make a Faster-Than-Light ship with a big signal amplifier and recover these missing TV transmissions that are just floating in space.

The Quatermass Experiment

2011-08-20T11:29:00.003-04:00

One of the earliest influences on British Science-Fiction television is a 6-part series known as The Quatermass Experiment. TV at the time of the early '50s was either broadcast live (with or without recording it) or filmed first. On American TV we had the likes of Buck Rogers, Atom Squad, Captain Video and His Video Rangers and Johnny Jupiter all broadcast live. Sadly, not all were recorded and preserved in an archive for the future, but at least we still know they once existed. The Dinosaurs of Sci-Fi. They were also primarily aimed at kids. But American TV had already begun the transition to recording shows for syndication (on either film or videotape), which is why I decided to start this Sci-Fi review blog on The Adventures of Superman in 1952. It's the earliest example of the genre I could find in its entirety. I have a few episodes of other contemporaries, like Captain Z-RO, but there aren't enough records to figure out when they aired or a complete episode guide.

On BBC by this time many shows were still done live. Even though many were filmed much of those in the archives were lost or thrown away. It pains me to hear of an old series that has been completely lost because all the footage was intentionally destroyed. In July, 1953, began a new series that would spawn three sequel shows and movie remakes. It was called The Quatermass Experiment, it was broadcast live, and more importantly it as for adults. Like a stage play the production was performed once and that was it. The BBC went about filming the first two episodes before dropping the plan. These two episodes represent some of the oldest surviving example of British TV drama. Unfortunately I could not find a copy of them anywhere, on the internet or as part of a box set of DVDs. Since the sequel series, Quatermass II, broadcast in 1955 is available in the public domain I had hoped some industrious BBC person would share these with the world, but alas not.

I will have to pretend for this month and for August that my Temporal DVR failed to record The Quatermass Experiment. A motion picture was made with the same title (renamed The Creeping Unknown in America) and I will cover the plot then. But in brief, The British space program is in full effect and launched its first manned mission to space. Out of three astronauts one comes back alive and changed, the other two are missing. Professor Quatermass, head of the British Experimental Rocket Group, has a mystery to solve and a possible alien threat to reveal. I love this pre-Sputnik Sci-Fi story telling. And one of my favorite series of all time, Doctor Who, can traces its existence back this series as well.

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms Experiment

2011-08-19T23:37:00.004-04:00

Ray Bradbury's name comes up a second time in 1953, this time a movie from a Saturday Evening Post story. One month after It Came from Outer Space debuts, this movie hits theaters on June 13th. For special effects work the famous stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen was given his first solo effort in a motion picture. Obviously his effects are rough by today's stands, but this is still cinematic gold and fun to watch.

A government test of a nuclear device in the arctic (strangely called Operation Experiment) wakes up some kind of Dinosaur from its 100,000,000 year hibernation. An Atomic Energy Commission scientist, Tom Nesbitt, sees the monster but is injured. He is taken to New York City to recuperate, where everyone thinks he's nuts and assigns him a couple shrinks. Over a period of weeks several sightings of a sea beast attacking fishing boats and lighthouses emerges. When Nesbitt hears of this he knows it's his creature and sets about getting the head Paleontologist in New York, Professor George Ritchie, on his side. It takes some work but he finally gets the military working with him as well. The Professor shows a pattern of movement for the creature, he dubs a Rhedosaurus, and it is heading for New York City. The beast finally shows up in the harbor and smashes its way through Wall Street, destroying and killing as he goes. When the military gets involved they only wound the creature, and it runs off to hide. The population starts getting sick from some prehistoric virus which kills quickly. This precludes blowing it up so the military decides to use a radioactive shell fired from a rifle into a wound on its neck to kill it from within. The beast chooses to nest inside of a rollercoaster and the military finally hunts it down, killing it in spectacular fashion.

Almost 20 years after King Kong, this has to be the first giant reptile-like creature to stomp through New York City. There was a '40s Fleischer Superman cartoon with a resurrected T-Rex running through the city, but that was an animated Metropolis. This is a almost one-and-a-half years before the first Godzilla. Too bad this didn't spawn any sequels and become the big name its Japanese counterpart did. It would have had to have a proper name and Rhedosaurus doesn't roll off the tongue. I suppose I should nitpick the point that the Beast only woke up because the nuclear blast thawed all his ice, whereas Godzilla is a product of nuclear testing.

The Cassandra Syndrome is in full effect for most of the movie. Nesbitt spends a lot of time trying to convince people he saw something. Even the survivors of attacked fishing boats don't really believe what they see. This tends to be a source of aggravation with me as it allows the writers to drag on the story a little. In Nesbitt's case he is a sympathetic character, who is deservedly relieved when his warnings are finally acted on. There isn't any wasted time with him.

For its time the effects are remarkable effective, mixing the stop-motion scenes with live action. The best is the destruction of the lighthouse. It's not explained well in the story but a lone lighthouse in Maine is operating a fog horn. This attracts the creature because he thinks it's another of his kind. He then climbs the lighthouse to get to the sound and the light, destroying it and the people inside. The effect is great and the exploding wall as the two workers run down the spiral staircase is surprisingly real. There are also iconic scenes of people running down city streets screaming while the creature destroys buildings and stomps cars. A wall even collapses on a group of people that are believably killed.

The addition of the prehistoric germs and viruses is quite ingenious. Not something I think comes up much in Science Fiction until Jurassic Park. In this case anyone who is too close or exposed to its blood, collapse within minutes, dieing sometime after. Unfortunately we don't see a cure in the movie, but presumably after it is killed one is found. The threat of spreading disease everywhere stops the Army from just blowing it up, claiming it would send disease particles everywhere. Strangely they also say you can't burn it because the germs would travel through the smoke into the atmosphere. I don't think that's how it works, but it allows them to use a sniper to use a special one-of-a-kind radioactive bullet.

Dramatically from atop a roller coaster the sniper, Corporal Stone, fires it through a previous wound and the beast dies minutes later. If the bullet was that radioactive it would have killed Stone well before he pulled the trigger. In all the movies I've watched in 1953 the writers really don't have a clear understanding of radiation (probably not their fault), and this movie is no exception. But then everyone smokes in almost every scene of these movies so who am I to judge how the characters react to radiation. And it should be pointed out that Corporal Stone was played by Lee Van Cleef, very young and less than a year after his debut movie High Noon.

The Phantom from Outer Space Experiment

2011-08-18T22:45:00.002-04:00

May of 1953 offered up two Sci-Fi movies of interest; Phantom from Space and It Came from Outer Space. The latter is known for being Universals first film shot in 3-D. This makes three "infiltration" movies to come out in a two month period. As opposed to an alien invasion film, all these movies are about alien(s) coming to Earth; their goal to wreak havoc and/or hide. Prior to this we would have seen both The Thing from another World and The Day the Earth Stood Still, which are also single entities coming to Earth for one reason or another. This Sci-Fi plot isn't used as much anymore. Hollywood has gone for the more elaborate and visually awe-inspiring alien invasion stories of Independence Day and Battle: Los Angeles, but I do like the smaller-scale unsettling elements of the "infiltration" plot. There's enough exposition out there about Cold War fears influencing the movie going experience that I'm not going to get into it.

Phantom from Space- During an overly narrated sequence of military stock footage it is explained a glowing, potato chip-looking UFO entered Earth atmosphere and disappeared over Los Angeles. The Federal Communication Commission (FCC) is then dispatched to locate the source of radio wave disturbances in the area. A couple murders occur during this time (and a fire at an oil refinery) that puts a police detective into the middle of this. The FCC and the police go to Griffith Institute (filmed at Griffith Observatory) to talk to a scientist. The military is present and they finally compare notes and realize there's a connection between the UFO and the murderer/saboteur. Using science they trap it in a construction site but lose the trail when it takes off its space suit revealing it is invisible (hence the name Phantom in the title). The movie really slows down from here, but the main characters take the space suit back to the Griffith Institute and study it to determine what kind of alien could wear it. The Phantom follows them by riding in one of their cars. It repeated tries to communicate, abduct, run away, and take its suit back. Eventually they learn how to expose it using an unnamed light source and trap it on the observatory telescope, where it runs out of air (it has been holding its breath for hours) and falls to his death. Earth is safe again.

There are problems with this story, mainly dealing with the pacing and the science. I give great bonus points to sitting around about 20% of the movie to figure out what's going on. By looking at footprints, an exposed hand, the air in the helmet tanks, radiation from the suit, attempts at communication, and motives for the murders, the main characters were able to figure a lot out about the creature. It breathes an unknown gas mixed with methane, has a slow metabolism, can hold its breath for long periods of time, technologically more advanced (that's a gimme), can withstand large amounts of radiation, and uses silicate instead of carbon in its cell structure. That latter point leads it to be invisible, but the science is pretty bad. Since silicates are found in glass, when its skin mixes with Earth air and light it is rendered invisible. When it is finally exposed it looks a lot like Abin Sur from the new Green Lantern.

One of my pet peeves in story-telling is letting the audience know the mystery well before the characters. It makes them look incompetent. Of course everything is related, but it took halfway through the movie for anyone to figure this out. But to counter that, there's a lady chemist who was instrumental in communicating with it and few other key observations. She told her husband to go do the grocery shopping while she worked to save the world. That's good use of a female character in the '50s. She also had a dog, named Venus, who could track the invisible Phantom but every character failed to notice this. On a side note I like the old Woodies from the FCC with a giant antenna on the top. It's a little less than a mediocre movie.

It Came from Outer Space- I have always liked how early Sci-Fi movie titles have to explain things you're going to find out anyway. (i.e. The Thing from another World, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, Conquest of Space). This is a highly recommended movie and one that takes the alien infiltration idea in another direction. Ray Bradbury wrote the treatment and he wanted to do something special with it. Russell Johnson (The Professor in Gilligan's Island) shows up in Sci-Fi again as a telephone lineman.

Aliens on their way to another planet crash on Earth instead, outside of Sand Rock, Arizona near the Excelsior Mine. John and Ellen, watching the stars, witness this and head out to the newly formed crater. John checks it out alone and sees an alien craft just as the loose ground collapses, burying it. Nobody believes John, but on the way back home he nearly runs over an alien who darts out in front of him like a deer. He then finds two lineman, George and Frank, tracing a weird sound through the telephone lines. Slowly it is shown people are being attacked out in the desert; three old coots at the Excelsior Mine, a scientist at the crater, the two linemen, and finally Ellen. John realizes this and, seeing Frank and George in town, corners them. They reveal themselves to be aliens in disguise and they need time to repair their ship so they can leave in peace. The rest of the movie has John working with Sheriff Warren to show him that strange happenings are going on and to just leave be. Let the aliens do their thing. Eventually Warren can't take anymore and forms a posse to hunt aliens at the old mine. John gets to the aliens first, who have decided to commit suicide rather than fight. But the aliens are open to negotiation and free all the captive humans if John can delay the angry mob just a while longer. Sheriff Warren and his posse are stopped and the aliens leave Earth, with a final message that they'll be back when we're ready to meet them.

This movie chooses a different path. The aliens just want to leave, and they have to minimize first contact. If I were in 1953 I could see being spooked. However, after having seen Alien, nothing prior to it is that scary. I think it's a good choice to have John, an astronomer that no one believes, takes a pacifistic role, trying to talk to both sides. His main motivation being to get his girlfriend back, but he starts to see a bigger picture. I like the leader of the aliens (who happens to take John's form) as he explains after a 1,000 years they build an engine for traveling to the stars and it helped them conquer space. If that were true, they wouldn't have crashed on Earth. Our planet must have been in the way and they just smacked into it. The other movie also had a ship crash, too. They said it had something to do with our magnetic fields.

There was nothing like these aliens, design-wise, prior to this, so I'm betting they were much more shocking 58 years ago. One eye around a generally fleshy and vein filled body, covered in a mop of hair (I think). Most of the time we see out of their perspective, which is used to great effect (and it must have looked great in red/blue 3D). I'm not sure why they needed people, unless they wanted hostages in case of an angry human mob. Near the end of the movie the one who took Ellen's form outright attacks John, who has done nothing but help them. He ends up having to kill her/it. Maybe that alien was just an a-hole. When he finally confronts the aliens repairing their ship, they have all taken the different forms of the hostages. Why do the aliens use technology they have to be humanoid to repair? Maybe humans make a better form? I also like the glitter path all of them leave as they wander the desert.

The special effects leave a little to be desired, but if you buy into the movie's premise than the giant round spaceship on a wire at the beginning (shown twice) can be safely ignored. It's a little late now but about 10 minutes of this movie could have been trimmed. This is a far sight better than Phantom from Space, the highlights being the dialog between John and Sheriff Warren as they both come to terms with current events, the creepy alien attack moments, and Frank the lineman talking about the signal in the wires. Two aliens do manage to die, but luckily they don't hold it against us. I'd like to see a the reverse of this movie, when humans crash on an alien world and we're the monsters. Was that Planet 51?

The Invaders From Mars Experiment

2011-08-18T00:05:00.004-04:00

Since there aren't good records or recordings of much Science-Fiction TV of this era I have nothing to fall back on once The Adventures of Superman ended its first season run. So, I turn to the theaters. And in April of 1953 a fantastic gem shows up named Invaders from Mars. The story told from a kids perspective of an alien invasion, human mind-control, and eventual military retaliation.

Is this technically a Sci-Fi movie? It turns out by the end much of the movie was likely the dream of a child who stared at space and read comic books too much. But The Twilight Zone zinger at the end shows an green-glowing alien space craft landing in his yard, just like his dream. Who knows, maybe the kid is a clairvoyant mutant.

Ever so briefly: this movie is about a kid, David, who sees a bright green flying saucer land on top of a hill in his yard and bury itself underground. David is the son of a scientist, whom he tells. Taking him seriously he checks out the hill and disappears, only to show up again much later to verbally and physically abuse his family. This sets off David, who sees a mark on the back of his father's neck, realizing he's been assimilated. This kid runs around trying to get people to believe him as he sees the town slowly change around him. He eventually gets thrown in jail by the chief of police (also taken over) but a psychologist, Dr. Blake, talks to him and supports him. She even refusing at one point to release him back to his mind-controlled parents. Once a visit is made to the local observatory, the astronomer on duty, Dr. Kelston, spins a wild tale that puts all the pieces together for the audience (see my opinion of this below). This gets the military involved which means about 20 minutes of stock footage detailing the load up, mobilization and attack of a tank unit against the alien threat. Amazingly David is allowed to be around during all this, but is captured along with Blake by aliens (technically Mutants). The military busts in to the hidden underground ship, rescues everyone they can, plant explosive charges, and run like hell. Suddenly David wakes up in bed, and sees the same flying saucer land in his yard.

My first nitpick is during the opening narration. The actual dialog is fine (and almost poetic). The specific issue is the view of space. It has 8 planets just hanging in space. Where in our solar system can you do that? Of course they are no doubt really moons, to fit with 21st century astronomical knowledge, but back then they wouldn't have known that. I do love these anachronistic science mistakes in 50's Sci-Fi movies. We are so far from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

The ending seems like a cheap cop-out to a fairly decent invasion story. I like to think his dream prepared him for a much worse event that we're not privy to. There is an alternate British version that changes the ending to show the alien craft exploding and David isn't dreaming. Maybe that version is what happens after the American one?

This isn't a kids movie. It's about a kid, but his issues are adult. He even gets slapped by his dad. Authority figures around him are perceived as a threat and the director does an excellent job of making you want to see the backs of everyone's neck. This is a great idea. Even though it's easy to tell who's been affected it's still creepy when David meets one person after another with the mark. Here's the dark part of it. Each person controlled has a mission and once completed the victim dies of a cerebral hemorrhage. Off camera, the first victim is a little girl who set fire to her parents house to cover something up. David is terrified his parents will die, but anyone that is captured dies instantly. It adds a bit of suspense. Sadly we never find out if David's parents are saved in time, but they were taken to a hospital to have their platinum control chips removed. Dr. Blake is captured (knocked out by a light ray), and we nearly see the implant process, where it is drilled into the back of the neck. Never fear, she's rescued in time.

Dr. Kelston comes up with an outlandish idea for why the invasion is happening. Because Mars atmosphere is too thin, any Martians must live underground and on space ships floating between the Mars/Earth orbital area. Earth is developing an atomic rocket to put atomic first-strike platforms in orbit and deep space which would affect Martian living areas. These platforms would allow a nuclear strike anywhere in the world in minutes (hello Strategic Defense Initiative). The Martians being so advanced would have created a race of humanoid slaves to do their bidding, known as Mutants (pronounced mu-TANTS). With a mothership in orbit, they release a drop ship with one leader and lots of slaves to land on earth and proceed with the plot. The creativity (and science abuse) of Hollywood is interesting seeing as this movie came out four years before Sputnik was put in orbit. Most adults blame this kid reading too many comics, but Kelston is out there. But, he is the smartest person in the movie, which makes him right. This movie needs a science book. There's even mention the aliens use an infrared beam to dig underground. Since infrared is just heat, that's the closest this move gets to being plausible.

The actual Martian design isn't bad. A weird looking head attached to shoulders is kept in a glass bubble, where it psychically controls its Mutants and mind-controlled humans. There are even antenna sticking out of the back that wiggle around. The Mutants look terrible, all green with slit-like eyes and three fingers. How the hell do you control a space ship with meaty paws? Oh, wait, the Martians must use psychic powers on the ship? Then why have Mutants? This is actually the weaker part of the story, but better than the stock Army footage.

To support the dream-like state the interiors of the police station, chem lab, and space ship are out of proportion to what you would expect. Doors are too tall, walls are blank and seem to stretch to infinity, etc. Even the jail cell David is locked in has a forced perspective look. Maybe the aliens fed him these images as a test to see how humans would react or to make him second-guess himself during the real crisis. Maybe everyone had these dreams.

This is a good classic movie. It's unsettling when it needs to be, it has a mystery, there's suspense, and a kid actor who isn't too bad. I should also mention this is in COLOR. (see also the 1986 remake of the same name).

The Mole Men and the Unknown People Experiment

2011-08-16T12:10:00.002-04:00

Superman and the Mole Men, from November 23, 1951, was the first theatrical release of Superman. Prior to it there were two serials of Superman, but I don't count serials as movies. At the end of the first season of The Adventures of Superman, someone must have decided to break the movie into two parts and end the season, probably to save money. This is also the only two-parter of the series. There are differences between the two versions of the story, but the big one that occurs to me is changing the name of Mole Men to just Unknown People. If you saw the movie, they aren't really unknown. Maybe the studio execs were trying to trick people into thinking they were getting a new story? I also want to point out how well these episodes plug into the established series as if it belonged there. This is technically the pilot of the series, yet watching it at the end of the first season you'd never know. Strangely there seems to be no common consensus as to when these two parts aired. I have arbitrarily decided to tack them on at the end of the season, but I have seen at least one plausible source suggesting August 10, 1953. Most other places claim no one actually knows. So for today I'm pretending these are from March, 1953. My blog, my rules, and I'm sticking to it.

The Unknown People, part I- The town of Silsby, 2500 miles from Metropolis (possibly in Texas), is host to the world's deepest oil drilling platform. Since it passed the 6 mile mark the drill was ordered to stop and be dismantled. Witness to these events are Lois Lane and Clark Kent, who were invited down to write a story. Clark hopes instead to make the story about the sudden work stoppage when they are told by the foreman, Corrigan, to spend the night at the Hotel Silsby and leave in the morning. Oddly, Lois thinks there's nothing here, but Clark convinces her to go back to the site to talk to the night watchman, whom they both find dead. Clark is able to get more information out of Corrigan now that lives are at stake. It seems that the drill had punched through to a hollow spot after passing 6 miles. Examining the drill-bit he found microscopic life and began to worry that the Earth is actually hollow and more advanced life forms live in it. There is also glowing soil samples he thinks are radioactive. This story is pushing for a hollow Earth, but it is more likely a hollow chamber. Clark appears to go along, but I don't think he believes him. They both come to the conclusion that something came out of the hole left behind by the drill. They had even put a hatch over it, but the "Unknown People" were able to open it from beneath. As sightings of strange little people crop up, the town folk of Silsby are in an uproar. In one of those creepy sci-fi moments I hate, strange headed creatures stare in a window at a little girl. Luke Benson gathers a large group at the Hotel Silsby to go hunting for them, even after Clark tries to calm everyone. They storm out and Clark becomes Superman in hopes he can stop everyone. There's a great aerial shot from Superman's perspective flying over the crowd to the girl's house. My favorite moment of the mob itself is when an unarmed man walks past a barber shop and tears down the barber poll as a weapon. Superman fails to get through to them so the townsfolk run off and corner the two creatures on the town's dam...

The Unknown People, part II- ... where one of them is shot. Superman flies in to grab him before he falls in the town's water supply, contaminating it. While he's busy flying the wounded creature to Geneva County Hospital the rest of Luke's mob is hunting the remaining one, chasing into an abandoned tool shack. Luke burns the shack down but leaves before realizing the creature escaped. Luke is proud of himself and goes back to town to tell the sheriff he got rid of the two. When the sheriff tells him one is the hospital and to leave it there, Luke pulls a gun on the sheriff and puts his mob pack together. Superman intervenes, taking everyone's weapons and orders them to stay away. While he's busy fighting the whole town, the lone Mole Man goes back down the drill hole and comes up with two more guys plus a nifty giant silver weapon. Marching through a mostly deserted town the three creatures head for the hospital. Superman confronts them and realizes they want their man back. Luke tries one more time to kill something and he gets shot by the Mole Man weapon. Superman intervenes, gives them their injured comrade, they leave and the town finally relaxes. The Mole Men do blow up the oil platform and the shaft so they will be left alone. THE END.

As creepy and corny as the mole creatures were, they were constantly filmed as sympathetic and not evil. This could so easily have gone the other way if they were just made to be bad guys, as Superman might have had to fight an invading force. The new Doctor Who series had a similar episode dealing with a drill that goes too far and wakens an ancient race deep within the Earth. That, however, did turn into a threat for the entire planet.

This edit is a bit better than the original movie, because some of the slower parts were cut and the music was changed to the now standard Superman themes. This story is all about panic and hysteria over the unknown, very similar (but on a different scale) to The Day the Earth Stood Still, which was released only a month before Superman and the Mole Men. It probably occurs to Superman at some point that if the townsfolk treated him as an alien, and not an American superhero, he might have similar issues. Not that he's easy to hurt, but it would suck to have the entire US government gunning for you. Season 1 ends. Season 2 doesn't start until mid-September 1953, so for the next few days I will watch the summer Sci-Fi movies of the era.

The Human Underworld Ghost Crime Experiment

2011-08-15T13:53:00.004-04:00

I now wonder if the open credits where Superman stands in space is actually supposed to by Krypton and two moons. Just a thought. Today represents February, 1953, still only The Adventures of Superman. I won't be born for another 19 years, but who knew back then I could catch up on 58 year old episodes on DVD? Enjoy. All these, with the exception of The Ghost Wolf, quite good. All these episodes were actually filmed back-to-back in 1951. It's kind of sad that the later episodes you can see the "S" on Superman's top getting more ragged as the series goes on. That must represent a lot of crime punished. Then again, people would have seen this on 10-inch B&W TVs, so I doubt they wouldn't have noticed.

The Human Bomb- It is becoming apparent that the citizens of Metropolis are seeing a connection to The Daily Planet and Superman. One such person is Butler, a millionaire, who makes a bet at the Metropolis City Club that he can control Superman for 30 minutes. Not a horrible idea, but he is the first character in the series to even suggest that Superman likes Lois Lane. So Butler makes a bomb vest (sort of) with dynamite and holds Lois ransom. To make the situation as crazy as possible he stands on the ledge outside her office to attract as much attention as he can. Sure enough Superman shows up and is made to promise not to interfere with a museum heist going on. Sadly there a few moments when the good guys could have turned the tide on him and ended the episode early. But Superman, channeling MacGyver, sets up a contraption to appear to be in The Daily Planet building while he stops the robbery. Jimmy Olsen however is so pissed that someone is threatening Lois Lane he takes matters into his own hands when he learns all the dynamite might be fake. According to Night of Terror The Daily Planet offices are on the 28th floor, but the stock footage used doesn't quite support that. A decent episode that shows Jimmy getting in a fist fight with a dude on a ledge. He even gets a raise for his efforts. The characters should probably take stock of what happened here, but since they already don't think Clark is Superman, they just don't see that the rest of the Metropolis' ne'er-do-wells are putting two-and-two together.

Czar of the Underworld- For the past month Clark Kent has been writing articles about a mobster out of LA, known as Luigi Dinelli. The articles are picked up by Hollywood to be made into a movie known as (you guessed it) Czar of the Underworld. Clark and Inspector Henderson are invited to be present of the shoot of the film, but Dinelli wants to end the picture before it starts, so he has a sniper team try to take out Clark. It doesn't work, so Clark and Henderson are more determined than ever to help with the picture and expose an untouchable mob boss. Through a montage and some studio "accidents" it's shown that Dinelli has declared war on National Studios (the makers of the movie), yet the Chief of Police on set says Dinelli is clean. They have an address but no enough on him to get an arrest warrant. When the main actor is killed, Clark puts himself out as bait by staying overnight on the set, which gives him a chance to be Superman and directly confront Dinelli. He actually flies into his house, beats everyone up, then drops Dinelli off on the set where a hitman mistakes him for Clark. By the end Dinelli is taken down and the Chief of Police is found to be working with him. Amusingly Superman slips a couple times and makes reference to himself being Clark. Good episode.

The Ghost Wolf- This one is only mildly convoluted and takes place from May 12 to 20, 1955. After some cool lumberjack stock footage, we learn that Perry White has contracted the Lone Pine Timber Company to cut down the wood for the mill that gets sent directly to The Daily Planet presses. But workers at the Timber Company are quitting due to a werewolf sighting. Perry is livid, because he's loosing traction to competing papers that can print full runs. He then sends Lois, Clark and Jimmy to check the situation out. In one of the most iconic moments of any Superman tale, he single-handedly holds a bridge up while a lumber train (containing Lois and Jimmy) crosses over him. When they finally get to the Timber Company, Lois has a couple run-ins with a wolf and a forest fire is started. Superman does some hard work to save everyone in the forest, get to the bottom of the mystery, and put the fire out. I don't like these stories with mysteries that are resolved without the main characters. Even though it's hinted that the story is set in either Washington or western Canada, most of the workers are French-Canadian, and something about the King who owned the land had died, and a daughter who snubbed a lumberjack. He got mad and tried to destroy everything. It kind of falls apart at the end, but Superman figures he can stop the forest fire by flying an un-shielded phone line into a thundercloud and when lightning strikes it will force a rain storm. They never really explain why this lady gets to walk around with a wolf scaring people off. Something about reclaiming her land. Perry White should just hire a different lumber company. It was kind of cool to see the French-Canadian character go hand to hand with a wolf and knock it out.

Crime Wave- One of the best episodes I've seen yet and my top episode for the day. Mob crime suddenly skyrockets in Metropolis, with a mob war and open season on all police. A special taskforce is put together to end it once and for all, with Superman leading it. He is even outright called "Metropolis' number one citizen" in the press. If Clark Kent is trying to lay low with the Superman thing, he went about it the wrong way. There is a lot of stock footage of crime, shootouts, murder, Superman beating people up, etc. Metropolis becomes more like Gotham City than ever before. The only ding I have on this episode is most of Superman's scenes are stock footage from previous episodes, but since this isn't a "clip show" it kind of works. Early on Superman declares the top 12 Public Enemies of Metropolis (no Lex Luthor) and he goes after them one by one. He even knows they can't do anything so he tells the press who he's going after just to show off. Here is the list:

12- Johnny Neale
11- Sam "The Fish" Miller
10- George "Greasy" Born
9- "Willie The Weeper" Shoemacher
8- Harry McCann
7- Phil "Shortcake" Mitchell
6- Duke Pizanno
5- Mike "The Crusher" Dana
4- Vince Jordon
3- Nick Marone
2- Big Ed Bullock
1- ?

The question mark is a ring-leader both Inspector Henderson and Superman (but not most people) believe is out there. As it turns out the No. 1 man started the crime wave to get Superman involved because he has a mad scientist in his back pocket with a plan to kill him. Finally, a sci-fi super-weapon. In the end the day is saved and the truth behind everything is revealed. Even the cheezy special effects are good enough. Once again cleaver crooks with an 8mm camera start to figure the connection between Clark and Superman. A must see from the first season and the last regular episode to air. The final two episodes of the season are a two-part story taken from Superman and the Mole Men, which was produced well before Crime Wave.

I doubt there was an intended story order to any of these episodes, but it seems to me that The Human Bomb should come after Crime Wave; due to the fact Butler refers to a massive crackdown on crime (specifically twelve gambling joints) in Metropolis at the beginning of the episode. This leads him to strap a bomb to himself and go after Lois. By now Superman has made such a huge name for himself there's no way people on the street don't know who he is. It is pointed out in the commentary that George Reeves was 38 during filming season 1. Why are all Superman actors now in their mid-20s? I'd like to see a seasoned Superman in a movie, and Superman Returns doesn't count.

The Wax Robot Drum of Evil Jade Experiment

2011-08-14T23:58:00.004-04:00

January, 1953, starts strong with five new episodes. For those still wondering why I'm only concerning myself with The Adventures of Superman, that is because it is the only full show from this time I can get my hands on. Captain Video and Captain Z-RO are mostly lost to time, with a smattering of episodes to prove they once existed. But records of their broadcast dates are so spotty I couldn't put an episode guide together, so I'm pretending my Temporal DVR just isn't recording them. At least Rocky Jones, Space Ranger and Science Fiction Theater were saved and if I can find them I will add them in where appropriate. More on that to come. In the mean time to simulate the coming summer months of 1953 when there were no episodes to watch I will review a Sci-Fi movie from the time period.

Mystery in Wax- The first over-acting villain in the series. She's insane and her plot makes no sense. I should accept that, but to have to watch her maniacal moments is just painful. Selena and her husband run a wax museum where she predicts people's death, then 6 months later they commit suicide. In reality she is kidnapping them, making her husband wear a wax mask of said person, who then jumps off a pier, making headlines. Selena thinks she can get all the power and money she wants if she can convince the citizens of Metropolis that she has the power over everyone's death. Clark figured most of this out early, but no one will listen to him. The whole plot just doesn't work because she kidnaps the victims and leaves them locked-up in her basement. Does she intend to leave them alive forever? They never approach the question at all, and Selena is played so over the top it's hard to get into this episode.

The Runaway Robot- Finally, a more science-fiction based threat for Superman, and it looks like Tinman made by 5th Graders. The episode starts out promising, but by the end a number of stupid character decisions make it nearly impossible for Clark to figure anything out. A jewelry store robbery is stopped by a remote control robot. The thieves get away but the robot malfunctions. When the police arrive they assume the robot's maker, Horatio, is the one behind the robbery, mainly because the real thieves got away with thousands of dollars in diamonds. Now, this is some terrible police work. They never ask the proprietor who did it. When they eventually bring him in to the police station to look at mug shots, they still hold Horatio responsible. The cops didn't even finger-print the place. When Lois, Clark, and Jimmy head to the police station to get Horatio released into their custody, someone steals the robot out of lock-up. These are the worst cops ever. The only big surprise in the episode is Russel Johnson (The Professor from Gilligan's Island) as the ring-leader of the thieves. He manages to kidnap Horatio so he can use the robot to do more bank robberies. Clark is never around to see what's happening because he's busy doing actual police work. Horatio, more clever than he deserves to be, radios for help. Lois Lane gets the message but leaves a vague note for Clark that she's going somewhere. A note that Clark never sees. By the end Superman breaks the robot into pieces and stops the thieves. It's a wonder he could even find their hide-out with the badly designed plot in the way. To save money in this series there is extensive use of stock footage, and in this case they use footage of fire trucks from the '30s (which seem a little out of place). Sadly, the episode is kind of fun, but infuriating.

Drums of Death- It should have been called Drums of Current Events. Nobody died from them. They were just like that guy in the parking lot playing his bass really loud. This may be set in Haiti, but I don't think there was any research put into making it culturally accurate. Perry White's sister Kate and Jimmy Olsen, go to Haiti to take pictures of ruins or something. They are captured by a Voodoo Priest wearing buffalo horns and not at all authentic. This episode is just ignorant, and was meant to appeal to children who wouldn't know the difference. Maybe today's viewers are much more shrewd, and, I'm guessing, '50s adults couldn't be bothered. This gets in the way of a story that's mediocre at best, but the end with Superman saving everyone from being crushed into paste is pretty good. I really don't believe there are voodoo drummers set up in Port Haiti (I think that's what he called it) banging out the news so jungle dwellers can hatch schemes. This all had something to do with finding a hidden crystal treasure that was never located. Not that it helps the episode but Clark breaks the fourth wall when he is told he should learn to fly and he winks at the audience. Perry White and Jimmy have been completely duped by Clark throughout the series into believing he isn't Superman, so they have no hope of realizing that the Voodoo Priest is actually a white guy they met before, but in black-face. Terrible.

The Evil Three- This is the strongest story of January. I like these episodes that have the supporting cast out on their own doing something other than reporting. Perry White and Jimmy Olsen are on vacation fishing when they get a room at the Hotel Bayou. Macy, who owns the hotel and Perry remembers from years ago, tells them the place is haunted and they shouldn't stay. Perry knows something is wrong so they get a couple rooms and the weirdness begins. This is a Scooby-doo mystery episode. The title, which doesn't make much sense by the end because they're insane (not evil), refers to the three people that have lived there for years since Macy killed the original proprietor for his money, that's hidden somewhere. The other two people are a Civil War Colonel-looking dude and a crazy old lady in a wheel chair. The latter two have been protecting the money. Look, this episode is mental and doesn't make much sense, but the moments are great and Jimmy hasn't been as believable in his role since The Haunted Lighthouse. The commentary on the episode is pretty good, too. At one point Superman flies to the Hotel Bayou and lands in front of the Colonel who neither knows who he is or comments in his ability to fly. Of note is Perry White's car with a car-phone. For those wanting details his number is MX39162. I would like to learn more about the technology of early phone system's and how you can have one in a car. It's an odd episode but I like it a lot.

Riddle of the Chinese Jade- Not much of a riddle, really. The bad guy wanted to sell it in London, but first he had to steal it from a Chinese antiques dealer. Too bad for him Lois and Clark were on scene interviewing the owner. The plan is simple: throw a grenade through the ground floor of the shop, use an underground tunnel to enter and go straight to the second floor, steal jade statue, make money. It all went wrong when a hostage had to be taken and Clark quickly realizes the manager of the store, who lives across the street, helped in the crime. He was apparently coerced. When all is brought to light, the bad guy kidnaps Lois, which is immediately ended when Superman beats the crap out of him. Police Inspector Henderson, a regular background character (who moves between worthless cop to the strong-arm-of-the-law when the script dictates), decides to let the manager go, because it was the right thing to do. I don't know who has worse cops, Metropolis or Gotham. And once again Clark winks at the audience after making a Superman joke. Please, stop. I know who you are even if your best friends are blind. The cave set gets used again. There is an interesting reference in here to the Tong wars. Metropolis has a China Town and the buildings are all connected underground because of this war. They probably predate Clark's move to the city, or he would have known about it.

Prior to the beginning of The Adventures of Superman the movies you could have seen would've been: 1950's Rocketship X-M and Destination Moon; 1951's The Thing from Another World, When Worlds Collide, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and Superman and the Mole Men. The 1950's movies were about leaving the Earth and all four 1951 movies were about bad things happening to us. I can't recommend these movies enough for those that like classic science fiction. The science is a bit wrong, but look how far we've come as the average person can recognize bad science vs. movie goers 60 years ago. Heck, 60 years ago we still thought Mars had intelligent life, and it was a threat to us.

The Deserted Stolen Treasure of Trouble Experiment

2011-08-13T12:31:00.002-04:00

I think it's fun looking at 50's Sci-Fi TV shows and movies to see what science they get wrong. Sometimes they do good, but most of the time not. It is an interesting choice, then, that during the open for The Adventures of Superman Superman is seeing kind of standing in space with the Earth, the Moon, and possibly another planet of some sort. I don't know what it is but the makers of the show must have thought it looked good. These four episodes below come from December, 1952.

The Deserted Village- I don't know why I'm surprised to see a really good episode of this series but here is another one. There's a mystery and it seems odd, but all is explained by the end. Without giving away too much Lois has a friend in a town, Cliffton by the Sea, north of Metropolis, that won't answer her phone. After trying every number in town she learns no one is picking up. Lois and Clark head there and discover everyone is gone. After investigating, they find a dead dog and an unconscious person who claims there are only four people left in a town of over 500. Clark investigates, Lois gets in trouble, and the truth is handled by the end. One of the best scenes in the episode is Clark demanding Lois leave for her own safety and she refuses to believe him, even though the remaining four people of Cliffton carry guns and gas masks. The cave set first seen in The Haunted Lighthouse gets reused for at least a third time, and a stock footage shot from that same episode of Superman running along some sand and rock. Way to save money. This is a strong episode to watch.

The Stolen Costume- An episode that starts out a little slow turns around by the end to be one of the best they made. Someone known as Teaball (aka The Rope Burglar 'cause he uses a rope to break into high-rise apartments) breaks into the Standish Arms Apartments, which turns out to be where Clark Kent lives. While evading the cops he gets into Clark's bedroom and finds a hidden closet with Superman's costume. He steals it and runs away, only to be shot. I think this is the first time we see blood in this show. He staggers to a mobster's place, where they take the costume and interrogate him as to where he was. After Teaball dies the mobster, Ace, and his girl, Connie, hatch a plan to blackmail Clark Kent whom they determine must be Superman. They even learn his apartment number is 5H. Clark meanwhile calls on an old Detective friend, named Candy, to help with the leg work, but Ace and Connie think he's Clark Kent. Connie is the first one in the series to put together that Superman must have a dual life. With a little deductive reasoning she figures out it all out. Nobody working with Clark even suspects, but twice now in the series bad guys are hard at work figuring out anything to do with Superman. The conclusion is cold-blooded once Clark confronts Ace and Connie. Let's just say he takes them to a place very close to the Fortress of Solitude and leaves them there to die. Apparently based on a radio episode, this is also a must see for the series.

Treasure of the Incas- A mediocre episode about a hidden Inca treasure. Lois is tricked into getting an Incan tapestry for a professor from Peru, but when he's found dead Lois loses the tapestry at gun-point. Fortunately she had shown it to Clark and Jimmy Olsen, which propels the three to set off for Peru to learn what's so special about it. There is a second tapestry that when combined with the first point to the treasure. Through some double-crossing that is apparent to the audience, but not Lois and Jimmy, they get captured in the same cave set used in four other episodes. When threatened with dynamite Superman saves the day, finds the treasure, and captures the bad guys all at once. Not particularly brilliant but not a bad episode. We do learn Jimmy speaks Spanish at a first year high school level.

Double Trouble- This episode Jimmy Olsen gets to be the idiot. Someone is trying to sneak something through customs into Metropolis, but some other group is waiting for that person. So he dresses like a lady and bumps into Jimmy who is waiting for Lois to finish an interview with a Hollywood Actress. Jimmy is passed something to hand to a group of guys around an ambulance, who immediately kidnap him and realize they've been tricked. The dude dressed like a lady kept something from them. Without boring you with more details, Superman goes to Germany where some radium was stolen and puts two and two together quickly and saves Jimmy from a fate that is never explained. Another okay mystery, but initiated by very stupid Jimmy Olsen, so I have to rate this one the worst of the four I watched today.

The Machine Rescue Secret of No Holds Barred Experiment

2011-08-12T14:40:00.003-04:00

November 1952. Four episodes of The Adventures of Superman. More than 58 years ago. Good line up of episodes with only one questionable one.

The Mind Machine- A Senator is forming a committee in Metropolis to determine why there is so much crime being reported by The Daily Planet. He narrows it down to a criminal king pin, Cranek, and starts collecting witnesses, including Lois Lane who has done much of the research for the paper. In proper sci-fi fashion a scientist, Dr. Stanton, has invented a Hypno-Therapy Transmitter for use in treating minor nervous disorders and phobias and such by influencing the brain directly. Since this is public knowledge Cranek and his thugs break into the lab, steal the device, kidnap Dr. Stanton, and head out to his hunting lodge outside of Metropolis. Side note: for some reason Metropolis looks like New York City, but everything else around it looks like Southern California. The DC Universe map of America must be radically different from our own. Cranek uses the device to tamper with the minds of witnesses who die shortly after, thus hampering the committee. It is ridiculous on the surface but a good episode none-the-less. Superman gets in another good fight with thugs. My favorite moment: Clark Kent in an airplane (using RADAR to detect the power signature of the device) when they find it with minutes to spare before Lois Lane is killed; Clark sets the auto-pilot, knocks out the pilot, becomes Superman, saves the day, then helps the airplane land when it runs out of fuel (with the pilot still unconscious).

Rescue- Lois Lane is an idiot. I know she's supposed to be the head strong go-getter reporter type, but you just don't run into a collapsed mine to save someone if all the qualified personnel tell you it's unsafe. That they are right. She's in Pennsylvania to do a story on a mining town when an unstable mine collapses on an old miner who was also told not to go in there. I think that Lois has subconsciously figured out that if she's in peril Superman shows up no matter what. Maybe she went all suicidal knowing she'll be rescued. Or maybe she's just dumb. Clark is on assignment in Washington DC when all this happens. At least three times the mine disaster comes up as a news piece and he isn't paying enough attention to notice. I always thought Superman has a super awareness, like a Spidey-sense, bet he fails to see or hear any news. The worst is when he's fixing the car he borrowed from Lois. While he's fixing the distributor cap the news comes on the radio, but he doesn't here it over the noise. I thought super-hearing was a passive skill, not like X-Ray vision. Just before it's too late, Clark arrives on the scene, becomes superman, plows his way through a collapsed tunnel and saves Lois and the old miner. The parts with Clark/Superman are good, but Lois in the episode is annoyingly stupid. Watch as she needs a piece of wood as a lever and pulls out the wood column supporting the ceiling. Instant disaster, just add Lois. It's watchable but be warned.

The Secret of Superman- For some reason a Doctor wants to know if Superman is actually an employee of The Daily Planet. It appears that Clark's plan to report on Superman's activities to stay employed may have backfired. The Doctor has a special mind control drug left over from World War II, known as Amytal, that opens a victim up for suggestion, so he goes around dosing all the main characters. None of them of course know anything. But when he gets Lois she gives him enough details to point the finger at Clark. We never learn why he wanted to know this. Clark even fakes being hypnotized by the drug, but doesn't learn anything. The punchline of the episode is the Doctor getting gunned down by police before he can act on the secret of Superman. But Lois was also exposed to the secret, and when she is brought out of her trance, she doesn't remember anything and the credits roll. It's an okay episode without a clear cut explanation about things. Clark is "fired" to lure in the bad guys, but Jimmy Olsen doesn't know this and keeps interfering, eventually endangering everyone. This is the first episode I've seen where Superman flies without the tradition music. There is a good moment when Clark suggests their chief, Perry White, might be Superman and he immediately reacts with, "not in those tights". We do get to see Jimmy's mom, Clark appears to need to sleep, Jimmy likes to eat at Jerry's Diner, and Perry White keeps a file on Superman. He's probably trying to figure it out, too.

No Holds Barred- Now, this is an episode. A wrestler named Bad Luck Brannigan has been doing unconventional moves in no-holds-barred matches, which permanently cripples his opponents. Seven top wrestlers are put in the hospital and Perry White is tired of reporting on it. He smells trouble with the whole thing and sends Lois, Clark, and Wayne (a college wrestler and friend of Perry's) to investigate. As it turns out Brannigan is being trained in a gym whose manager is trying to get a piece of the action in Metropolis' top gym by crippling their best wrestlers. He also has a secret weapon, Ramm from India. Ramm has been teaching Vulcan Nerve Pinches to Brannigan. At a game where Brannigan wins again, Wayne can't take anymore and challenges him to a match the following week. Superman gets involved and learns that Ramm also has the healing touch power of Mr. Miyagi. Clark then spends a week training Wayne how to withstand it, much to anger of Lois who believes he will be crippled anyway. Lois is immediately attached to Wayne and thinks that Clark is trying to get him injured because he's jealous. Perry even accuses him of this, and it's strange to see Lois suddenly turn on Clark. The match goes without a hitch and Wayne defeats Brannigan. The bad guys realize Ramm must have tipped somebody off and go back to kill him. Superman arrives just in time and beats the crap out of the "evil" gym. Ramm goes out and heals all the crippled wrestlers. Amusingly, Ramm first thinks Superman is some kind of Genie. A great episode and the best of that month's.

The Dummy Statue Monkey Terror Birthday Experiment

2011-08-12T00:36:00.004-04:00

My intent in the past two blog postings has been to watch an episode of The Adventures of Superman every night and write about it. Essentially making a day equal to one week's worth of TV in the past. Superman being the only thing on at the time I can get my hands on from the era, that means I don't get to watch any other shows for months. Trust me, I did the math. So I'm stepping up my time-table a little by making each day worth a month of 1952 time. This will make more sense when the summer break of 1953 comes about and I don't have to waste a few weeks not watching anything (just a few days). Today's viewing consists of five episodes from October 1952.

The Case of the Talkative Dummy- The weakest of the bunch. It's Jimmy Olsen's birthday so Lois and Clark take him to a ventriloquist show where the dummy starts saying random things that freak out the performer. This is somehow involved with a series of armored car heists and The Daily Planet reporters get to work with police to solve the crimes. The reveal is kind of disappointing but the journey there is more interesting, setting up the future of how Jimmy and Lois get in trouble during investigations. There is a part where the bad guys had to drive an armored car into a larger truck and they really filmed setting up the ramp and driving. It's a very believable touch.

The Mystery of the Broken Statues- Two dapper thugs go around to knick-knack stores smashing all their cheap ceramic statues, but paying for it so the shop keepers don't ask questions. Lois gets wind of it and starts collecting statues ahead of the duo to determine what might be hidden in them. Of course she gets in trouble, but this is a much more interesting mystery. As it turns out several items are recovered out of the statues, not just what Lois finds. In a well-played but oddly-conceived scene Clark Kent solves the riddle of the hidden items by playing a word game on a chalk board that Adam West's Batman would have trouble solving. I guess Superman is a genius. I love the moment when Lois is being threatened to give up her piece of the puzzle and she smashes a statue in the dudes face to get away. Lois is a much stronger character than I remember, which is good for everyone.

The Monkey Mystery- A somewhat convoluted episode about Maria, a daughter of a scientist, escaping Poland with a formula to protect America from something vaguely atomic, and the people chasing her. Somehow the bad guys set up an organ-grinder to pass information around using a monkey, named Pepe, dressed as Superman. If this doesn't really make sense, Pepe (who normally gives out fortunes on paper to children) accidentally passes Lois Lane the travel info of Maria. Lois guesses this is huge and goes out to meet her on a train, but gets caught up in the intrigue as both of them get knocked out, losing the formula. Then to cover their tracks the organ-grinder is killed for losing the message and a manhunt is put out for Pepe. This episode is actually funnier than it sounds and worth a watch. Maria is played by the same lady who played the deaf/mute housekeeper, Alice, in The Haunted Lighthouse. Things to look for are: Maria's father being caught and whipped by authorities, Maria's escape montage through Germany, Jimmy being beat up over the monkey, and Superman flying through a window to intercept a bullet from hitting Pepe. I like this episode and probably not for the right reasons.

Night of Terror- Lois Lane goes to a motel, for reasons that aren't readily apparent, to find a crime in progress. Once again she is beat up and captured by thugs. Her and the wife of the proprietor (already killed) work together as they try to figure out what's going on. It turns out this motel is 20 miles from the Canadian border and smugglers have been operating out of it. The real drama and tension comes from a frantic call from Lois to The Daily Planet asking for help, but being cut off at the last second. This leaves Jimmy (and later Clark) to piece together where she might be. The only reason the thugs don't kill her is that their boss is sending a hitman know as Babyface to take care of them personally. Jimmy has all the info but can't communicate it to Clark so he heads off on is own and is mistaken for the hitman. The writers had to add some road blocks to stretch out the tension. Jimmy writes Clark a note but it accidentally falls in the garbage, and Perry White's personal secretary can't be bothered to remember important details because she doesn't think anything Lois, Clark or Jimmy do is important. I could almost see the desire in Clark's eyes to punch the crap out of the lady for endangering Lois with her incompetence. Superman does beat up a room full of bad guys and that's a lot of fun to watch.

The Birthday Letter- Sometimes the writers just want to tell a kids story, so this one is about a crippled girl, Kathy, who wants to go to an amusement park for her birthday, but can't because she's crippled. And something about her mom working all day to support them. So Kathy writes a letter to The Daily Planet for Superman to come visit her and take her instead. Lois decides this would make a great human interest story and writes the piece hoping Superman will notice. At the same time Kathy gets a wrong number telling her a time and place to be, which ends bad for the caller as he is gunned down in a drug store. The plot then shifts to the point of the story where a French crime couple are trying to buy counterfeit plates of French money. They learn the girl has the info and dress up their brain-addled ex-boxing associate to put on the worst Superman disguise ever and kidnap the girl. They threaten her, but buy her toys and candy until she remembers the whole message. As you can guess all the bad guys are caught and Superman ends the episode flying Kathy to the park while people on the street point and cheer. Not the best episode, but Superman proves to be acid proof when he recovers the printing plates from a vat of acid, barehanded. An okay episode.

The only real sci-fi in these are once again the presence of Superman, an alien. All the plots are basic, criminals trying to do crime, not realizing Superman is around. I do like seeing him fight as knives break on him and bullets do nothing. One good punch from him and people are out. George Reeves is a lot of fun to watch and his Clark Kent plays with the other characters by almost hinting he is Superman. Jimmy asks him in one of the episodes how he knew something and Clark says, "because I have X-Ray Vision like Superman". There is really only one piece of music (the main theme) for him which kicks in as soon as he starts flying. The rest of the music is generic but functional. It's been a long time since I watched any of these episodes and they are worth the time to watch 'em. Except maybe that talking dummy episode.

The Haunted Lighthouse Experiment

2011-08-10T22:09:00.003-04:00

The second episode ever to air of The Adventures of Superman, on September 26, 1952. I also don't remember ever seeing this episode. As a science-fiction show the only aspect of it in this story is the presence of Superman. Other than that this is a cut and dry mystery surrounding reporter Jimmy Olsen.

The point of the episode revolves around Jimmy on vacation in Maine. He meets his Aunt and his cousin, the latter of which wants nothing to do with Jimmy. He is then told not to go near the beach or lighthouse. Seeing as those are the only two things of interest on the secluded island, and the Jimmy is a reporter, he starts poking around when the lighthouse light starts revolving (even though it's been out of commission for 20 years). Throw in a deaf and dumb house maid who is trying to tell Jimmy something and a disembodied voice calling for help, and you have a completely overloaded, confused and terrified Jimmy.

When Jimmy calls Clark the line on the island is cut, prompting Superman to visit. Then the whole mystery surrounding everything comes to light. Superman even beats up a dude and rescues Jimmy from being drowned in a cave. There's something engaging about the story because I never thought Jack Larson, who plays Jimmy Olsen, actually had range for his character and been given something to do. The DVD even has commentary for this episode which I watched immediately after. Even some bloopers get pointed out.

Of note is a moment when a character begins to realize Clark Kent looks just as handsome as Superman, but Clark immediately changes the subject. Great moment. Even the creepy voice heard throughout the episode is explained. I can't recommend this episode enough, unless you hate Superman, 50's TV or fun.

The Superman on Earth Experiment

2011-08-09T19:47:00.001-04:00

I am constantly playing around with ideas for this Blog. On my want list for blogging subjects is Science Fiction, so I made a list of TV shows to watch stretching way back to 1952, and review them as if they were new. Today is a practice run for which I watched the very first episode of The Adventures of Superman from September 19, 1952.

As a proper origin story should, the episode starts on Krypton then ends with Clark Kent getting his job at the Daily Planet. We get to see him grow up a little and then move to Metropolis. And as any proper Superman story he puts on the super-suit and saves a life. He even uses the moment to ensure a job as a reporter.

I don't think I've ever seen this episode before. Any fan of Superman (or 50's TV) should watch it. Each new series of Superman to come out tends to have their own version of Krypton and Jor-El. No one will listen to his warnings of Doomsday, that their sun is pulling Krypton out of orbit and they may only have days to live. They actually have about five minutes of screen time to live. Kal-El is put in the escape rocket and sent to Earth, immediately rescued by the Kents. The rocket (with baby Kal-El) is actually on fire for the scene and Eben Kent puts it out to save him. An impressive scene. The episode even mentions that Sarah Kent takes the blanket he was wrapped in for the trip and makes a "costume" for him. Very impressive since the material can't be destroyed, making her an accomplished clothier.

This series is its back-and-white glory. Special effects are rough, but it's fun to see Superman fly and save the day. I chose to start watching Sci-Fi TV with this series because it's the earliest show to be in its entirety, and available for consumption. Prior to The Adventures of Superman was a theatrical release from 1951 called Superman and the Mole Men, which acted as a pilot. This movie was eventually made into two episodes at the end of Season 1, which I will review in the proper episodic order. I'm working on finding this movie on DVD.

Call of Juarez

2011-07-04T12:44:00.002-04:00

The last Western game I played was Gun. It had a plot I needed to follow with an open world Wild West to roam around it finding side-quests and looking for gold. I thought it was kind of fun, but it was a little rough to play as it was an original Xbox game converted to 360. Call of Juarez is none of that, but much more intently Western. As a side note I should point out it's $20 from Games on Demand.

Call of Juarez is Spaghetti Western: the Game. This is the genre as conceived by Polish developer Techland. I don't think American Westerns are quite this dark in theme and storytelling. This is mostly narrative you are playing through, as there are no side-quests or any exploration but what is right in front of you.

What is right in front of you? You play one of two characters: Billy "Candle" who is unjustly accused of murdering his mom and step father; and, Reverend Ray who goes on a blood thirsty crusade as the Sword of God to hunt Billy down. The tale is told across 15 chapters where you alternatively run away as Billy, then for a couple chapters switch to the Reverend as you basically run through many of the same boards (sometimes with a time limit) to keep up with him. This is both good and bad, because each tackles the road ahead differently. Billy can go stealth by hiding in bushes and creeping around, as well as having a whip that aids him in climbing. The Reverend has gun skills and just blasts his way through things. Only in one spot did it seem lazy when the Reverend has to move through a mountain pass you already played as Billy, killing the same enemies you just cleared out. Each character has a hard past, some of which comes out when the character you are playing talks to you. Billy was abused a lot and The Reverend wasn't always of the Lord.

There is gold in this game. Legend has it that the Aztecs payed a ransom for the release of Montezuma but the gold was lost in what is now Juarez, Mexico. The Call of Juarez is a curse that draws men to search for this gold. Billy just prior to the start of the game went to Juarez to find it, but failed, little realizing that his mom had given him a necklace and a nursery rhyme to help him. Through the game the hunt for the gold by others will drive Billy back to Juarez to find it, and his real father. During the search for Billy, the Reverend will have an epiphany that maybe he isn't the most righteous of individuals, and maybe Billy needs help. Some of this is told though narration during load times that are blessedly short.

To round out this Western you will pretty much see one of everything you think you are supposed to, except John Wayne. You will have a good number of run-ins with bandits in the hills. There will be a fight on an ambushed train. You will get to ride a horse and eventually chase a carriage to save a girl. There are Texas Rangers so you will be in Texas. Juarez is in Mexico, so you will also get to be in Mexico. You will get in duels. There is a Mexican mansion that reminded me a little of The Alamo. There is a church with graves that hide a treasure. And you will meet Apaches, on the wrong side of their guns. One of which is Calm Water, a medicine man. You must pay him back for saving your life.

There was a moment in Gun when my character was on a carriage or something and an Apache (I think) attacked me with a tomahawk. I shot him point black with a shotgun on gamer instinct. I immediately felt really really bad. I rarely have guilt for ending a character for trying to end me. I didn't have a choice, though. I couldn't negotiate with him, his only programming was to kill me. But with the weight of history in my head I sort of thought maybe he had a right to try to kill me, he wasn't a gameplay obstacle. I don't think killing anyone in a game has bothered me so much, except that mission in Grand Theft Auto III when you have to use a flamethrower in China Town. Here I am again as Billy, trying to negotiate a mountain pass and Apache's have set up multiple ambush parties. Then they started shooting at me, and my first thought was, "who sold them guns"?

You do have to play this story, it is a game after all. There are some hit or miss ideas in here, but for the most part it's solid. What works is the Reverend's gun play with "bullet time", and exploration work with Billy. What doesn't is the dueling system (it just seems odd), platforming with the Reverend (you have to stack boxes), and stealth missions. There are a couple missions with Billy that are totally Tomb Raider inspired, which I found fun because it's you against the environment. He can also carry a Bow and there is a whole chapter dedicated to you using it on Silver Mine thieves. Dueling just didn't work for me, but when you die you can restart at the duel and not waste time. Platforming is difficult when you have to line up boxes just right. But, it feels like you're gaming the system, not solving the puzzle. Some stealth missions (Billy only) will take a minute and involve you hiding in a bush for a moment; others will take several minutes, and are excruciatingly boring when you don't know what the goal is.

Visually the environment is its own character. I love the look of the West. Unfortunately I use a 6-year-old DLP 1080i TV with bad contrast and all the levels set in the dark were unplayable. I can set the brightness up in-game but it just washes out the color and looks muddy. I don't know how much was the game or my TV but I suspect the weight of the issue was in the game. I played dark levels in Earth Defense Force 2017 with only a little trouble.

Even though you are just playing through the plot of the game there is a lot to like, which is to say the story. There is a gaming thing attached where you can collect wanted posters to unlock Super Hard mode or get an achievement. Once again there was no real incentive to play on a harder difficulty, so I knocked it out on Easy to for a more relaxed game. The only replayability is to do it again on Super Hard. There was some multiplayer options that didn't really appeal to me, so I didn't try them. Before Red Dead Redemption there was Call of Juarez. It's a decent game that gets over the pitfalls of Gun and has an even better story. Play it for $20, it's worth it.

Earth Defense Force 2017

2011-07-01T12:27:00.005-04:00

I love this game. As soon as I started the first level I was hooked. This was a budget title release in 2007 for $40, but I downloaded it from Games on Demand for $20. The sequel, Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon, is scheduled to be out in the next week, so I wanted to catch up on this title. There are pure ideas in this game that I don't know if they can be done in a higher-budget sequel by a different developer.

Earth Defense Force 2017 is about an alien invasion of overwhelming insect and robot forces, known as the Ravagers. You are Storm 1 and in proper third-person you will run around and shoot every alien in sight, from the insect horde, to city destroying robots, to troop transport ships and many others. It's not a cover-based shooter, but you can hide behind buildings until something blows it up. This entire game is 53 levels of Gears of War 2 Horde Mode. It is exhausting and exciting, and draws you in as you are surrounded by a 100 giant ants all at once. Usually you are the last one standing from your unit.

Developer Sandlot managed to fit all this in less than a 2Gb download, but it certainly tasks the system. By the way, I hate to say this, but as much fun as it is, the game is deeply flawed. With so much happening at any one time the frame rate can barely keep up. There will be a dozen giant ants coming at you, two dozen ships in the air shooting at you or your team, a giant robot firing plasma bolts and drop ships sending in a dozen more ants and spiders to replace the ones you just killed. It is pandemonium. No wonder the Xbox 360 has trouble. The ideas are so ambitious for a budget title I really wonder if the system could handle it in full HD texture.

I could easily compare the bad designs in this game to Duke Nukem Forever, they both have many of the same issues, graphically I mean. The scenery is bland, but everything is destructible. There's nothing going on that looks to be in HD. There is so much clipping that aliens get caught in buildings and you often times walk through stuff. Dead aliens drop off collectibles, but they are 2D sprites like in Doom. What? Who still does that? There is no perpetual world, which means if you destroy a building, it will be there again in the next level. The missions either put you in a city (with Japanese signage), a hillside, a beach, or an underground nest (the worst idea in the game). I think developer Sandlot made one enormous level containing all of this and dropped you in the parts you need to fight. There are a litany of other issues I'm not getting into.

None of this matters. You will ignore most, if not all of the shortcomings. This game is so much fun on a fundamental level. Even the little details like bullets hitting the enemy, everything reacts a little different, but you know you're doing damage. As I played, it evoked movie moments from Starship Troopers, Independence Day, Aliens, Godzilla and even Battle: LA (even though that came out after this game). I want a game from each of these movie franchises that uses this game's engine. I bet this is exactly how the Battle of Klendathu went down. Google it.

There are five difficulty levels, from Easy to Inferno. The higher levels are impossible to get through, but here's where the game shines. As you kill Ravagers they might drop a health item, an Armor item, or a Weapon item. These last two are the ones you want, because at the end of the level the game tallies up what you collected and ads Armor to you overall stamina. You start with 200, but soon enough after a few levels you'll be at 300, then 400, then you start thinking about grinding for a while on a level to build up enough stamina to move to higher difficulty levels. After playing through both Easy and Normal I accrued over 2000 stamina. This builds up a good desire to replay levels.

But I forgot to talk about the weapons. There are 171 weapons in the game. You can use two at a time: I usually chose a machine gun and a rocket launcher (I'm a big fan of the Goliath D1). To get weapons, collect weapon icons, and at the end of the level the game will randomly decide which weapons you get. Not all weapons are available at the start, you have to be on or past a certain level and predetermined difficulty to receive most of the weapons. On Normal you can get 77 weapons. There is only one to get for beating Easy and all the rest are on the last three difficulties. With a combination of better weapons and grinding for more Stamina this game is suddenly winnable at the highest level. I can't think of another game in recent years that has me playing again and again just to build up enough strength to beat the hardest levels.

Even though a voice is telling you at the beginning of the level what to do, the plot of the game is a worldwide failure to fight the Ravagers. This is a real disconnect from what you are doing as you will hear that the mission is a failure but you win the level because you killed everything. Many times I thought I did something wrong, but it was just the plot in the background. Also in the background is your team. You can ignore them, but they do manage to kill a fair share of aliens, but if they all die it doesn't matter because you can always survive. I did feel bad every time they died because they tended to yell and scream on your radio. Take a hint from Independence Day, if you're trying to destroy something huge, wait for something to open on the underside and shot it with as many rockets as you can. Then get out from underneath it. Not that it will hurt you, but it looks awesome to shoot down a troop transport and watch it fall on buildings, leveling them. Explosions are intense and amazing. The screen will shake and dim, the controller vibrates, dust and smoke cover everything and the framerate craps out (which actually seems more realistic like you took a blow to the head). I even like the plasma bolts that dim the screen and look extra bright, as if they are washing out your field of vision.

The price is right and the gameplay is strong. Everything else is pretty bad, but that doesn't matter in the long run. Achievements don't stack. There are only six, one for each difficulty level and one for getting all the weapons. There are some great "Oh, s**t" moments most games don't have. Even the reveal on the first level when you see the Ravagers for the first time is unsettling. Sandbox did a great job of proving gameplay is the key to gaming. I will likely keep this game on my system and just grind levels for some time to come.

Dungeon Siege III

2011-06-27T19:04:00.007-04:00

Just because I'm taking a vacation from work doesn't mean I'm not playing games. This gave me the opportunity to play through Dungeon Siege III without feeling rushed, as I'm giving myself three or four days to finish a game. As a fantasy RPG I assumed I would need it. I bought the game from GameStop brand new at full price.

As an Xbox 360 user I am a bit of an Achievement nut, so after loading the game I went through the list to see what the game wants from me. A little disclaimer in how I played the game; there are three difficulty settings, but only one achievement for beating it on Hard. I didn't think this was the ideal way to play it the first time, so I opted for Casual, as Normal doesn't get you anything extra. There was one particular achievement that caught my eye, Perfectionist, which is about completing the game and all the side missions. As it turns out the side missions all appear on your in-game map but I used a list to make sure I didn't miss any. That was the only amount of assistance I used in the game.

Well, that and a list of where all the books are that explain the entire backstory of the franchise. There is a brief history on the land of Ehb in the manual and the prologue of the game, but the game might have been better served if the player knew the world's history before going into it. I would be remiss in mentioning since this is a sequel the events from the previous games (Windows and PSP) are in fact covered. Some care was taken to craft the world to explain the motivations of all forces involved, up to and including the gods of the land, so that should be commended.

Like most games of this genre, the world is in chaos. You are one of the last few descendants of the Legion, the elite defenders of the realm in days gone by. Even though they were the most powerful force of good in Ehb, they somehow failed keep some hot, young illegitimate heir to the throne from using god-powers to decimate them and the land, as well as turn all honest folks against them. It's deeper than that, but on the surface you are trying to clear the name of the Legion which was hunted to extinction as well as bring order to the land. Nothing new there.

The draw for this game is playing a top-down Fantasy RPG dungeon crawler where you wander the land, beat up evil and collect as much loot as possible. It's even a feature on the back of the box. The developers want you to collect incrementally better and better gear as you play. I like min/max-ing my armor and weapon choices as I play a game, but I don't like a game that either focuses on it, or tailors the world to make me do it. When you switch to better equipment it should look and feel like your character is better, and I never did, except seeing damage numbers above enemy heads. I also had the feeling that enemies scaled with you, almost defeating the purpose using gear to an advantage. Equiping seems easy at first, but you get companions that have to be equiped as well, and it becomes clunky dealing with them as you can only use one of them at a time. Upgradeable between levels are personal powers and character mods, but you never get enough points to put into everything, so I always felt at a loss when I had to choose one of many different things.

I have played any number of RPGs, and this game seems to have taken a number of mediocre ideas from other games and merged them into one. Every aspect of Dungeon Siege III I have played elsewhere and better. That's not to say it's is bad, just that it's bland. Borderlands and Too Human did a better job of the item collecting game. Dragon Age: Origins and Knights of the Old Republic did the character ability tree better. Diablo did better with top-down camera angle. Baldur's Gate did better with the dungeon crawling. It feels like a blender was used to list the features this game should have. The sad thing is it's a decent game, but just misses shy of the mark in so many ways. I want to know why games that let you carry 20 different suits of armor for four characters suddenly imposes a limit. Just let me carry everything, or put a box somewhere in the world I can store my things in. I hate RPG item management.

The camera is always over your head, but can be moved a little closer to behind and above your head. This never lets you see what's in front of your character. Ehb is a lush looking world at times from a forest village, to a Steampunk city, to a snowy mountain pass, to a Dwarven mine with shiny crystals and floating rocks. I wanted to see all these things from a first person perspective and enjoy the details, but the god-like view made much of this impersonal. But then, a lot of times the detail wasn't that sharp when you could look at the environment close. This could easily have been an original Xbox game. If Dungeon Siege were presented like an Elder Scrolls game it would have been much better.

If you are worried that an open world would be hard to manage with this camera, then you'll be relieved to know you can't go anywhere off the beaten path. This is almost the perfect definition of Invisible Walls. There is no freedom to wander and no need to back track unless you think you missed something. If you get disoriented after a battle, a Fable II dotted trail will lead you to the next destination. It's hard not to figure out what to do. I'm not sure this is a good thing. Dragon Age: Origins was the same way but I could call my own shots with an overworld map to decide what to do next. This freedom is gone.

There are four characters to choose from the start, but the only one that appealed to me was Reinhart, a mage with the power over electricity that had spinning gears on his clothes. All the interactive dialogue is presented like a BioWare game, with voice acting and a conversation wheel. There were plot elements to choose from that did feel like it effected the game, and all this came from talking to NPCs. The sad thing is the character animation was flatter and less interesting than Fallout 3. I suppose I should be happy characters blink. Conversations always seem an abrupt change to events unfolding as you run around. At least there are no load times to speak of.

I am spoiled by Final Fantasy of days gone by when it comes to cut scenes. There aren't any. Well, there are these nice sepia-toned art pieces that act as segues between major events, that are able narrated by a character named Odo. I really wish Rene Auberjonois had voiced him. It just would have made sense. The voice did a decent job, too. It is weird hearing your own character talking back after choosing a response. However, when I did manage to see my character's face, he wasn't talking, just a voice coming from his head. Cheap shortcut. And what is it with games that change what you say after you respond? There was even an L.A. Noire moment where I needed to judge if someone was lying, and there was no way the facial animation had that level of detail to it.

Fighting is handled in real-time with some minor cool-down of defense spells. You have a life bar, you have a magic bar, what else do you need? How about grinding? Unless you want to game the system; save, then reload in a wilderness area to force enemy to respawn. Rinse and repeat. At least your companion is good enough to revive you when you fall during battle, so being overwhelmed isn't such a chore.

The bright shining light I found in this game was the town of Stonebridge. Inhabited by both humans and Goblins (I think they were supposed to be Gnomes), the entire town is Steampunk with moving gears on buildings and robot police walking the streets. It is the most fully realized idea in the game. From its history to the economy and technology. There is a Foundry underground that powers the entire city and you have to investigate it when it goes silent. I wish every town and hub in the game was made with this level of care.

This franchise could use an update of some sort. I have nothing against the story as they have filled a lot of history over the last 150 years of in-game time since the last game. I need something more out Dungeon Siege, though. I wanted to be wowwed by the locations, spend hours picking the right piece of armor, or grind for a while until I could face down a boss on my terms. Everything in this game is adequate, except the voice acting and the music which are above average. I like the world, I just want a better use of it. And who the heck is the person on the cover?

Duke Nukem Forever

2011-06-23T16:55:00.010-04:00

After three days of concerted effort and a little lost sleep, I finally put the game to rest. My goal, get the achievement for sitting through the end credits. The task, to finish one of the worst reviewed games I have ever played. So much has been written about the issues with Duke Nukem Forever, I don't feel like treading over a well-worn path. I would instead like to share some of the good things about this game that may be overlooked. Then again, "good" is a relative word.

First off, Duke Nukem Forever is technically a video game. I like video games, therefore on some level I automatically like playing this game. As an FPS I like the familiar controls and you get most of the achievements on the Xbox 360 version (and I assume trophies for PS3) just playing it through once on Normal. The chapter structure of the game does allow you to replay older levels looking of Ego boosting items which are added to your current campaign play, Ego being your life meter.

Second, you are moving through the narrative one chapter at a time, like most FPS's these days, and each level has at least a few seconds where there is good gameplay to be had. For instance a driving level requires you to race down a busted freeway, then at key scripted moments you have to dismount and find gas cans while having a running gun fight in an old western town. One of the better moments in the game, as is the final endgame escape from Hoover Dam that reminded me of the end of the first Metroid.

Thirdly, The voice work of Duke Nukem is the best dub-work in the game and tends to fit everything that's going on. There must be two dozen one-liners worth of material as you shoot every one in sight. This is the most entertaining part of the game. I tend to comment on my games as I play them (which might be a habit I developed in the early 90's from Duke anyway), so it was quite relaxing not to have to use my own one-liners. At one point we both (Duke and I) said the same epithet at the same time. Quite invigorating. And this voice work is used to make lots of action movie, pop-culture references. Some make fun of much better games, but I thought it was slightly more clever than rude. Many, however, didn't like all the derisive comments to Half Life, Halo, and Gears of War, but since I didn't take this game seriously (as much as the game takes itself super-seriously) I wasn't offended.

Number four, the disc starts with slo-mo rolling craps dice showing all the different game companies involved, while generic heavy metal plays in the background, that fits the character style but is woefully lost after the American flag-waving title screen. Also, after you complete the game, you unlock some extras that include a complete time line of the 15+ years of game development.

Last on the list, The final boss fight was actually on the fun side of challenging. Once you learn the attack pattern, the battle is a rewarding challenge to get through, even in the hectic end-game with everyone shooting at you without any cover. Almost every other boss fight felt cheap on some level, to the point most defeats are just pure luck. The first boss fight is kind of handed to you though.

There is so much wrong in between these little things that I can barely recommend Duke Nukem Forever to anyone, unless they have a morbid curiosity of the triple-breasted alien-queen or the one-eyed snake boss battles. The sexual innuendo, and not so blatant sex acts, are kind of funny the first time, but just get worse as the game goes on. The aliens want revenge for Duke kicking them off the planet in the last game, so they show up to kidnap every hot babe, with large mammary glands, in sight. This upsets Duke greatly who, instead of killing every alien around to save the Earth, only wants his favorite girls back, the Molsen Twins (named for the beer I suppose... oh wait... those girls from that show... ewww). Something like that, as the plot really isn't any stronger than that.

As you start to see bad things about the game it cascades into deeper and deeper issues. The load times between levels, or checkpoint reloading after you die again and again, are unbearable. I can't think of another game this generation that has had loads in excess of 30 seconds each. At least the load screen gives you half-a-dozen pithy messages to help you play better: "if you fall to your death, it's your own fault", "while being shot at, avoid bullets" and "If you are stuck look up a game FAQ online". I think original Halo had some load times… on the first Xbox. And what is it loading? The graphics form in the first few seconds on the new level, instead of being ready AFTER 40 SECONDS. In the mean time you're playing around in a world of grey clay models. That is if the framerate doesn't drop to the unplayable level of 1fps or slower. Only happened a couple times, but you suffer greatly. Not that the game looks to be in HD, but more like a slightly better rendered Xbox game. For some reason all the colors seemed very bland to me, some levels almost seemed like black and white. Maybe that was my TV, but there was no gamma controls in the options, only brightness.

The non-Duke voice acting is awful, as is the character models and the no-dimensional characters, except maybe the kid who general seemed excited to get your autograph in the first level. And the use of NPC's gets horrific when you're expected to smack webbed-up dead bodies to drop ammo you need. I won't get into the naked, bondage babes that suffer the indignity of Chest-Bursters from Alien, all screaming and crying, making for an ugly level to endure. Okay, so I did mention it. Sorry. I'm trying to warn anyone playing this game what to expect.

It's not all shooting pigcops and tentacle-brain things, there is also platforming. It is really hard to implement good platforming in an FPS (see Portal for a perfect gameplay example) and Duke Nukem Forever wasn't even close. Most of the time I didn't even know where the game wanted me to go. I just went somewhere and died, then tried again in a different direction. This becomes even more of a pain in the ass when you get shrunk to doll size. I don't remember that in the original games, but it is so out of place here. Why is that even something aliens would use against me? Shooting at me was doing the job just fine. Why shrink me so I can be eaten by rats? Such an uninspired idea. It's all scripted, too, so it's not like you can choose to shrink to solve one of the few platforming puzzles in the game.

But, many times you are just fighting aliens, so you get locked in a room where you can be jumped from anywhere. I especially hated the jet-pack people that teleport when shot and appear behind you to teleport again when you shoot them. There's a special place in hell for the dude that thought that one up. Or some gorilla looking dudes come running at you in a such a crappy framerate you can't even shoot them before tackling Duke. Don't worry, there are also a couple turret moments to make you annoyed with something new. I did enjoy the one on-rails turret area that seemed right out of Modern Warfare. Then again you have unlimited ammo and I don't think you can die, which is even more irritating than normal. Your screen cracks red, you can't see what's happening, then another load screen pops up.

Much of what you are seeing and doing seems haphazardly put together, like lots of different people had lots of different ideas for lots of different gameplay, but never enough time to polish anything, so everything got thrown in the blender without thought. Deadlines must be a b***h in the game development world. If they never come out with another sequel that would be fine, but if one company can do one game in a couple years it would be a vast improvement. The best I can say is it's good for achievements. But, for those that track these things, the "jiggle physics" is well realized.

Red Faction: Armageddon

2011-06-21T14:59:00.005-04:00

Every year more sequels are pumped out by studios (movies, video games, etc.) and during the build up to an iterative release there is always a voice or two speaking of sequel exhaustion. Then comes the additional request for more first-time IPs. In the case of video games I think sequels should hold just as much hope for a good gaming experience as original releases. Most games have a dozen or two hours of campaign gameplay where a player is the character. When I finish a game, often times I'd like to see what happens next in the world, with or without that original character. So I equally welcome a sequel as well as new properties as long as the gameplay is solid and rewarding.

This brings me to Red Faction: Armageddon, the fourth game in the series. I became attached to the world on Mars I helped liberate in the last game, so I looked forward to a continuation of the time line. Armageddon takes place a century later, with the descendants of Alec Mason still fighting along side the Red Faction against the Earth government for freedom of Mars. So, apparently I, as Alec Mason, did almost nothing in the long run. I know there is a TV movie that probably explains all this, but at the start of this game a home-grown radical religious group, that hates the Mason family for some reason, sets about destroying the Terraformer that has maintained all the atmosphere on Mars for a century (or more).

You, Darius, are the latest generation of Masons to fight the good fight, not well liked by the Red Faction and apparently kind of a joke. In the course of the game you will become the hero your name represents. However, you still have the NanoForge as a full developed wearable tool, with a built-in AI (named Sam, a connection to the Marauder of the same name who helped in the last game), which gives you the power to destroy and rebuild in a matter of seconds. This makes you a better asset than any other character in the game, and you are treated as a joke and a pariah, which doesn't sit well with me at all. However, for the sake of gameplay it's a great addition. So is the banter between you and Sam, as the AI becomes the best realized character in the game, but that's not saying much.

There are other nice little references to the last game: a Taco franchise from Parker, the first sector you liberate; plenty of left over EDF supply crates just lying around; another female protagonist (Kara) that is a Marauder; the Ultor corporation comes up in the plot; you have the iconic sledge hammer, again; and many more. You still use Scrap as a kind of currency and it is way easier to see them against the background than before. Here, though, it seems out of place as barrels of scrap are just laying around everywhere and not contextually built into the game as before. You can use scrap this time to buy abilities for yourself like an RPG skill tree, with a growing progression of Rings that enhance your NanoForge talents. I really like this, but it doesn't mesh with the narrative again.

Speaking of plot, this is called Armageddon because you are tasked with saving the Martian colonial population from indigenous creatures that nobody knew about, except the aforementioned religious group that unleashes it. This removes the game from the standing theme about revolution and puts it right up against the likes of Gears of War. This is not an open-world game at all, but a third-person, plot driven shooter that has you move from one chapter to the next. No backtracking, no choices, no freedom. Red Faction and Red Faction II (both FPS's) were in this vein, but Armageddon seems uninspired from the step forward that Guerrilla represents. Halo 3, Gears of War, and Modern Warfare are all built on this structure, and each has its own unique take on the shooter genre. Armageddon comes off a bit bland; lackluster set-pieces, controls that are too jumpy to allow good targeting, and characters that are a little too generic and under-developed. The only interesting angle in the game that isn't explored is the fact you are killing all the actual Martians and the humans (all Martian-born at this point) are aliens.

Where Armageddon is strongest is in the physics engine. It is awe inspiring to watch structures shatter under your destructive control. You will very likely destroy a key element to your continuation so you also have the ability to rebuild things. This isn't utilized enough because it is quite fun. Odds are in the dank, dark confusing-but-linear level design you will get turned around by the same three creatures attacking through most of the game. To help you through this you have an instant GPS that gets you sorted out. This gets so repetitious, however, that there is an auto-target button to make it easier. This is to simulate another ability; that Darius has instant reflexes. He is head-and-shoulders better than every other human living on Mars. You will kill hundreds of native Martians, cultists and even fight a couple mechs hand-to-hand, and at the most desperate hour of the human race on Mars, you will be arrested because some officer doesn't like you. I should probably also point out the sounds of all your weapons are well realized, even to the point of making a rattling noise when your magazine is almost empty, to remind you to reload. Too bad many of the firefights are boring.

There are other things to do with this game than the single player campaign. An Infestation mode is included which is basically Horde Mode from Gears of War II. You need to survive 30 waves of the indigenous Martian horde coming at you or defending a spot as they try to destroy it. The fact that everyone playing can repair damage instantly actually provides a fresh gameplay mechanic to a boring implementation of someone else's idea. But as it is not strongly supported by achievements I didn't play much of this mode.

There is technically a Zero Day DLC in the form of Ruin Mode which is pretty fun as you are unleashed to destroy things in the environment. You have a time limit to do as much damage as possible, which in turn unlocks new boards. How you download it, however, is a bit misleading. This is one of those premium ideas designed to make you want to buy it brand new. You input a code, but it won't download. Since you can't download things while playing a game (unless it's Rock Band or Guitar Hero in my experience), Ruin Mode won't work until you quit out of the game, wait for confirmation, then start it again. Something is really sloppy here. The file in question is about 100KB, which means you are downloading a key to unlock content already on the disc, the worst kind of DLC. Not worth the effort to get it, even for free, without achievement support.

Lastly there is Mr. Toots. A secret weapon you unlock by finishing the game (even on Casual as I didn't see a point to playing it at a harder setting) that has to be seen to be believed. Very destructive and way out of place for a pseudo-Space Marine game. Picture how someone might use a My Little Pony as a beam weapon. But there is reason to play a second time through, called New Game Plus, that lets you carry over all weapons and unlockable abilities from the first run through, thus making Insane difficulty a little easier. Plus, there are new weapons and cheats to purchase that don't ruin achievement progression and make a second play more enjoyable.

My criticisms may seem a bit harsh as I found the game fairly enjoyable. Only a couple spots have weird shifts of gameplay that become chokepoints until you learn the new rules, but there are some great things happen during gameplay. I don't feel the game is worth the full $60, but as I got it on discount (see my previous blog), $40 seems about right. GameFly it or borrow it from a friend will work too. I would like to see the next game get back to its revolutionary roots. Maybe Red Faction: Vendetta where the "V" stands for "5"?

Full Disclosure

2011-06-20T00:32:00.003-04:00

I understand that in the interest of full disclosure if one is to review a product, say a video game, one is to disclose the manner of acquiring said object to allow readers the chance to put the opinions in perspective. With that in mind I'd like to cover my behind by describing the circumstances of my recent video game reviews. But, in case no one is following my rambling, I will explain why I think this desire exists. I suppose at some point in the past someone promoted a game, movie or cell phone without ever explaining it was given to them for free and that no matter how bad it was, that's pretty cool with them. Conversely, if someone paid full retail price for an item and it sucked, they may be inclined to really hammer home that it sucked. This latter scenario seems more reasonable to me as that is how most people acquire things, at full price. Now there is some nifty middle-ground where a person might get a mediocre product at half price and that actually creates a more positive environment than it normally would have. I only write this in case you have never heard of this before and wonder how I interpret the need to contextualize the review experience.

L.A. Noire: I bought it at full price from a local Best Buy and received a $10 gift card for, I assume, being a prompt customer purchasing a new videogame within a week of release. I had no idea about receiving a gift card until purchase time and I never let it figure into my feelings about the game. It is worth the normal $60 and the value increases for any discount you might get on it. If this had a special edition for $100 with Fedora then I would have been all over it.

Red Faction: Guerrilla: Having jumped through some hoops online back in early 2009 I had the chance to play the multi-player beta. I won't lie, I was enamored with a chance to play a game before release, and to take a Q & A session to help before it was ready for prime time. I thought the beta could have used a little help, but, overall I liked the game enough to declare, even if it sucked, I would buy the game. When it came out I bought it from GameStop at full price (upsetting the staff as I wasn't trading anything in or buying a used copy that was $5 cheaper) and shelved it assuming I would get to it soon. Sadly I didn't, but with recent release of Red Faction: Armageddon I cracked the seal on the older game and played it. I think it stands to reason the if the game is still good after two years that it is a really solid third entree into the franchise.

Red Faction: Armageddon: I bought some special edition something or other for Xbox 360 and was given a $20 gift card to Target for my troubles. I've had this gift card for a while and finally decided to use it. I won't reveal my feelings on this game yet, as I finished it about 24 hours ago and it's still gelling in my head. But I will say getting a discount on this game can only work in its favor.

Duke Nukem Forever: I am old enough to have actually bought a Duke Nukem game for a previous console, and I felt moderately enthused that it was okay. That would be the Nintendo64 version of Duke Nukem. I have heard nothing but vitriol about this new game that indicates it probably never should have existed, but instead it hung in there for more than a decade to shake the vapor-ware attribute. I bought this today at Best Buy using a couple of gift cards to make the final price around $40. I have only played this game for a few hours but I can confidently say I think I payed too much for it. I will hold all the rest of my opinions until I find the end of it, but my will might atrophy.

Red Faction: Guerrilla

2011-06-17T14:32:00.004-04:00

Yes, I'm writing about an older game. I had the opportunity to play the multiplayer beta test for this game back in early 2009 so I bought the game in June of that year and somehow never ended up playing it. With the new release of Red Faction: Armageddon I felt I should play the older one first, just in case the story carries over in some way. Even if it doesn't, this is a decent game, even two years later.

You play Alec Mason, in a third-person role, of a miner looking for work on Mars. In the space of one cut scene you lose your brother and get caught up in the Red Faction, a group of freedom fighters who resist the generic totalitarian regime of Earth. The story ain't the strongest but it has all the elements you want in science fiction, which definitely comes off as a future western. Even down to the Native American analog of The Marauders. I wish the history of the colonization of Mars was covered better, because there are already ruins of the previous industrial antagonists, The Ultor Corporation, and "natives" living in them. I'm sure this was already covered in Red Faction (2001) and Red Faction II (2002), but I didn't play them much. There is also the threat of a space battle ship from Earth that can vaporize targets from orbit on its way to Mars, the idea being the insurrection you are heading needs to succeed before its arrival. Unfortunately, since these parts of the game are scripted, you never feel like you're really under the gun.

There is a lot to like here; an open world Mars to help liberate. There are six sectors to liberate, by kicking the EDF out, and a gauge to show you how much control they still have. You need to get that down to zero to move onto the next sector by doing story missions, guerrilla missions (which you pick the ones to do) and random building destruction. Here is where the game is strongest, destroying buildings. But not just any building, but specially highlighted buildings, or any on your RADAR in red. You can just walk across Mars with a machine gun, remote charges and a sledge hammer, destroying any EDF structure you want. This is the hands-off approach to gaming I like. It's up to the player how to tackle the situation. There are a total of 20 story missions to do but there is still freedom in tackling them and how to accomplish the goal. This reminds me a lot of Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction (2005) in that respect, where you had a lot to do but it was up to you when and how to do it.

This is definitely a physics game; and glorious to watch, especially blowing up smoke stacks. Put a charge on one side, detonate it, then watch the whole thing topple over destroying what ever is under it. Everything can be destroyed so the game is tracking the structure as you damage it to see when it collapses. None of this is pre-rendered, it all happens on the fly and is very rewarding. The game is also quite forgiving when you get caught in the destruction. I blew up a building with EDF soldiers around me; they got crushed and I got up again to collect some scrap. Scrap is the in-game money which is left behind by wreckage or earned through various Guerrilla missions. You will use this to buy weapons and upgrades, like a better sledgehammer, a rocket launcher, or a jet pack. There are even vehicles to drive around which have their own mass to destroy obstacles. All in all a very satisfying experience.

For achievement completionists there are several things to collect from the environment, which can be done after the game, so no worries if you miss anything. There are 300 ore rocks growing out of the ground you can mine (i.e. smack it with your sledge hammer) for scrap which barely show up on your RADAR as small, dark red squares. The EDF keeps blue supply crates everywhere and there are more than 250 of them. Very faintly on RADAR you will see a green glowing dot which is one of 36 radio beacons to collect. And finally, there are big billboards advertising Earth propaganda of which you can find 50.

I found game play decent, but frame rate tended to drop when a lot was happening. Sadly when a lot is happening (destroying a building while being attacked from air and ground by a dozen troops) is when it hurts the most. However, this didn't happen enough to ruin the game at all. Shooting the enemy becomes routine, and never really that exciting, but blowing dudes up with charges and rockets, or hitting them with your sledgehammer is incredibly satisfying. All the missions are fairly well balanced except the final one which felt more like a Kobayashi Maru mission which you aren't expected to win. There are multiple difficulty settings but no benefit to choosing any but Casual, which near the end was hard enough. I'm not really covering the multi-player because I was far more interested in playing the story.

I hope the themes of revolution and independence from Earth play into Red Faction: Armageddon. I want these games to be connected somehow. I don't want them to feel separate even though they take place 100 years or so apart. But then again, SyFy put out the Red Factions: Origins made-for-TV movie to bridge the gap in between.

L.A. Noire

2011-06-12T23:18:00.006-04:00

It took some dedication this weekend, but I played through L.A. Noire and found the end credits. What a fantastic story. I loved every minute of it. This proves I can sit through hours of well built, in-engine cut scenes. The dialog track is excellent and I wish I could watch a TV series of this. Just a season, nothing more. But, I'm talking the narrative here. The story. Not the game play.

I am assuming you have played sandbox games before so you understand the language of Grand Theft Auto controls. It's that game play laid out on such a tight framework of story that argues against it being a sandbox. This may seem a harsh criticism for a title likely to make game-of-the-year, but the controls are just controls and when they fail to work, you notice it. In fact, the makers of the game knew people might not like the bits in between the story points so you can skip them if you want.

What does this do to the game? It makes it a series of events about looking for clues and interviewing people. These moments are so good it will carry you through the many hours of play you will need to dedicate. Sadly, there comes a point as you play that you realize you don't have to be good at anything, just poke buttons and you'll get to the end. That doesn't sound appetizing, but if you don't care about the story and just want to play a game, this might not be for you.

I was wrapped up in the main character from the start, and his wholesome value system contrasted with the corruption and bigotry of the LAPD, the underworld, returning vets, Hollywood and the business elite. He's trying to do good on the streets of LA and I could feel it as I played. But there is a deep seated darkness to the game that will take some willpower to suss out if you wish to take the game to its fullest. It's like reading a book, if you don't really care about it, why read it. You aren't playing L.A. Noire to race through the streets and gun down everyone in sight. You have GTA and Saints Row for that. This is a well realized work of fiction designed to show off the greatness of film noir story telling. And I felt like I learned something about LA.

L.A. Noire should be played by people who like the immersive world of games. This shouldn't be your intro into gaming, but it shouldn't stop anyone from at least watching it. I never felt irritated whenever a cut scene showed up. These were what I was working for, to learn the mystery. Or, like text adventures from the '80s, what did the writers want me to learn? How did they want me to jump?

All the focus of the new technology really comes down to The Interrogation. Almost every case has several moments where you have to question someone and decide on your own if they're telling the truth or lying. This is accomplished with the most sophisticated facial rendering hardware and processing to date. I haven't seen facial expressions from characters with this level of meaning since Enslaved: Odyssey to the West. I always felt everyone was lying, but you have to have evidence of a lie or you just doubt them. I could never seem to get it right. I refused to look online for the proper branching discussions because even in your failure it still seems to affect the world in some way. So I intended to live in the world I was shaping through lousy police work. But, when you nail a suspect it feels phenomenal.

Midway through the game I felt it was dragging a bit, once you get through the doldrums of murder investigation, the game perks up and I couldn't drop it for hours. You could sit there and tap whatever button they want you to press until the end. If that's what you're doing you're wasting your time. Sit up and take notice of 1947 LA and try to live the detective life to the fullest. Even if you fail sometimes, own it. The interactions when you get it wrong are as good as if you got them right. The experience of L.A. Noire is worth every penny.

Source Code

2011-04-01T23:21:00.004-04:00

This is not a review of Source Code. I will be doing that as part of Reel Junkies Episode 92 next week. This, instead, is my thoughts on the science-fiction of the movie, with as little spoilers as possible. I will no doubt leak some info as this movie is basically a mystery on a couple fronts. There is some serious super-science here, but at least Dr. Rutledge mentions quantum mechanics at one point, to help out. I'm betting he's even using a Quantum Computer, but it is never discussed.

The previews really sell this movie as a shoddy piece of science, that you can go back into the last eight minutes of someone's life and poke around trying new things. This is part of that mystery, "who bombed a train?" How can you possibly go into a dead person's mind to live their last moments, then make different decisions on each iteration until you solve a mystery? This is the other part of the movie, and not told entirely to my satisfaction. Mainly because Dr. Rutledge and Goodwin didn't realize the ramifications of their project.

The term "Source Code" is a misnomer, as well as thinking of this as The Matrix. The Source Code project implies that a single mind can be transferred, not into a computer construct, but an alternate realty, or a parallel universe. But only if your brain map and physical attributes are similar to the victim in question. This is more in keeping with Timeline (except you stay "you" in the Michael Crichton movie) where time travel is only possible by jumping to another universe where Earth happens to be in a previous era. This means that no amount of tampering will affect your future, as you aren't even in your own universe (except all the parts where Timeline needed it for plot convenience).

Now we're in Fringe territory which only deals with two universes. And Colter Stevens repeats those last eight minutes in another reality several times. There's a lot to think about here. At no time have scientists claimed that the Many-Worlds Interpretation in Quantum Physics could produce identical universes. There has to be a difference, but what ever it is in Source Code, it appears that by merely being sent to tamper in a repeat of the time-line you are in fact creating or existing in a parallel world.

I don't know how to get from the last brain activity of a dead man to using it as a conduit for exploring a parallel Earth, but that's what this movie proposes. (Maybe Jet Li's The One can shed some light on this). It may be that our consciousness exists across multiple universes and that connection is utilized. There was appropriate technobabble and I did like it. Computers seemed to be involved and there might have been some kind of virtual dataspace for Colter Stevens to exist in between missions, but every indication implies he is in another universe, but so close to ours as to be indistinguishable.

These other Universes also have the same sets of people right down the Source Code project experimenters. Maybe one will always leap into the closest matching world. Any divergences may be his own actions. Colter creates Worlds that already exist. Since each version of Earth has the same bad ending for the train (not a spoiler, you see it in the previews) then the events that lead to using Colter to replace Sean Fentriss also happen, which in turn may mean a paradox is created where he is only traveling to parallel worlds that the Source Code project will be in. The snake may be consuming his own tail.

There is an interesting resolution that I won't spoil here, but leads to more parallel world questions. With all the super technology on display I would think the government could just watch movies of all the train victims until they saw something suspicious. Not bad, though, for a movie about finding a terrorist. It's never stated, but by trying to save one time-line, many time-lines will likely be saved. Every crew of every starship named Enterprise has had to deal with this at least once. (Well, except NCC-1701-B, unless someone were to go back in time to try to save Kirk).

Of Sharks and Octupi

2010-10-07T19:58:00.004-04:00

I watched Sharktopus the other day. SyFy announced on Twitter it was "our most watch[sic] Sept movie ever". I have trouble putting up with their Saturday night B-movies like this. The best parts of this movie were the Bumpers (when the show came back from commercial) that had a quick message from the Destination Truth guy, who made fun of it. SyFy knew this movie was bad. They even made a special Sharktopus theme song. They mocked their own movie, ruining the only joy I normally get out of it.

A secret branch of the government makes a Sharktopus, already an unstable emotion creature, and puts an electro-shock control collar around its head to test it in open waters. It runs rampant killing as many bikini-clad girls as it can. People hunt it and many more people die. The best character was the VW Beetle the reporter drove around. I gave the first hour 100% of my attention. After that every minute I dropped 1%. I watched it die but I hovered around 55% interest. I’m so glad to get it off my DVR. Wasted ones-and-zeroes I tell you.

So, why did I watch it? Last week I got into a debate, by e-mail, with Tuning In To SciFi TV about the popularity of SyFy branded B-movies. I hate them. I think they hurt Sci-Fi fandom in general. How could new people to the genre watch Sharktopus and walk away saying they like Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror at all. The counter argument, that had never occurred to me, was that it is a gateway for non Sci-Fi fans to watch the channel, and these movies pay the bills. Really cheap junk B-movies help to fund their TV shows (currently Stargate Universe, Warehouse 13, Eureka, Haven, Sanctuary, and Caprica), all of which I really enjoy. There is a huge disconnect for me between their movies and TV shows. SyFy single-handedly made Battlestar Galactica relevant. I can accept this now and have moved on with my life. I will watch a SyFy movie that casts an actor I like, though, which is to say I’m a sucker for stunt-casting. Can’t wait for Red.

Stargate Universe is currently one of my favorite TV shows of the season, along with Fringe, Chuck, and (surprisingly) No Ordinary Family. Dr. Rush has been my favorite character since day one. He gets how bad “bad” is, and makes what others perceive to be questionable decisions, to save lives. This comes off a bit wrong only because he doesn’t waste time explaining himself, so he’s seen as a bit anti-social. (Not unlike the print version of Sherlock Holmes.) That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to get beat up every once in a while by Colonel Young, but it’s food for thought.

In the season premier everything from the cliffhanger wrapped up quickly in that hour, almost before we could figure out if it made sense. Instead of heading to the airlock and certain death, Scott and Greer hid on the “dark side” of the ship to survive the pulsar radiation. This makes sense to me, but Cloe’s magic healing leg needs to be explained at some point, not to mention she got all her blood back. We never really saw all the Lucian Alliance troops so they introduced new actors that weren’t in last season, since they let LDP kill Rhona Mitra’s character, Kiva. She’s now free to do The Gates. TJ’s baby-dream-sequence-thing actually worked for me since they had to account for Alaina Huffman’s lack of pregnancy. Now the show is like Star Trek: Voyager again but with a third faction on board; Military, Civilian and Lucian Alliance. Things were already shaky between Young and Camile, how will the new group cope.

At the end of the month a new vision of the Zombie Apocalypse hits AMC for six episodes of Walking Dead. The series looks great, even though it reminds me a little of the opening of 28 Days Later. I’m too impatient to wait so I bought the first Graphic Novel. Anything I say would be spoilers but this series is worth it. I’m not a huge Day/Dawn/Return of the Dead movie fan, but I love playing Zombie videogames and the book World War Z grabbed my attention fully. I’m even in the middle of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. The production values look high in this series and I hope it goes the distance. With six episodes it feels a bit like a mini-series, and I don’t want to wait until this time next year for season 2 and I haven’t even seen the first episode.

My only gaming has been Halo: Reach. Daily Challenges are very addictive, and I don’t even care that I’ve ignored the campaign. Maybe this weekend I’ll finish the game on Heroic, but I’m really enjoying all the multi-player offerings. Why is it that every 8-year-old on Xbox Live sounds exactly the same. Are there Microsoft clone children being grown somewhere whose only power is to whine about being shot virtually? The real world might know my pain if the try calling this public megaphone. All parents should secretly play their kids online just to see what its like. Plus every 8-year-old is better at it than me, so I’m bitter. Playing some more Halo now…

Dolls Check In But They Don't Check Out, Mostly

2010-10-05T00:38:00.000-04:00

I am addicted to podcasts. I like to think of them as pre-recorded radio shows I can listen to when I feel like it. It should come as no surprise then that I listen to videogame, tech and sci-fi podcasts. One of the sci-fi podcasts I really enjoy, with a simple premise, is “Tuning In To SciFi TV”. The name sums it up.

The three hosts, Wendy, Brent and Kevin, discuss the week’s Sci-Fi offerings on TV. I don’t get many chances at work to geek out about the latest episode of anything very often, but listening to them I get to hear what conversations I could have had. To support the community they also have contests and such. Up until last Friday they offered up a free copy of “Inside Joss’ Dollhouse: From Alpha To Rossum.” On a whim I entered and wrote a brief essay about which part of the Dollhouse world I found most interesting. I managed to win with the following…

“… the social implication of storing personalities on a hard drive. The Dollhouse created some restrictive rules of how this was to be applied, but every once in a while they lifted that restriction and the true brilliance of the show came forward. In the first season they showed us a form of immortality at the expense of others. The two Epitaph episodes showed what happens when all the rules drop. It's worth playing with the idea in your mind; if anyone can store their personality/soul in a hard drive for later use, then how does this change the equation of humanity. Each episode poked at that just a little, but a few times they ran with it, and it was brilliant.

Since this is a distinct possibility in the future, why not start thinking of it now. It's a different way of "becoming" someone else, not quite like The Game or Avatar, where you get to be "you" in that person for just a bit. In Dollhouse's case it’s more of an afterlife. Star Trek: The Next Generation inadvertently tapped into this idea with the Holodeck, when Geordi wanted Dr. Leah Brahms to help him fix a problem. Unfortunately, Star Trek couldn't go as far as Dollhouse with the idea, but Caprica can. It's actually the same idea as the Holodeck. Using recordings, and some fancy future algorithms of people with psych profiles and shopping histories, it’s all bundled into a single pattern that equals a person on enough levels that matter. That is the part of Dollhouse I like the most; when you transfer someone to a hard drive are they even human anymore, or can they be something even better, like Echo (uh, and not a Cylon).”

My musings meander a bit, and at some point I need to post something about the Enterprise-D’s ability to create life. In essence, though, Dollhouse can be a strangely uncomfortable show to watch because it’s tackling a tough issue that has barely moved out of Science Fiction yet. Dollhouse displays it prominently with a sexy attitude, which it slowly strips away to show the ugliness of uncontrolled super-science.

I currently have two gaming obsessions, Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock and Halo: Reach. The latter has finally bit me hard and I need to play it every day. The campaign is interesting enough but I have fallen for the allure of Daily/Weekly Challenges. Bungie creates new incentive to keep play Halo with four new things to do every day (and one new thing every week) to earn Credits (or XP as I like to think of it). All variations on a theme, but I need little convincing to keep coming back. I almost want Credits more than achievements, which is the usually driving factor for me to play many different games, and not playing one title into Oblivion. Gears of War II had me at Horde Mode. If more games start doing this I may have to figure out how to go about my day with less sleep.

Guitar Hero is a good enough game. All I want are songs to play for achievements and that’s what I got. I keep up my plastic guitar skill set and remember what good music used to sound like. I think I need a new drum kit, my Rock Band 1 drums are looking archaic. The game loads songs much faster but the narrative sometimes slows the action. There is a great moment I played through this weekend where you have to play the seven-piece Rush “Song Experience” of 2112. An epic song narrated by Rush themselves. Crazy.

However, before I back-up the Terabytes of information in my head, the price of Solid-State Drives needs to come down a bit. I’m not trusting my brain to a series of spinning platter. Oh, and Zombie mode is stupid in a Halo game.

Journey into Halo: Reach

2010-09-28T07:21:00.003-04:00

Saturday, a full 11 days after its release to the world, I loaded Halo: Reach into my 360. I read The Fall of Reach years ago, not to mention actually playing the original Combat Evolved, which means I know how this future Alamo allegory should end. There is something very depressing about that. Will the missions I'm handed make any difference? I'm not that guy who becomes the savior of the human race. I'm Noble Six and I'm on Reach, and so are the Covenant. A lot of them.

Parts of the planet glow from orbit. The superheated crust rippling the air with heat. A helmet, loose on the ground, attached to no one, a hole blown through the faceplate, presents a symbol of a lost battle. This could be the moment just prior to The Pillar of Autumn's arrival at The Halo, lightyears away.

Noble Six's time is numbered. He can't feel it but I can. Maybe he knows it as I do. It's just inevitable. He isn't easily welcomed into the Noble Team. But a mission is getting underway as he arrives. A comms tower is down and rebels in the population may be responsible. A recon team is sent to investigate, but a distress signal is later received. The Spartans of Noble Team are chosen to investigate. A bit of overkill, some think.

I have never been to Reach so an aerial tour on the new transport VTOLs of the frontier farming region is helpful. I know its not rebels and I feel like I'm seeing this beautiful landscape for the last time. Suddenly I'm on the ground and running through some terraced farmland into a courtyard with a burning Warthog. Nothing on radar but us. Exploring the farm house reveals plasma burns, not consistent with rebels. I knew it. Heat signatures in another farm draw us to terrified farmers, speaking a language I've never heard, describing some kind of creatures.

Moving to another part of the farm we find the missing recon team and some locals, all tortured. Something red on the radar. It ran off. Tense, waiting for enemy contact, but nothing. Securing the area we move out and engage a group of Grunts and Jackals in a courtyard, waiting for us. I faced them before, not as Noble Six though. They don't go down easy and my shields aren't as strong as I'd like. Suddenly I realize my scoped pistol is my best friend for ranges longer than about six feet.

The fighting ramps up more and more as we bring the fight to these Covenant. Checkpoint by checkpoint we push them back. Dropships bringing reinforcements but all along using every bullet I have to end them. I don't remember the last time I really worried about ammo while fighting the Covenant. The Jackals, sometimes solo and sometimes found in small packs, move fast, wasting your ammo, making you chase them. A difficult task even with the "Speed" armor ability. I have never been worried facing a Jackal before. But, if ammo is low, I can still hurt them with a weapon strike.

The weapons sound more real, the impact shock is more palpable. After rescuing a stranded unit, we were dropped into a courtyard and defended it, while Kat hacked a protective blast door. After a few minutes, and almost all my rounds, Kat shut the blast door, the silence from battle palpable. For the darkness I have NVGs, a far site better than Master Chief's flashlight. Reach isn't a bright place at the best of times, as the sky always seems dense with clouds. A ringed planet peeking through at times. The darkness doesn't seem so bad, but the Covenant are here, too. And they can see better than I.

We are in some kind of research station and the scientists have been killed. The daughter of the chief scientist is found hiding, but an Elite surprises our party and makes off with her. We pursue but she isn't our mission. We get the comms up and running enough to warn the outside world the Covenant is on Reach. They almost don't believe us, but they lost contact with an arctic station run by the Office of Naval Intelligence. We leave immediately but not before finding a data recorder of some sort on a scientist.

Flying in hot to ONI base we help them clear out the base. A few tries later and I start getting a feel for fighting these Covenant that don't die quickly, and don't run away either. All of this with the specter of an enemy ship high above the arctic base. They have tanks and air superiority. Just keep fighting on the ground to each checkpoint. Push them back or run past when I run out of ammo.

All in all a beautiful looking game/planet which I never have time to appreciate since we're being overrun. No victory feels like a victory. It feels like survival. We're not going to make it but at least some of them won't either. I wish I could just walk the world and see it. Explore it and interact with it in someway other than a bullet/needle/plasma/grenade. Even the space ostriches seem to beg you to slow down and take in the environment. I felt bad for the one that got between me a Grunt.

The game looks great but I wish the NVGs didn't look so grainy. I know it's meant to look real, but I've used them enough in the first set of missions I feel like I'm missing some details. I haven't really wrapped my head around the armor skill thing, which is to say I haven't begun to use it heavily during gameplay. I need to think about it to use it, so it hasn't become important to me yet. Another first for me has been whenever I'm up close to one of the Covenant, getting a good look at it, I'm usually in a lot of trouble. Best to kill them from a distance.

I'm uneasy about continuing this suicide mission, but I'm Heroic all the way.

Blog 2.5 (aka Twitter killed my Blog)

2009-11-16T22:17:00.004-05:00

I used to be good at writing. I could pick a topic and go on for paragraphs. In the past couple years I have learned how to use the internets to express my inner geek and share with the world how I perceive it. Whether that's good or bad is debatable, but it feels good to me. It takes some time to put several paragraphs of thought together and I'm kind of a lazy person. Then I discovered Twitter last February, not coincidentally around the time I stopped blogging. Like most I didn't "get" Twitter at first, but it suddenly opened up to me and I figured out how to use it as a micro-blog. So, in a way, I've been blogging, just in 140 characters or less, and a lot more frequently. But Twitter is much more temporary and a bit like a stream of consciousness, whereas this blog is a much more permanent record of my thoughts I, or others, can research and archive. So I'm trying to get back in a semi-permanent habit of actually writing a blog.

I've been rather occupied this television season with all the Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Paranormal shows on, to the point I got a DVR this summer, which I promptly filled, and just can't keep up with the network broadcasts. iTunes, Xbox Live and Hulu help. I've also been trying to see all the Sci-Fi movies and enjoy the spate of great games, so maybe I'll concentrate on what I'm watching and playing for now.

One of this year's shows hit me out of left field, which is Stargate Universe (SGU). The reason I didn't expect it is I never watched any of the Stargate franchise, not really. I know of it. I did watch most of SG-1 season 3 once. I'm aware of the universe of Stargate, but I never saw the movie either. The badly named SyFy (rhymes with "sippy") has been doing good with their new shows so I gave it a shot, and liked it immediately. I would call it Lost... in space (not Lost in Space, which is obvious). The SciFi elements are compelling, but I'm not as interested in the drama. The basic idea is a group of barely functional soldiers and engineers are working on a type of Stargate with 9 symbols no one has ever heard of before. The chief scientist initiates a plan, I call Operation: Last Starfighter, that puts the mathematical puzzle placed by the Ancients (get it? an ancient race of aliens from our past?) into an MMO to see what enterprising 20-something-year-old can decipher it. The plan works, and a new guy gets brought on board, just in time to evacuate into the now-working, 9-digit Stargate. Woosh, they are all effed-up and stuck on an "Ancient" ship a billion LYs from Earth. The ship is busted and every episode is a struggle to survive a new issue. This is what Star Trek: Voyager should have been like. The feeling of being isolated is palpable. They even have a way to transfer their consciousness into people back on Earth, and it still feels claustrophobically lonely.

The ship, translated from Ancient as Destiny, is a character as well. A massive broken-down ship that needs a lot of TLC and there's not enough crew to do it. Speaking of the crew, they are group of almost dysfunctional types. Around 80 in all, but none have the special skills needed to survive on a damaged ship a 1,000,000,000 light years from Earth. (Look at those zeroes, that's a lot.) The mains are Colonel Young, XO Scott, First Lt. TJ (Medic), Master Sergeant Greer (who looks too young to be an E-8), Eli (the above MMO puzzle solving master), Chloe (fairly useless eye-candy who likes to sleep around, just not with Eli), and Dr. Rush (the genius scientist in charge who got them in this mess).

The episode I'm going to talk about is "Time", the seventh episode. Cleverly, each episode is named after the issue of day. We so far have had Air, Light, Dark, Water, and Earth (yes, Earth became a problem). [SPOILER Condition Red] The first part of the episode is told on a jungle planet through the lens of a Kino, a floaty ball-camera that Eli uses to record everything. We are generally shown a failed mission where the "away team" becomes ill, are attacked and killed by slug things, and the Stargate seems to malfunction. Reveal: all the people are still on Destiny watching the Kino recording of an event that never happened. Then the crew gets sick and realize they have a timeline for infection but no vector. Studying more Kino video gives away more clues that explain a Solar Flare from a local star effects the wormhole inside the Stargate, somehow folded on itself, and is showing the past. But a past that doesn't really happen. A temporal paradox. Eventually they figure out what's making everyone sick and send a new, well prepared away team to the planet, in the hopes of getting a cure for the illness. This "away team" fairs just as bad, and ends with a message from Scott warning the Destiny crew.

I'm usually really good with time travel stories, as this seemed like an episode of first season ST: Voyager. But I got lost in this one. The episode ends in what looks like a cliff-hanger, with the news if the crew doesn't go to Jungle Planet 01, everyone dies on Destiny from microbe infection, but on the planet they'll get killed by the indigenous insect life. Sad to say I'm lost, but there are competing timelines going on. The crew find a recorded Kino from a point in the future where an away team is sent to Jungle Planet 01. Because of wormhole distortion they are sent into the past, but don't realize it until they try to contact their ship, which isn't around yet. When they try to activate the Stargate on the planet, the wormhole connects to a future point on Jungle Planet 01, not Destiny. The "present" for the episode seems to be the crew on Destiny watching the Kino videos, and now that I think of it I don't know how they got them in the first place. I'm actually really confused and hope they clear this up in the next episode. If not, I read somewhere this is a self contained episode and I must have missed something. I did watch this in the morning before coffee, so I'll live with that excuse for now. I have failed my Time Lord training. And since I deleted it from my DVR I gotta find it on SyFy or something.

If anyone has any comments to help me out, I'd truly appreciate it. This is an amazing show. Logging Out.

Who's on First

2009-02-23T00:40:00.001-05:00

Most of the time when I watch TV or Movies I'm on the look out for actors I've seen in other things. This may seem odd, or maybe everyone does it and I'm just odd for writing about it. This came to mind when I went to see The International. The previews I saw looked somewhat generic but it had Clive Owen. On him alone, from Children of Men and King Arthur, I wanted to see it. Sometimes my plan backfires, like in this movie, but other times I just enjoy seeing an actor doing something else. Case in point is Summer Glau in Terminator: TSSC.

Why do I do this? I think of it as building up "Geek-Cred". The more roles I see an actor in the more I want to see him/her do other things, for example, Harrison Ford. He's got more "Geek-Cred" as Han Solo and Indiana Jones than anybody else, but I'll add in Jack Ryan and Richard Kimball FTW. So who are the pantheon of actors and actresses I follow? Here's a list, with some descriptions of who I like:

Any of the main actors from the five Star Trek TV series. William Shatner is on par with Harrison Ford just for being Kirk, but I'll add in Twilight Zone, TJ Hooker, Airplane 2, Dodgeball and Boston Leagal. George Takei as Hiro's father in Heroes. Walter Koenig in Babylon 5. Patrick Stewart did Excalibur and Dune before TNG, but then we can add X-Men, Eleventh Hour and Robin Hood: Men in Tights; as well as voice work for Anime movies Steamboy and Nausicaa (ironic since Picard is stabbed by a Nausicaan in TNG episode "Tapestry"). Brent Spiner shows up in Independence Day, Phenomenon and an episode of Leverage; as well as voice work in the South Park movie and Gargoyles. And the list goes on. Connor Trinner even showed up last week on Terminator. As you can see Star Trek is a no-brainer when it comes to following actors.

Star Wars is another good one, Carrie Fisher stands out in The Blues Brothers, Austin Powers, and Fanboys. Warwick Davis shows up in everything from Time Bandits and Willow to newer fare like Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, and Hitchiker's Guide. These are cult actors I like to see pop up elsewhere. Billy D. Williams could have been Two-Face from the 1989 Batman but I also liked him in The Ladies' Man. Liam Neeson is worth seeing in just about everything, but he does an awesome version of Jason Bourne in Taken.

From other shows I love seeing anyone from Firefly, like the afore-mentioned Summer Glau. Adam Baldwin is now in Chuck, but he gets points for being a presidential bodyguard in Independence Day. Jewel Staite does some Stargate: Atlantis (as well as The X-Files), and Gina Torres can do no wrong in Xena, Hercules, Cleopatra 2525, 24, and The Matrix sequels, among others (she's even married to Mr. Fishburne).

The show John Doe is an odd one, but I became a fan of both Dominic Purcell (who went on to be in Blade: Trinity and Prison Break) and Sprague Grayden (who pops up in Jericho and this year's season of 24). The X-Files of course has Gillian Anderson (who did voice work for Princess Mononoke and as Data Nully in ReBoot) and the awesome David Duchovny, who was already known for Twin Peaks but gets to add Evolution and Zoolander to his geek-cred. Both MacGyver and Quantum Leap gave us leading actors to follow; Richard Dean Anderson (Stagate SG-1) and Scott Bakula (Enterprise).

In movies everyone from TRON gets points, but especially Bruce Boxleitner for showing up in Babylon 5. The whole cast of any sci-fi movie made by James Cameron or John Carpenter. Kurt Russel gets high marks for Escape from New York/LA and The Thing, then you can add Death Proof, Soldier, and Stargate. Ed Harris just dominates his roles from movies like The Abyss, Apollo 13, The Rock, The Truman Show, and A History of Violence. Michael Biehn gets lots of geek-cred from his roles in The Terminator, Aliens, The Abyss, The Rock, and Planet Terror. I can't forget the cast of any of the Matrix movies. Ifyou like Keanu Reeves or not he ranks way up there with movies like Bill & Ted, Point Break, Speed, Constantine, A Scanner Darkly, and The Day the Earth Stood Still. Oh, and Bill Paxton should never be forgotten in The Terminator, Weird Science, Aliens, Predator 2, True Lies, Twister, Apollo 13, and U-571. In fact he's the only actor to play a character killed by a Terminator, an Alien, and a Predator.

Some are just individual actors whose careers add up to lots of geek movies. Vin Diesel stands out with Pitch Black (which also gave us Claudia Black in Farscape) and The Chronicles of Riddick, but adds to it with The Fast & The Furious and xXx. Hugh Jackman gets it from X-Men, Swordfish and Van Hellsing. The Rock (aka Dwayne Johnson) gets it for just being himself in The Rundown, Doom, The Scorpion King, and a quick episode of Star Trek: Voyager. Any of the 80's action stars get it for nostalgia's sake, but I like to give Arnold lots of credit for the two Conan movies, The Terminator franchise, Red Sonja, Predator, The Running Man, Total Recall, and True Lies. Brad Pitt for Se7en, Twelve Monkeys, Fight Club and Troy. Wesley Snipes primarily gets my vote from the Blade movies but I'll add Major League and Demolition Man. Sean Connery gets all the points he needs from James Bond, being Indy's dad, and The Rock, but I'm subtracting a couple for being in Zardoz. Shia LaBeouf gets some well deserved credit for I, Robot, Constantine, Indy 4, and Transformers, as well as an appearence in The X-Files. I'll let you figure out on your own why I like Keith David.

I'm giving Will Smith his own paragraph here. He gets Bad Boys I & II, Independence Day, Men in Black I & II, Enemy of the State, Wild Wild West, I, Robot, I Am Legend, and Hancock; not to mention a little TV show he did. I would like to see him do something in space next.

It's sort of like a game I play. Where have I seen this actor before? But, it is also a kind of barometer I can measure an unknown quantity of TV or Movie time. This may seem an exhuastive list but there are many more I'm leaving out. I could spend a week adding up Star Trek alone. I want to show you how I approach new shows and movies. Last example will be Dollhouse. Created by Joss Whedon who gets huge points for creating Buffy/Angel, and Firefly/Serenity. The star is Eliza Dushku who was in True Lies, Bring It On, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and Buffy/Angel. Guest starring Harry Lennix from The Matrix sequels and 24; Tahmoh Penikett comes from the new Battlestar Galactica and Smallville; Olivia Williams has done The Postman, The Sixth Sense, and X-Men 3; Amy Acker did some Alias, Justice League, Supernatural, Angel, and Special Unit 2. This all adds up to a pretty good sounding show. Logging out.

Just a Quicky

2009-02-18T01:08:00.003-05:00

I decided not to blog on Monday, as it was a day off, but I wanted to say a couple things as an appetizer to a future blog. I have a crush I developed last year, thanks to Penny Arcade. And the focus of that crush is Felicia Day, and her Knights of Good. This weekend I caught up on The Guild season 2 which is a free HD download on Xbox Live. Tonight is the finale of season 2, and to celebrate, Felicia Day ran a live Ustream video of a party at her place. I think it's her place. I've never watched a live streaming anything on the internet, and that includes the panda cam.

This is still like watching the characers of The Guild on my computer, but they are live. The only person missing was Tink/Amy Okuda. I think the live show was actually longer than the combined two seasons, including the 2 christmas specials and four blooper reels. These are inspired comedian/actors in a niche web comedy. If you have ever been addicted to an MMO you owe yourself this series.

This Saturday I caught up on all my TV for the week (see previous post for viewing habits) and the shows I regularly watch that stand out are 24, Fringe, and Terminator. These are the only shows that are getting anywhere. I've decided Heroes is on a slow burn. It's a pilot-light of a plot that just burns and slowly moves the story forward. Very slowly. I was pumped when Michael Dorn was the President at the last episode of December, but where is he? 24 is the exact opposite of Heroes. There is more done between commerical breaks than in whole episodes of Heroes. Even Knight Rider gets more done.

My last problem I'll aim at Heroes is Matt's precog powers. SPOILER WARNING: Matt can see the future and can see that Speedster Girlfriend will get shot by the tail of the plane. Matt then goes there just to see her die. He never tried warning her or nothing. What is the point of seeing the future if you can’t do anything about it. I know that Heroes started on the premise that Doomsday is approaching unless everyone can stop it. So obviously, the future can change. Matt draws a picture of himself being shot, then he gets shot. That’s a great power since he drew himself getting shot right before he got shot. Maybe if he left his apartment instead of drawing he wouldn’t have got shot, he wouldn’t crash in a plane, and Daphne wouldn’t have been shot either. This is a great power. Your own power is just effing with you. Otherwise, Matt’s a cool character.

I haven't watched much CSI in the past couple years, but now that Morpheus is on the show it actually has my attention. I'm back with it. I even watch CSINY off and on, I just can't watch Miami. I want more Fishburne face time in the show, because I care less about everyone else, except Catherine; I still like her.

I gave up on Call of Duty 5 this weekend for the Minesweeper: Flags on XBL. Minesweeper is generally about logical and careful plotting to clear the board. CoD:WaW on Veteran is so random when it came to engagements you can't work through it slowly. CoD 2 on Veteran was a slow process but you could still be patient and work. On some boards in World at War you can't hold still. Even if you take your time the game spawns enemies behind you, just to kill you. But if you watch your back, nothing happens. I spent an hour trying to get past one part. That's my due diligence. I moved on to the first Russian mission that pits you against a sniper. No matter what I did the sniper killed me. After a half hour I looked up on a forum and it turns out I have to shoot him more than once. But his bullets kill you instantly. No effin' way. I'm out. Gonna play Minesweeper, where I die on my own terms. Logging out.

Joss Whedon fills my Friday night TV needs, again

2009-02-13T23:43:00.005-05:00

Everyone tells me that putting a show on Friday night equals the death of a show. Maybe this is true, it certainly killed Firefly, but I seem to remember a little show called The X-Files. As I was in college when it first started, and an active social life (yes, I used to have those), I was riveted and started rearranging my schedule to be at home at 9pm to watch it. Then it moved to Sunday, and it never felt right to me. Maybe, somewhere in me, I associate a day and a show on a strange, instinctual level. At the time of VCRs I still wanted to see it as it was broadcast. This feeling is still strong in me with today's technology of TiVo and DVRs, streaming Netflicks and iTunes and Xbox Live. I still enjoy watching a show in its time slot. My days/tv shows of the week have been colored by past watching habits. These include Sunday for Quantum Leap and MacGyver, Saturday for Star Trek and Farscape. Enterprise even felt right on Wednesday, and Thursday gets CSI. This helped me associate Friday with weird, creepy TV.

This year's TV season has been one of the best, with something to watch every day. My viewing habits are as follows:

Monday- Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, 24, Chuck, Heroes

Tuesday- Fringe, Leverage

Wednesday- Knight Rider

Thursday- CSI

Friday- Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Tonight, things changed for the better. Fringe doesn't "feel" like a Tuesday show but more of a Friday show. I'm not really complaining though as Friday's new line up is awesome. Terminator is back from its December hiatus and Joss Whedon's Doll House follows at 9pm. Terminator was a decent episode and has renewed my faith in the series as I felt it beginning to slide at the end of last year. This episode in particular had a guest star spot by "Trip" Tucker from Enterprise, which is great. As a geek I enjoy seeing actors cross pollinate between shows, especial Star Trek and Firefly, like Data showing up in Leverage, or more importantly, River as a Terminator. I just wish John Connor would man-up and change the subtitle of the show to The John Connor Chronicles. It's a subtle difference that could move the show forward towards Salvation. BTW I love the musical cues that remind you that you're watching a Terminator story.

But tonight's Doll House is the big deal. This put Whedon back on Friday nights. I don't know how he can take so many ideas from so many different sources and cram them into a series, giving the appearance of something fresh. This is equal parts La Femme Nikita, Total Recall, Men in Black, The Island, Zoolander, and True Lies. Maybe even a little Dark Angel and My Own Worst Enemy. Coincidentally or not, the main character, Echo, is played by Eliza Dushku who was in True Lies. For a show with, what I thought, was a terrible advertising campaign, it's actually quite good. Whedon has me hooked; I am definitely a fanboy of his and I love Friday nights, again.

However, during commercials, Summer Glau and Dushku talked to the audience, which seemed really staged and stilted. On a positive note I think the opening credits are great. A few years ago Discover magazine did an article on a photographer who took real world images and did some Photoshop magic to make them look like toy models of reality. When you looked close you could see it was real. Doll House does this with even greater effect, especial considering the irony of the title.

As I write this blog, Enter the Dragon is on and I just love the "Charlie Brown" sound when dudes hit the ground. Since I haven't mentioned Star Trek for the last few minutes I came across this tidbit. One less thing to worry about. Thanks JJ. See you next broadcast.

Windows Vista? I hardly know her!

2009-02-11T22:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, after a cheap screening of Push, a friend of mine said he's got a problem with his laptop. He asked if I could get my geek on and fix the problem. So I innocently headed over to his apartment to solve the issue.

Here's the deal. He bought a Dell laptop a few months ago and has it wirelessly connected to an AT&T router/cable modem thingy. I took a quick look at the laptop and I couldn't find any icons that helped find his wireless settings. It suddenly dawned on me, "This is Vista". Oh, crap. I've never used Vista, like I've never used acid to clean my eyes. There was a preference window for his network stuck on the desktop that wouldn't go away. I couldn't even click any of the buttons, it just chimed at me. I was a stranger in a strange land.

I recently upgraded my mac at work from Tiger to Leopard, but the transition was a bit more seamless (after a punch in the face during install that I'll post in the future). In the back of my mind I had always hoped Vista was a better tuned version of XP but I was sadly mistaken. I tried shutting the computer off but the stupid icon that looks like an on/off button is just a hibernation switch. Who does that! I eventually stabbed at the correct combination of buttons and icons to get a summary; that he had local access only connection status with his Wi-Fi. Something was up.

A forum search over the next hour unearthed this nugget. These is a bug/flaw/feature in Vista where it randomly stops communicating wirelessly. This has been going on since 2007? You mean there's no service pack or patch in almost 2 years that addresses this issue? WTF!!?! I did find one helpful piece of advice and that was to go into the Wireless Connection properties (which I found by chance/The Force) and disable the IPv6 setting.

Upon a fresh reboot the thing stalled in log-out for more than 10 minutes. In that time I learned why I don't like Nip/Tuck but graciously it ended and my buddy had to pull the battery to stop the laptop. Pull the battery? For real? Is Vista that effed up? Then he got it running again, and I'm beginning to question where he got is info; you shouldn't have to pull the battery. But then, it worked perfectly. Go me. The forum that helped me out is here.

In the end I learned I hate Vista. I'm sure it was built with the best intentions but XP is just fine and I ain't playing with Windows 7 Beta. F*** that. He also has the latest version of Internet Explorer that is so muddled and confusing I couldn't find the Internet Options menu to set his home page for him. Microsoft, here's a message, if it ain't broken, don't fix it.

Today I needed to clear my mind of PC Windows stuff by trying to figure out how to make an RSS feed out of an XML page for our new Podcasts on the website. I went to an eHow page that steered my wrong but I found my course on the Apple help page. It took some time to learn XML coding for iTunes, because, as it turns out, they have specific tags for coding all the metadata. But, in the end; mission accomplished. Submitting to iTunes caused me grief when the system clock upset the process. I kept geting a session timout error. After following yet another forum I got it working and suddenly it was submitted.

I received an e-mail saying, standby for a confirmation e-mail while we review. Now its out of my hands and up to the Apple Podcast Gods. And, if you are wondering if I liked the movie Push, you'll have to wait for next weeks podcast. BTW, I wish Dakota Fanning would hurry and grow up, because it seems creepy that I like seeing her in movies. She's almost 15 and I think I started seeing her on TV at age 8. See you next broadcast.

Red Ring of WTF!!1!

2009-02-10T01:15:00.007-05:00

This is my 50th Blog and this week is about Death and Birth. The Blessed Exchequer signed a Death Note with my Xbox 360’s name (probably its serial number) and it Red Ringed Friday night, right after I bought Call of Duty 5. Unlike a Terminator, the red light stays on in death, mocking me. I believe it died a quiet death. As the GPU slowly melted, it uttered the words “contact Microsoft” and “E74” and “there is another Skywalker”, then finally “Rosebud.” Luckily my Birthday was Saturday and I got a new one. In the Phoenix ashes of my 3+ year white-and-chrome 20GB model a new beast was forged; the black-and-chrome 120GB console of the Gods. I shall name it Mjolnir, for references to both Thor and Halo; and I guess Stargate, Matrix III, Too Human and Tomb Raider Underworld as well.

I was worried about migrating my GamerTag over to the new system, as a friend of mine, whom I will refer to as RW15F, had corruption issues doing the same thing a couple year ago. After watching a progress bar for a while it worked. Now I need to find a way to copy all my save files from my old 20GB HDD to the new hotness. So I turned a Red Ring WTF into a Black Elite FTW! I’ll try to get my older one fixed and bring it to work so I can play in my cubicle, too. Don’t tell no one.

The Army kept me busy this weekend so I didn’t have to much down time to dwell on my broken hardware. But, I did catch up on my reading. Almost done with A Singular Destiny, which, as a Trek geek, is making so much out of old and new peoples and places in the Star Trek universe its beginning to outshine the TV versions. It’s a great political tale on par with the best of Deep Space Nine. Read my last blog for more info. Now, instead of forging ahead with new books, of other franchises (Magic: The Gathering or Star Wars), released this year I’m going to dive into the Destiny Trilogy which set the stage for this book.

On Friday I went to my local Comic Book store and picked up some random titles. Of those was a new Star Trek title from IDW named Countdown, an “official prequel” to the new movie this year. I’m not giving up any spoilers but this comic is awesome. I have so many questions from the 2 previews (and 1 teaser), and some get answered, or at least made clearer. Get this! Unless, of course, you are under a Star Trek embargo because I think it is going to ruin a few surprises. I’ve already seen a couple panels that I wish were in the movie. However if this comic blows all the movie surprises, I’m going to be royally pissed. I don’t think I can resist reading this thanks to the last page cliff hanger. Damn comic books. In Japan you get a new story every week. Here I gotta wait a whole month.

I also read some Detective Comics, Thor, and Cable. Just a quick impression of each:

Cable #10: Great artwork, really like the airbrush quality. Bishop is a dick.

Detective Comics #849: Part 5 of a 6-part death of Batman tie in involving Hush. Hard to rate without reading other parts. Okay.

Thor #11: 1 year anniversary of the death of Capt. America. Thor visits his grave. Interesting issue. I like the Thor parts but could care less about any other god. xxSPOILERxx. The fact that Thor can talk to Cpt. A in the afterlife is interesting but begs the question, do all Marvel characters that die still exist for the Gods to commune with?

Thor #12: Loki is a dick in Las Vegas and I just don’t care about a story without Thor. Not even Balder is present.

On the Marvel subject I watched the first episode of the new season of Heroes last week and it kind of reminds me of Marvel’s Civil War from ‘06. I loved the Civil War, please see previous blog, and any reference to it is much appreciated. Since Marvel will probably never do a movie depicting those events, maybe Heroes can do their own version. See you next broadcast.

The Chronicles of Star Trek: Escape from Butchered Canon

2009-02-06T21:19:00.012-05:00

I called in sick yesterday with some kind of sniffling/ sneezing/coughing/ aching/stuffy head/fever kind of illness only one brand of terrible tasting liquid can cure. So, instead of drinking something green, I chose a Microsoft brand cure in the form of an Afro Samurai loaded Xbox to pass the time. I am late in the game, near the end, fighting the Empty 7, when the actual issues of this game rear their ugly head. I got just far enough to face the final bad guy today and I decided the system for boss-fighting is way too broken and I’ve put the game back on the shelf never to be played again. Unless DLC comes along. I do like the Chambara-style killing moments, though, which is strangely the best part of this game.

Maybe a passive experience will make me feel better so I put in the original Director’s Cut (ie not the Spike TV version) and watched the first three (of five) episodes. It is so much better than I remember it on TV, but it was edited back in 2007. I started comparing the plot points and character moments between the show and the game and I found that I really like the story told in the game better than on TV. Now I need to read the Manga to jack my whole experience up. The different levels of the game are set to different moments in the show, but a bit rearranged and drawn out for gaming purposes. So, my recommendation is if you like the show get the damn game, just hit the forums for ways to get past the cheesy bosses.

When I wasn’t napping during a CSI:NY marathon I continued reading a new Trek Book that came out last week, A Singular Destiny. What struck me in this book was it’s weaving of TV, movie, and book plot points, creating a much better tapestry of the Star Trek universe, post-Nemesis, than I expected. The main characters are Mining company heads, diplomats, Klingon ship captains, Federation bureaucrats and the like, all set as a sequel to the Destiny trilogy released last year. The book does a good job of keeping me informed of past events from older books, while creating a desire to read them anyway. You can easily step back into Trek at this point and not feel left out of 4 years of storytelling. If this new Trek movie is successful, hopefully we could have a new show to watch. And, I hope that those writers take cues from these books and not re-hash old treaded ground from the previous series. In fact, a new series based on these books would be awesome.

For those that might not have any idea what I’m talking about, here’s the scoop. Star Trek books have never been canon with the show or movies and usually not even canon with each other, The Shatnerverse not withstanding. I’ve noticed of late the current batch of books dating back to the era around Star Trek: Nemesis started a perpetual thread of a story telling that continued well past this point, with more books to come this year. This is as close to canon as you can get from books and since we don’t have an post-Nemesis TV shows, why not read these. Here is a list I have compiled, in roughly chronological order, of novels to read of the continuing voyages.

Prior to Nemesis:
A Time to Be Born
A Time to Die
A Time to Sow
A Time to Harvest
A Time to Love
A Time to Hate
A Time to Kill
A Time to Heal
New Frontier: After the Fall
A Time for War, a Time for Peace
New Frontier: Missing in Action

After Nemesis:
The Next Generation: Death in Winter
Titan: Taking Wing
Titan: The Red King
Articles of the Federation
Titan: Orion's Hounds
The Next Generation: Resistance
The Next Generation: Q & A
The Next Generation: Before Dishonor
Titan: Sword of Damocles
The Next Generation: Greater than the Sum
Destiny I: Gods of Night
Destiny II: Mere Mortals
Destiny III: Lost Souls
A Singular Destiny

This roughly runs from late 2378 to mid 2381. See Memory Beta for a complete chronology of novels. Now I want to drop all my planned reading for the next couple months and just read Star Trek. There is also a series of “re-launched” books for both Deep Space Nine and Voyager which I believe also work as prequels to the above. I’ll list those in the future. Also, crew members from the IKC Gorkon/Klingon Empire novels are referenced adding them to the new book-canon as well as events from The Lost Era novels and Peter David’s series, New Frontier. As he is my favorite Trek author I have no problem added his work into the mix. More on all that in the future. Happy Waitangi Day everyone. BTW, check out the Weekend Ronin unnamed Podcast at its test location here. Click around the site if you'd like, but keep in mind it's in its Beta phase and not a lot is going on. See you next broadcast.